[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Daddy, are the Spammers gone?

twitchquotes: ┻┳| •.•) Daddy, are the Spammers Gone? ┻┳|(҂`_´) ,︻╦╤─ ҉ NOPE,SON GET BACK IN YOUR BEDROOM
twitch chat
February 2016
Riot Games

My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

We are sending you to India to marry your beautiful cousin

twitchquotes: Hello Michael, this is your mother. I write here to inform you that your father and I do not approve of your timewaste playing childrens game for the internet. Therefor we are sending you to India to marry your beautiful cousin Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta and work as a train conductor..
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Furry

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠉⠻⣷⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⡶⠟⠋⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣧⣤⣄⣀⣤⣤⣾⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⢀⣠⣴⠟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⣷⣀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣦⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣾⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⢾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣰⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⡀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣻⡗⠀⠰⣛⣍⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡇⠀⢰⢧⡻⢎⠿⠆⠼⣏⠻⣣⠀⠀⠈⢻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢡⠀⢠⣶⠖⠃⠐⠂⠀⠈⠉⢉⠀⢀⡄⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡠⠒⠛⠻⣮⠈⣿⣦⡀⠰⡷⡇⠀⢀⣽⣂⣿⣇⣿⣇⠀⣀⡤⠤⢀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣞⠀⠀⠀⡀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠛⡳⠦⠖⠀⡘⣿⣿⠃⢻⣿⣿⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⢂ ⠀⢸⡟⢀⠀⢸⡇⣿⢿⣿⠟⠑⠑⢄⠀⠀⡾⠟⡏⠀⢸⠀⠃⠀⣰⡖⠀⠀⢀⢸ ⣰⠀⠃⢸⠆⢼⣷⠙⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠓⠎⠆⠀⠈⢲⣤⡄⠀⢰⡿⢃⣴⣶⣼⡏ ⣿⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⠀⠀⡾⣅⣀⡀⢀⠀⠀⢸⡄⣠⡾⠛⠉⣿⣦⡿⠇⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀ ⣿⣄⠀⠀⢀⡷⠀⠸⡇⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠙⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⣿⣦⣼⡅⠀⠀⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣶⣤⣀⣤⣾⠇⠀
July 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing