[Copypasta] This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat. This chat is pure, adulterated, 100% intelligence. Everybody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that are really good. THIS is why I'm turning off the professional gameplay and will just watch the chat. And I swear to god, if any of you don't copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
December 2016
I used to be a real ad
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I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex

twitchquotes: I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex. I mean sleep. Together. Under a blanket. In your bed. While your laying on my arm with my other hand on your tummy. With the window cracked, so its chilly and we have to cuddle closer. No talking, just the muffled cries.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Octavian Morosan. I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA. Recent reports say that you are playing a children's card game and spilling PJSalt everywhere. The PJSalt is clogging our network and blocking our abilities to spy on you and the rest of Canadaland. I am going to have to ask you to stop the salt as it is a threat to national security. Please don't copy paste this official document. This is serious.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

salty

You have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin

sigh To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investorā€™s head. Thereā€™s also Sitoshisā€™s free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance. The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldnā€™t appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshiā€™s brilliant programming method - the ā€œBlockchain,ā€ which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. Iā€™m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. šŸ˜‚ And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. Itā€™s for the ladiesā€™ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that theyā€™re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid šŸ˜Ž
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Bitcoin

RNG in Cardstone is considered illegal gambling

twitchquotes: Dear Reynad, I am a representative of Twitch tv. I am sad to inform you that due to the random aspects of the RNG associated with soulfire's discard process this can be considered illegal gambling and you are going to be forced to stop these games immediately. Much love, Twitch tv admins. please no copypasterino al pacino greasy guido
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: Iā€™m sorry I kept referring to Fredā€™s liberally mayoā€™d oven-roasted chicken sub as a ā€œbukkake specialā€. Iā€™m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. Iā€™m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling ā€œETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?ā€ in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
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