[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: β€œI’m proud of you.” Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

League of Legends

Just saw Trump in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just saw Trump in a hotel and I asked if he was going to win the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while chanting β€œmake America great again” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will
twitch chat
December 2020

2020 US Election

Hold on let me fix my hair

twitchquotes: KappaClaus let me take this hat off KappaRoss dear me my hair! NotLikeThis TheThing this is worse! NotLikeThis Ahh much better Kappa
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

cannabis addiction

twitchquotes: iam a 7 year old boy with a cannabis addiction, iam in rehab and i only have lol streams for entertainment, i wish to be the best mordekaiser in ze world, can u teach me bjerg? This is my story dont copy paste plz
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

Lenny face middle finger

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘HEY [name]β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘NICEβ–‘[blank]β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–‘ ░░▀▄░░░░▄░▀▀░▄░░▄▀░░▐░░▐░░▐░▐░ ░░░░▀░░░░▀▀▀▀░░▀░░░░▐░░░░░░░▐░
March 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing