[Copypasta] How can this guy call himself a professional streamer

twitchquotes: šŸ˜” How can this guy call himself a professional streamer when he CLEARLY has no clue about what he's doing. You're supposed to kill the application process tree not alt+f4 like a fucking monkey FailFish Seriously I'm done watching this guy and if I see any one of your fuckers copypaste this I'll delete my account šŸ˜”
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iā€™m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iā€™m not sure what to say in interviews now if Iā€™m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE MODS

twitchquotes: ćƒ¼ā•ā”»ā”³ļø»ā–„Ī¾(ā•¬ą² ē›Šą² )Ī¾ā–„ļø»ā”»ā”³ā•äø€ "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE MODS!"
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Stop spamming your emojis

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I would greatly appreciate if you stop spamming your 'emojis'. I am trying to watch this stream in peace but you ANIMALS are disrupting my time. I will go to complain on r/DotA2 if you continue. Thanks
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Dota 2

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

Trump. Amaz. MaSsan. Hafu.

twitchquotes: Trump. Amaz. MaSsan. Hafu. Long ago, the four Asians streamed together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the F O R S E N B O Y S attacked. Only Reynad, master of all four, could stop them, but when Twitch needed him most, he was too salty.
twitch chat
October 2014
Reynad
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