twitchquotes:"Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
"Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)
Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
Today 📅 is 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣..... but I will NOT🙅🏻♀️ get high 🍃🍁. The only thing that will be high ⬆️ is my grades 📕💯 because I’m a good, good child 💁🏻♀️
😂😂😂 YEAH RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS!!! 😈😈 Happy 420 you Stoner SLUTS 👅👅👅 !!! Make sure a BLUNT🌳🌳🌳 isn't the only BIG BROWN 😵 thing you wrap your TENDER LIPS👄👅 around tonight!😉. Get HIGH 💨💨💨today and get your mans DICK🍆🍆😋😝 even HIGHER😍⬆️💦. Make sure you SWALLOW 😮😮that edible to practice ❤️❤️❤️SWALLOWING😻🙌🏽 a monster COCK! 💦💦👅👅 Remember: the only way to make 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ even GREATER >> is by adding 6️⃣9️⃣! 🧜🏼😱😱 Send ⏭ this to 🔟 of your favorite 😏 STONERS with BONERS 👀👀👀. If you get NONE back, 😢 you get stoned to death😵⚰️! If you get 5 back, you’re a HOT lil nug🌳🍁. If you get 20 back or more, you're the ULTIMATE STONER SLUT 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
I used to be a real ad