I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
ZOOMIN , IN THE FOreign. GOt thE enGINE ROARIN
twitchquotes:
Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓
twitch chat
Tyler1
Do NOT meet Robert Downey Jr. in real life!
I met him in real life and told him how much of a fan I was. He kept on saying rude things to me such as "Who are you", "How did you get in my house" and "I'm calling the police." Celebrities, PLEASE respect your fans!
I'm still not as salty as you
twitchquotes:
Reynad, I went to Isreal the other week. I went to the dead sea and floated on the incredibly salty water. I managed to get some in my mouth, and then came out ate a pretzel, and a hot dog with extra salt. And then ate an entire salt lick. I'm still not a salty as you. 
twitch chat
Reynad
salty
I hate April Fool's Day
I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday
twitchquotes:
I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, “Why, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
Kripp