[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Yep

twitchquotes: sneaky's lips began to form the word. his lips were pursed into what couldn't be quite called an O shape, the sound of a C starting to leave his mouth. his lips stayed rounded as he let out the O, then finally flattened as he released the word. "cock," he finally spoke into the microphone, the tantalizing seconds over. he smiled watching the endless spam of "Yep", seeing the storm just one word could create.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021

Helicopter just dropped down to say

damn this shit crazy dawg but โ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌ.โ—™.โ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌ โ–‚โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–‚ โ—ขโ—คโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ—ขโ—ค โ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ•ฌ โ—ฅ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ—ค โ•โ•โ•ฉโ•โ•โ•ฉโ• โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ just dropped down to say โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ You hella gay, no cap โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ โ˜ป/ โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ /โ–Œ โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ / \
ascii art
December 2020

WE ARE RITO

twitchquotes: เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ WE ARE RITO เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ
twitch chat
July 2014
Riot Games

League of Legends

You have been gifted FREE COCK

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” TwitchVotes You have been gifted FREE COCK. Type YEP to activate now. โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
February 2021
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