[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Think about your actions

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although this subreddit has 179,776 readers, I am not receiving 179,776 upvotes on my posts. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'upvote'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to upvote my most recent posts. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
September 2018

Classic

FeelsStrongMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠁⠈⠉⠙⠻⢿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠠⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠪⡖⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠶⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢔⡢⠍⠉⠉⠩⠭⢑⣤⣔⠲⠤⠭⠭⠤⠴⢊⡻⣿ ⡿⠁⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⣤⠭⠓⠊⣁⣤⠂⠠⢀⡈⠱⣶⣆⣠⣴⡖⠁⠂⣀⠈⢷⣮⣹ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢳⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣿⡿⢿⣿⣇⣀⣥⣤⠤⢼⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠑⠚⢹⡟⠉⣑⠒⢺⡇⡀⠀⡹⠀⠀⣀⣴⣽⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠒⠉⠀⠀⢠⠃⠈⠙⠻⣍⠙⢻⡻⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣘⡄⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⢱⢸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠾⣟⣻⣛⠷⣶⣼⣥⣀⣀⣀⠀⢧⠀⠀⠀⠠⣧⣀⣼⣴⢽⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠹⡙⠛⠷⣿⣭⣯⣭⣟⣛⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣿⣭⣭⣾⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠉⠉⠉⡏⠉⠙⠛⠛⡿⣻⣯⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣷⣤⣄⣈⣆⣤⣤⣧⣶⣷⣿⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

GME $1000 IS NOT A MEME

🚀🚀🚀 UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE 🚀🚀🚀 LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. It’s the only weapon they have on us, but it won’t work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Don’t pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE. APES TOGETHER STRONG 🦍 💎 🚀
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex!

twitchquotes: OhMyDog Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex! I just wanted to let you know that some more of my fur fell out today. Maybe it's that "vegan" diet you've been putting me on? Anyways, I love you, and wish you would stop playing that card game all the time and talk to me and Rania sometimes. Sorry, that's a lot to ask, I know you need money to buy us more "kale" or whatever. Anyways, good luck on your "Heart Stone"! OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

haHAA emote

⡿⢋⡿⠛⣡⣿⣿⡟⢉⣽⣟⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠰⠏⠽⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⠛⣀⣈⠩⠭⠤⠤⠴⢶⣶⣤⡐⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠆⣠⣶⠖⠒⠒⠒⠲⠦⣤⣤ ⣤⣾⡟⣋⣠⡄⡀⣀⢀⡢⢌⣙⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⠏⡸⠟⣩⢠⡀⠤⢠⡄⣲⣶⣿ ⣿⡿⢷⣌⡛⠧⠤⠄⠘⣛⣂⣼⣿⡇⢠⣶⡆⠄⣿⡶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠦⠬⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢹⣿⣿⡄⠸⣷⣦⣬⣭⣭⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠃⢸⣿⣿⣷⡄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣋⠠⠂⣰⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣉ ⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣤⡆⢸⣿⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣶⣦⣄⡐⠲⣿⡋⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣷⣤⣉⡑⠈⢻⣿⣿⠟⢉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣷⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠇⣼⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠷⢤⣤⣤⠾⠿⠛⢛⣉⠉⡉⢻⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⢻⣿⠐⠄⡂⢀⣀⢐⡒⢒⠒⢒⠒⡒⠒⡒⢚⡉⣁⠰⠠⢀⣾⠇⣼⣿ ⣇⢻⣷⡈⢿⡇⢰⣌⡐⠨⢐⠛⠸⠇⠿⠇⠿⠸⠿⠘⣃⣩⡴⢁⣾⣿⣄⡟⢠ ⣿⡄⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⡟⢿⣷⣦⣌⡙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠃⡼ ⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣦⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠊⣴
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing