[Copypasta] Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR

twitchquotes: SwiftRage :loudspeaker: KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: MR. KRABS IS IN THERE! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: STANDING AT THE CONCESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: PLOTTING HIS OPPRESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker:
twitch chat
November 2016

Classic

You've been gnomed

████████▓▓████████▓▓█████████████
██████▓▓█████████████▓███████████
█████▓███████████████▓███████████
████▓█████████████████▒██████████
████▓▓▓▒░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████
████▒▒░▒▒░▒▒▗▒▒▒▒▒▒▗▒▒▒██████████
████▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████
████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████
█████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃▒░░░▒▃▒▒███████████
██████▓▒▒▒▒▒▃▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃░▒▒█████████
███████▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░██████████
█████████▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████████
██████████░▒░░░░░░░░░░██▓▒▒▒▒▒▓▒▓
▓▓█████████████▒░░░▒████▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▓
▒▒▒▒▒▒▓███████████████████▒░░▒▒▒█
▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒█████████████▒████░▒████
█▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒████████████▒███████████
███▓▒▓▓▒█████████████████████████
░░█▀▀░░█▄░█░█▀▀█░█▄░▄█░█▀▀░█▀▄
░░█░▀█░█░▀█░█░░█░█░▀░█░█▀▀░█░█
░░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀░▀▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀▀▀░▀▀░
October 2018

Classic

I'm just a memer

twitchquotes: ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ FeelsBadMan ☂ just a memer ヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ、ヽヽ
twitch chat
June 2016
Forsen

Classic

KEKW

⢰⣶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⣹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿ ⠄⠤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡈⠙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠠⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶ ⢠⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣭⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⢉⣉⡉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛ ⢸⣿⡀⠄⠈⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣴⣿⣷⣭⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⡟⠋⠈⠻⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠈⠻⠿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⢿⣦⣄⣠⣄⠛⠟⠃⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⣰⣦⣼⣿⣿⡿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣥⣾⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣧⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2019

Classic

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing