[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Grand Widow Faerlina needs a new succubus

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Grand Widow Faerlina. I need a new succubus to lead my acolytes and I was wondering if Rania would be interested? I heard she is an amazing succubus. Thanks for asking! Kneelerino before me wormerino!
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

What the hell are both of these teams doing?

twitchquotes: What the hell are both of these teams doing? I'm in bronze and I could compete better than all of the players in this tournament. I can't believe I'm being held back by my teammates this bad. Any orgs feel free to DM me.
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

Dab Me Up

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣽⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⢸⡿⢶⠈⡇⣴⡎⢿⣿⡏⣵⠉⣥⢹⠏⠭⢹⣿⡏⢹⡏⣿⢉⣭⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⣭⣥⣾⣧⣭⣤⣧⣍⣥⣿⣿⣧⣿⣬⣿⣸⣦⣛⣻⣿⣧⣘⣃⣿⢘⣛⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢶⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣶⡿⠶⠤⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠏⠉⠩⠝⠋⠀⠀⠀⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣠⠴⢶⠶⠦⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠴⠉⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⢸⡧⠤⢤⠤⠤⠤⢀⣹⠟⢁⣠⣨⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡙⠶⣦⣤⣤⡦⠶⣚⣋⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

I miss the old Voyboy

twitchquotes: I miss the old Voyboy, SoloQ troll Voyboy. Not playing tanks Voyboy, teamfight flanks Voyboy. I hate the new Voyboy, the never rude Voyboy, family friendly streams Voyboy, the too polite Voyboy, meta slave Voyboy, this is the worst Voyboy. I miss the Curse Voyboy, Akali Nurse Voyboy, 420 burst Voyboy. I gotta say, at that time I'd like to feed Voyboy.
twitch chat
September 2016
Voyboy

League of Legends

Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!!! The fate of Earth depends on YOU! When you ignored chat and didn't place the kitty on your lap and pet it, it lead to a global economic crash and all out nuclear war!! For the love of humanity put the damn kitty in your lap now and pet it like our lives depend on it!!!!! Sincerely , Future Kripp
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing