[Copypasta] I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!

twitchquotes: I'm SICK of STREAMERS referring to all us all as "Twitch Chat" as if we're some sort of hivemind. I am NOT a DRONE. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!
twitch chat
May 2015
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

It's me Tanner from High School

twitchquotes: It's me Tanner from High School. I'm sorry for bulling you in class. Now I'm trying to be a better person and make amends. Please accept my apology. I am on the 12 steps program and trying to recover from alcoholism since I was diagnosed with a rare disease called ligma Just kidding nerd!! I'm gonna keep slapping Veronica's ass and driving around in my Dodge Charger. I gotta go to the gym. Good talk!
twitch chat
June 2019

Tanner from High School

Roe v. Wade Emoji Pasta

HEY πŸ‘‹πŸ˜© there comrade πŸ’¦πŸ’ͺcummy! the πŸ‘Ή supreme πŸ† cockπŸ› has πŸ—³voted to strike πŸ‘©β€βš–οΈβŒ›οΈdown the 🌈 sexy 🀧🀰🏻roe v. wade decision 😏according 🀀🦢🏻to a opinion πŸ–ŠwrittenβœοΈπŸ’Έ by daddy πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ™ˆ sammy πŸ‘ΆπŸ»πŸ™…πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ aLITo. πŸ·πŸ’¨ the opinion is a πŸ’¦πŸŒ FULL THROATED πŸ“²β€οΈβ€πŸ”₯GIRTHY πŸ† contraDICKtion πŸš«πŸ‘ of the 1973 πŸ‘ΏπŸ‘Ždecision that πŸ’πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ‘Œ guaranteed federal 😀 cocks-titutuinal 😳 protection πŸ‘…πŸ’„of abortion rights!!! ❀️‍πŸ”₯🫑everyone who πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’¦ woke remember πŸ™‹βœŠπŸ»πŸ€” to fund πŸ’ΈπŸ₯΅ planned parenthood and πŸŒͺπŸ‘Ό donate to πŸ§‘πŸΌβ€πŸΌπŸ€‘abortion funds! get yo πŸ“Έuturuses πŸ’‹πŸ‘ turnt you πŸ’ƒwhore! 🌭every whore knows 🧠🍼that everyone πŸ”œshould have πŸ‘©β€βš•οΈπŸ₯access to safe πŸ™ 🌎abortions ❀️😘 if they choose πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ‘€ to have one. πŸ‘‘πŸ‘Ήsend to ten πŸ˜¬πŸ™of your closest πŸš±πŸ…ΎοΈWHORES to secure abortion πŸ“«πŸ€rights in ameriCUM πŸ€€πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έif you get five βœ‹ back abortion πŸ˜˜πŸ’‹rights will be codified πŸ‘©β€βš–οΈπŸ€€in law πŸ“ΈπŸ‘ 
May 2022

Emoji Pasta

Politics

Titsa me, Mario!

June 2017
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