[Copypasta] I hope your sub's $5 are in Zimbabwean currency

twitchquotes: Wow, Kripp, I was really impressed by how you drew adequate cards and played them in the same ball-numbing, drone-like motions you always do. I hope your sub's $5 are in Zimbabwean currency. ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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More Kripp Copypastas

Kripparian here with VEGAN FACTS

twitchquotes: Hi guys Kripp here with VEGAN FACTS! Did you know that milk is literally !Worse Than Hitler! and also killed many people during the Twitch Chat-ocaust in the 1940's? If you drink milk your bones will be as frail as Reynad's Rag RNG and you'll basically be Leifman's brother. Well, that's all for today's vegan facts! Bye guys! BRO FIST!!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

I whispered into his ear, my word a soft caress: "LEGAL"

twitchquotes: Hᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴏʟs ʜᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ, ʏᴇᴛ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴏᴛ sᴇᴇ ɪᴛ. I ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ sᴜᴄᴄᴇᴇᴅ sᴏ ʙᴀᴅʟʏ, ʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ɴᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ. Bᴜᴛ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ғɪɴɪsʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴊᴏʙ ʙʏ ʜɪᴍsᴇʟғ. Bᴀᴍʙᴏᴏᴢʟᴇᴅ ʙʏ ʜɪs ᴏᴡɴ ᴍɪɴᴅ. I ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʜɪᴍ, ᴛᴏ ᴇɴsᴜʀᴇ ʜɪs ᴠɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ. Sᴏ I ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ʜɪs ᴇᴀʀ, ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴀ sᴏғᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴇss: "LEGAL".
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (“Chat”) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (“nl_Kripp”) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

This is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, this is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva. I have started working overtime at the power plant, and your sister Tatyana has gone to Berlin to sell her body to Kraut swine for money. We do all this to pay for your "Stoned Heart of the Cards" game. Please win tournament and send us rubles soon, so our family can be together again.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico. Me Englando is ferry bad but i just wantet to zay zat i crossed the river in a rubber boot to Murica to become a pro player! One day i saw ur stream and i see how handsome and good u are. Dat day i decided i wanna become like u! Zo i killed my wife sold her, bought a rubber boat and now im here! Zank u for inspiring me! One day i become good player and pimp like u! or else rapist like unle Benni No coparoni peperoni pastarino plz!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing