[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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NOPERS

twitchquotes: Gﮞ͞ ̶͞ ✊ ̶͞ D NOPERS Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ✊ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ͞
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January 2021

George Orwell ruined my life

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was “sexually harassing” her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021

My son can be homer sexual

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
twitch chat
January 2018

Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine

Meanwhile in Call of Duty, true gamers laugh about Battlefield's primitive physics engine. Arma was an attempt by a failing Czech developer to make Call of Duty 'more realistic'. However due to the fact that Call of Duty was already as realistic as a video game can possibly be, they panicked. They made a shameless rip-off and slapped 'military simulator' on the front. True gamers are smart enough to know this, hence why Arma averages 67 on Metacritic, whereas Call of Duty averages 98-100. Call of Duty players laugh down at players of every other game, knowing they are Call of Duty rip-offs. Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine. The world's leading video game scientists have confirmed this, so it isn't as much 'thinking' as it is 'knowing'. And Call of Duty can't possibly RIP those games off. Call of Duty was the first video game, so there wasn't anything for it to rip off.
August 2021

Call of Duty

VoHiYo

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October 2020

Weebs

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