[Copypasta] Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground

twitchquotes: Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

This is Catarrian's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian, this is the Catarrian's mother. I am writing to in human words because the Catarrian feels he has been mistreated. He tells me "meow" which means that he feels you are not giving him enough stream time. And he also said "Nyaa," which means you better pet the Catarrian
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

There are two types of chatters

twitchquotes: Let's get a few things straight. There are two types of chatters: Me and you. I write the "copypasta" and YOU copy and pasta them in chat. This is how it's always worked, we've got it down to a science. Ultimately it's your decision, but there is no room for indecision. So, make a choice NOW otherwise you can kiss this whole chat experience goodbye.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hey, kripp! 驴Qu茅 pasa, hombre?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! 驴Qu茅 pasa, hombre? Es Jeff de la clase de Historia del 煤ltimo semestre. No sab铆a que eras una especie de celebridad famosa hahahaha. Batirme, hombre. Por cierto, 驴alguna vez te uniste a Brian? 脡l era un ni帽o de T H I C C. XD Eres un perro as铆. Es genial verte de nuevo. 隆Golp茅ame en alg煤n momento!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Henry Dongerman and his pet donger Mr Mittens

twitchquotes: Hey my name is Henry Dongerman I lost my pet donger. Here's a picture of him [釙權技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉结晽] if you can help find him I would be eternally grateful he means the world to me. Mr. Mittens is his name if it helps share this around and pray to lord donger to help find him. His favorite song is 釙權技嗪堎勦簣嗉结晽 HARDER BETTER FASTER DONGER 釙權技嗪堎勦簣嗉结晽 so try playing that he may come
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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