[Copypasta] Hey! I noticed you are fucking retarded

Hey! I noticed you are fucking retarded Hey! I noticed you are fucking retarded. I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Saying the most unfunny shit is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Fucking dumbass, mentally challenged retards do that and, you don’t want to be seen as a spastic little schizo, do you? If I catch you using shitty memes in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a report to a mental hospital. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin with, i know your white little ass is gonna get r***d in there, and you don’t want that to happen. Also everyone is going to see your shriveled up balls dangling as a big black man named Requis fucks the shit out of you. If you were to continue the use of retarded wording, I would be forced to personally come and beat the shit out of your little tranny faggit ass. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to pay a hobo to stab you to death with a razor blade. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on the server! Have a blessed (and hopefully retarded free) day, stranger.
July 2022
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More Copypastas

Giving due respect to the chat moderators

twitchquotes: Hey mods I just wanted to congratulate you all and give proper respect for keeping our chats safe from the evils of Twitch, the spammers, and sexual predators. Without you and your methods, which have no affiliation to the leading German political party within the time frame of World War 2, we would not be able to enjoy a fun, clean environment in which we can enrich ourselves with game knowledge and truly become one as a great family for the greater good of internet chatrooms. Again, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job and hope to see you all keep up the great work.
twitch chat
December 2014

MODS

Classic

10% of the playerbase end up doing 90% of the work

twitchquotes: You know what I hate? The fact that we 10% of the playerbase end up doing 90% of the work due to the "leave it to night crew" attitude. I think we need further actualization on the night counter crew if you will. Have you ever heard the phrase: life is about the journey, not the destination? I want to rally people to act in such a way to benefit the good of the stream. I don't like trolling. Its self sacrificial in nature. I am like Jesus in a sense. I troll only because of your sins.
twitch chat
May 2019
TwitchPlaysPokemon

Headphones

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August 2018

Ben Shapiro owns another Libtard

Are you a left or right wing?!”, the dark ominous figure booms. I know it’s over. “I-I’m a d-democr—“ Instantly I lose all bodily functions. I collapse to the floor, screaming in agony, spasming. The great Ben Shapiro stands over my lifeless body. “Libtard has been owned.”
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Chess is dead

Chess hasn't been updated in almost 200 years and it's obvious the devs have abandoned it. The greedy creators took your money and laughed all the way to the bank. I remember back in 705 AD when chess was fun. Then they started adding stupid features no one wanted like "Castling" and "En Passant" instead of listening to player feedback and fixing game-breaking bugs. I've been complaining for YEARS about the collision-detection glitch with the horsey. The "clipping-thru-pieces" bug has been abused to death and the lazy devs refuse to fix it. Don't support this awful behaviour and boycott this company.
February 2020

Chess

Text-to-Speech Playing