[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

There are two types of chatters

twitchquotes: Let's get a few things straight. There are two types of chatters: Me and you. I write the "copypasta" and YOU copy and pasta them in chat. This is how it's always worked, we've got it down to a science. Ultimately it's your decision, but there is no room for indecision. So, make a choice NOW otherwise you can kiss this whole chat experience goodbye.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

My 12 year old son watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: Today my 12 year old son and I walked into harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudly asked what a 12 year old was doing signing up for such a prestigious institute like harvard. My son took of to reveal his Rick and Morty shirt and proclaimed "Well you see sir I watch Rick and Morty". A look of confusion came over the deans face and I have never been so proud. The dean quickly made sure to appologize to my son but it was too late, the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated top of his class in the first day of college.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Copyright Infringement from using Copy Pastas

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Juan Pastoroni, CEO of Copy Pasta Industries. I'd like to let you know that we've just gained copyrights on a lot of copy pastas seen in this chat. If you are using them right now, please refrain from doing so, or risk being fined under copyright infringement. Thank you, and don't be funny and copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
twitch chat
July 2014
pr0lly

Forsen's face

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢀⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⢺⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠄⠉⠉⣻⣾⣿ ⡆⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⠔⠒⡀⠄⣸⣿⣷⡄⡈⢉⠁⣠⣿⣹⣿ ⣿⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡒⢚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣟⢉⡵⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣼⣦⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠩⠁⡄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣀⡀⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⢻⣿ ⡿⠿⠛⠛⣷⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣏⡀⢀⣹⣿⠙⠟⠄⣼⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣧⡀⠄⠈⠉⠛⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡟⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣷⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈
April 2022
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing