[Copypasta] I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ

I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ. Why OJ? Do you want to sound cool? Is it so much of a hustle to say orange juice? Do you abbreviate apple juice too? " Hey yeah, let me have some AJ?" - said by no one ever. I just think it sound annoying af. Edit: I don't have any issues with abbreviations, except for OJ as orange juice. Sorry if I offended some of you with sensitive feelings.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A. It has come to my attention that you brutally brofisted a small defenseless Kitten in its adorable face live on your stream moments ago. If you do not apologize and rub his little tum tum for 20 minutes on stream, I will be forced to punish you to the fullest extent of the law. You've been warned...
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Tragedy of Angela β€œMercy” Ziegler the Healer

twitchquotes: I thought not. It's not a story the Blizzard Devs would tell you. It's an Overwatch legend. Angela Ziegler was the main healer of Overwatch, so powerful and so skilled she could use her rapid healing to influence the human body to create life... She had such a knowledge of healing that she could even keep the ones she cared about from dying. The ZΓΌrich PHD is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. She became so powerful... the only thing she was afraid of was losing her power, which eventually, of course, she did. Unfortunately, she taught Jeff Kaplan everything she knew, then her developers nerfed her in her sleep. Ironic, she could save others from death, but not herself.
twitch chat
February 2018

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Overwatch

Seagull

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β—β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░▐░░░░░▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░▐░░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░▐░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄░░░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–„β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
December 2015
Kripp

Running dog

β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β•²β–•β–‹β–•β–‹β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–”β–”β–”β–†β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β–”β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β•±β”ˆβ•°β”³β”³β”³β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β•²β•±β•²β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–•β–”β•°β”β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ–”β•²β•²β•±β•±β–”β•±β–”β–”β•²β•²β•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β–‚β•²β–‚β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing