[Copypasta] Mesothelioma ad script

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March 2021
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The Black Rat, Rattus Rattus

twitchquotes: The Black Rat, Rattus Rattus, was first described by Henrik Ahnberg in his 18th century work β€œA Dong’s guide to Dota”. An elusive and hardy creature, the rat excels at damaging structures and retreating at the first sign of danger, only to begin its attack anew once the threat has passed. Unlike many of his peers, Ahnberg greatly respected the rat, finding many of its features similar to his own. His love for the rat became so great that he soon left the world of men and descended into the sewers to live among the rats, eventually becoming their king.
twitch chat
March 2015
AdmiralBulldog

Dota 2

A 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I've been following you for a while now, and today is a big day for me : I'm gonna get married. As weird as it looks, you've been a huge inspiration to me : since I've discovered your stream, I decided to go Vegan, and that's how I met my future wife : a 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara. Thanks again for streaming!
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

John Cena is an Asian person born into a white body

I get a feeling that John Cena is an Asian person born into a white body. He has a lot of discipline, he was the most hardworking WWE wrestler during his time at the WWE, always coming early and putting in the work. He is extremely wise beyond his years. When confronted with a stalker, he gave the guy life lessions. He is extremely patient and show the same restraint an Asian person has. I don't know if he read a lot of Art of War or Eastern philosophy when he was younger. He learning Chinese and playing piano shows me that he is very discipline and very eager about self improving. He is a millionaire and is famous, but yet, he still wants to improve. Interestingly enough, he didn't marry some hot female despite Nikki Bella expecting a proposal. He started dating and actually married Shay Shariatzadeh not long after meeting her. John Cena wanted a smart girl, and Shay had a career and wasn't just hot. So there are many examples that John Cena surprise me as a person. Not many white people can legit speak Mandarin for that long after learning it for a short period of time. His pronunciation isn't the best, but he has ways with his words and his mind is sharp. No wonder he is so successful.
June 2021

Putin should start an OnlyFans to save the Russian economy

Think about it. The Russian economy is in shambles. All assets frozen, there's no money coming in. But if he just spread that hiney for some people who would like it then why not? With a couple butt spread pictures maybe a ruble can be worth more than a potato again. Here are some content ideas that I suggest: Wanking Videos (pretty basic, these are the cheapest ones cuz his dickπŸ† is like 1 cmπŸ₯œ) Body Worship Videos (kinda hot ngl 😳😌😰, all his dick sucking oligarchs oil his body and touch him in ways he never thought possibleπŸ‘‰πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘‹πŸ€›) Sanction Bukkake (a livestream where in a dick cums on his face every time he gets a sanctionπŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦) Lukashenko Sex Tapes (these are pretty expensive, a collection of Vladdy Daddy and Lukashenskank cumming with every position in the KamasutraπŸ’ƒπŸ•Ίβ™‹πŸ‡πŸ•) Nuke-In-Crack Challenge (the most expensive one! This is where he fills his hole with the invaluable Russian crude oil and tries to fit a Nuclear Warhead up his ass! β›½β˜’οΈπŸ‘πŸŽ†) What u guys think?
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders

twitchquotes: Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing