[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
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GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!!!! 😭😭📮📮❤️❤️❤️ IM SERIOUSLY NOT LYING!!! My mom is also the impostor and she says i can meet him as long as i sign papers saying i can’t expose who he is to other crewmates 😱😱 This is so epic I will be updating and IM NOT LYING IF YOU THINK IM LYING THEN LEAVE 🤬🤬 Should I ask to report my mom cause she is sus?
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Dance party

░░┌──┐░░░░░░░░░░┌──┐░░ ░╔╡▐▐╞╝░░┌──┐░░╔╡▐▐╞╝░ ░░└╥╥┘░░╚╡▌▌╞╗░░└╥╥┘░░ ░░░╚╚░░░░└╥╥┘░░░░╚╚░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░ DANCE PARTY ░░┌──┐░░░░░░░░░░┌──┐░░ ░╔╡XX╞╝░░┌──┐░░╔╡XX╞╝░ ░░└╥╥┘░░╚╡XX╞╗░░└╥╥┘░░ ░░░╚╚░░░░└╥╥┘░░░░╚╚░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░░░░░░░░
November 2014

YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit

twitchquotes: Those plebs simply dont get it, all those who oppose YEP COCK are nothing more than a band of simpletons. YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit. YEP COCKER entering a chat is like priest of Dionysus Enorches, wielding a thyris and bearing wreath of grapevine. As the elder priest leading cultists in state of bacchic haze to sacred Eleusis YEP COCKER announces the unbridled joy of YEP COCKERY by the simple sign of YEP COCK which lets everyone forget of their quotidian struggles.
twitch chat
June 2020

Yoda and his RNG wisdom

twitchquotes: <(-_-)> greed leads to the bad rng, the bad rng leads to the frustration, frustration leads to the mistake, and the mistake leads to the dark side <(-_-)>
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Investigating criminal codenamed Forsen

twitchquotes: ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴜsᴇʀs: ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴘᴏʟ ᴀɢᴇɴᴛ ɢɪɴᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪɴᴠᴇsᴛɪɢᴀᴛɪɴɢ sᴇʀɪᴀʟ ʀᴀᴘɪsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ sʏᴍᴘᴀᴛʜɪᴢᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴅᴇɴᴀᴍᴇᴅ ғᴏʀsᴇɴ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʜᴇʟᴘ sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇɴᴇss ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜs ᴄʀɪᴍɪɴᴀʟ.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing