[Copypasta] Permanently trapped in Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: People say Hitler is finally gone right? Well guess what, he isn't. Kappa revived him and permanently trapped him in Twitch Chat as punishment. He roams in the Twitch Chat rooms as imaqtpie mods.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
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hello my name is Carlos i from Turkmenistan

twitchquotes: hello my name is Carlos i from Turkmenistan. I watch master Q.T.PIE stream everytiem. i have no arm or leg so i playing with my huge !@#$%. I quit my job at the teemo mushroom factori to becom pro player. I go from bronze IV to gold IX in six monts. pls no
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Windmill of Friendship

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We are sending you to India to marry your beautiful cousin

twitchquotes: Hello Michael, this is your mother. I write here to inform you that your father and I do not approve of your timewaste playing childrens game for the internet. Therefor we are sending you to India to marry your beautiful cousin Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta and work as a train conductor..
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Red powder found on Summoner's Rift

twitchquotes: Imaqtpie's games were delayed today after a red powder was found on the rift. After analysis, Rioters determined the red substance, unknown to Imaqtpie, was the remnants of an enemy nexus. Games resumed after Rioters decided Imaqtpie was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
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Wow, that ACTUALLY killed me?

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper HUH k ResidentSleeper I'm really strong right now ResidentSleeper Wow, that ACTUALLY killed me? What the fuck ResidentSleeper We played that so bad ResidentSleeper
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Text-to-Speech Playing