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More Copypastas
without throwing your cat across the room
twitchquotes:
Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
Buff bunny (my gf telling the waitress my food is wrong)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(\__/)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(•ㅅ•)⠀⠀my gf telling the waitress
⠀＿ノ⠀ヽ⠀ノ⠀＼＿⠀⠀my food is wrong
/⠀️⠀Y⠀⌒Ｙ⌒⠀Ｙ⠀️⠀️ヽ
(⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/⠀⠀⠀|
|⠀️⠀️⠀️ﾉ⠀¯¯\⠀￣￣ヽノ
ヽ＿＿＿⠀⠀＞､＿_／
⠀⠀⠀｜⠀(⠀王⠀)〈⠀⠀ (\__/)
⠀⠀⠀/⠀⠀ﾐ`——彡⠀\ (•ㅅ•) me
My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)
At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocado’s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". They’ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriend’s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking he’s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brother’s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. I’m literally pissing myself as I write this.
I think Zarya smells like dandelions
twitchquotes:
I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze. Her colored hair gives of the scent of strawberries in bloom, and her pink gun leaves a smell of bubblegum when shot. Her body smells of sweat, and a strong womanhood. I would love to stuff my head right into her armpit and smother myself. To smell her tomboyish energy. I would die for this.
twitch chat
Overwatch
It was a real life gamer girl
So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. “fuck, Fuck!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. “Please,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?