[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Negatron Cloak

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January 2021

League of Legends

Teamfight Tactics

Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag

twitchquotes: :tf: BAN :tf: ONE :tf: 12 :tf: YEAR :tf: OLD :tf: AND :tf: YOU :tf: GET :tf: THE :tf: WHOLE :tf: 9GAG :tf:
twitch chat
February 2017

MODS

Classic

Ban X Get The Whole Y

Strong cringe feeling overflowing me

twitchquotes: Every time you reach out your hand to your webcam and lower your voice there is a strong cringe feeling overflowing me like a zoo lock overflows the board and there is no way I can handle it
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

Kripp, Blizzard here again

twitchquotes: Kripp, Blizzard here again. We've noticed that you've been away from Hearthstone for at least 2 hours. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still mages? We're serious about nerfing them if it's a problem to you. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon!
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Viewbots

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing