[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021

Eggplants appear after every word

twitchquotes: Guys 🍆 I 🍆 Was 🍆 On 🍆 Pornhub 🍆 And 🍆 I 🍆 Clicked 🍆 On 🍆 A 🍆 Link 🍆 That 🍆 Said 🍆 Local 🍆 Milfs 🍆 In 🍆 My 🍆 Area 🍆 And 🍆 Now 🍆 Eggplants 🍆 Appear 🍆 After 🍆 Every 🍆 Word 🍆 . 🍆 What 🍆 Do 🍆 I 🍆 Do 🍆? 🍆
twitch chat
August 2019

Emoji Pasta

Tricky the Clown (Madness)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⡤⠤⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠻⢟⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⢯⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠤⡀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢀⡶⠴⠞⠳⠋⢉⠽⢷⡒⢲⠇⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⠁⣄⣠⣀⣄⢀⠀⠀⠈⢰⢎⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣄⠀⢀⣀⣀⡴⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢂⡖⠤⣈⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢹⠉⠀⢧⠀⡞⢉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡋⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠈⠻⢻⠈⠀⠈⡙⠻⠛⠻⠛⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⡰⡿⠁⡤⢎⢫⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⡁⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠶⠴⠦⢤⣠⠀⠀⢤⣰⠧⢾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢸⣣⡗⠲⡋⣋⠹⢾⢙⣿ ⣿⢿⠁⠀⠡⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⣆⢰⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠁⠀⡄⠀⢸⡀⢳⡠⠻⢄⣉⣱⠝⣿ ⡏⠈⠁⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠙⡆⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣡⠀⠀⢳⣞⠛⢦⣤⣧⣼⣾⣿ ⣧⠀⢰⡇⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⣀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⢹⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣿⠀⠀⠀⢩⡿⠾⠷⠛⠉⠈⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣇⠀⠘⠓⠲⢶⣄⡴⠃⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠉⢩⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⢻⡄⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣿⠲⠞⠋⠀⢀⡜⠉⠁⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠽⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡘⢷⡿⢦⣤⣼⣣⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⣾⠿⠒⠛⠛⠒⠲⠤⣀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⣠⣾⣻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG

twitchquotes: FInals being played in MSG. Who else plays in MSG? The Knicks. Who's with the Knicks? Phil Jackson. What is Phil Jackson famous for? 3-peats. What is TSM trying to do today? 3-peat. Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG.
twitch chat
August 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico. Me Englando is ferry bad but i just wantet to zay zat i crossed the river in a rubber boot to Murica to become a pro player! One day i saw ur stream and i see how handsome and good u are. Dat day i decided i wanna become like u! Zo i killed my wife sold her, bought a rubber boat and now im here! Zank u for inspiring me! One day i become good player and pimp like u! or else rapist like unle Benni No coparoni peperoni pastarino plz!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing