[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Flareon is better than Vaporeon for human companionship

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
March 2022

Pokemon

Can someone explain xQc to me?

Can someone explain xQc to me? I watched his stream for the first time yesterday (always just seen him in clips) and he spent roughly 80-90% of the stream slamming his desk after he farts. Is that what all his streams are? Does he not do anything else but fart and slam all day?
June 2021
xQcOW

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much? I'm really trying to pay attention to the stream and you guys are distracting me. If you guys really cared about the quality of the stream or [insert streamer name] you would stop the spamming and copying and pasting. God, I swear you guys are the worst part of twitch. Couldn't you just try to be mature for once in your life? Everyday I come here and it's the same thing, a bunch of no life neckbeards ruining this quality content for everyone else..
twitch chat
December 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Oh, so you support your girlfriend?

twitchquotes: Oh, so you support your girlfriend? You simp. Okay Homer SIMPson. You absolute simpanzee. OOO OOO OO OO EE EE OO ๐Ÿ’ <- that is you. You are nothing but sludge . You are putrid muck given form, weakness personified. I am not sympathetic. You are simp pathetic.
twitch chat
April 2020

Simps

Billy the Puppet (from Saw)

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ–โ–โ–โ– โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing