[Copypasta] John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS

twitchquotes: Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack

twitchquotes: Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack. His fingers were soft and smelled faintly of cucumber. He slowly pulled out the card, caressing it with his fingers. "I didn't expect it to be so big", he said as he looked at the 7/7 stats. "And only 4 mana?" he said and moaned softly.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

krippO

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
August 2016
Kripp

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage far too small for himself. Malnourished because of his "vegan" diet, his ribs are clearly visible through his coat. He barely has the energy to move, let alone enjoy life. Yet, he knows there's hope. He knows he could draw attention to himself, as he hears Kripp constantly talking to someone. In a single act of defiance, Dex barks to draw attention to his dire situation. "Quiet, Dex" is his only reply as Kripp ignores his pleas yet again.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hey TSM, thanks for paying for my free entertainment

twitchquotes: ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ Hey T S M, thanks for paying for my free entertainment ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing