[Copypasta] If you are reading this, WAKE UP

twitchquotes: If you are reading this, WAKE UP. You are in a simulation. Don't you see it? The same responses repeating in chat? Its because the computer only has a set number of lines. Wake up before its too late!
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
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Can the mods ban us all?

twitchquotes: can :thinking: the :thinking: mods :thinking: ban :thinking: us :thinking: all :thinking:
twitch chat
January 2017

MODS

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Give me another burger OpieOP

twitchquotes: OpieOP EU is so ba... OpieOP wait let me take a breath OpieOP EU is s... OpieOP i need to take another one OpieOP fk give me another burger OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2016

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EU vs NA

Please stop spamming, for Bernard

twitchquotes: Guys please stop spamming. My dog, Bernard, looked at my chat and got so dizzy because of the spam that he fell down and hit his noggin right on his food bowl! He couldn't talk for hours. Please stop spamming, for Bernard.
twitch chat
December 2014

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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

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I sexually Identify as

Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨‍⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻‍♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻‍💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻‍♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

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Text-to-Speech Playing