Hey, quandale Pringle here,
My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him.
My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
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Kripp and his tiny peckerwood
twitchquotes:
Omg Kripp... I remember seeing you in the hallways during school. I remember seeing your zipper down and I kept eyeing you tiny peckerwood. You always had the cutest grin. Please call me (205-069-1337) and find me. I will always love you. ~Eddy Pepperino (not wearing any panties atm).
twitch chat
Kripp
Shrek is love. Shrek is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ
Shrek
Classic
Hello crip, this is uggernakkerweer-taguanga from Thailand
twitch chat
Kripp
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iβve never heard that joke before, but itβs so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereβs a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canβt get over this joke. Iβm giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidβs Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, βI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.β I will tell my children, and my childrenβs children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iβm fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iβm gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itβs gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, βI identify as an attack helicopter.β Itβll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canβt believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iβm going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canβt believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iβm going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatβs okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonβt forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.