[Copypasta] I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ

I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ. Why OJ? Do you want to sound cool? Is it so much of a hustle to say orange juice? Do you abbreviate apple juice too? " Hey yeah, let me have some AJ?" - said by no one ever. I just think it sound annoying af. Edit: I don't have any issues with abbreviations, except for OJ as orange juice. Sorry if I offended some of you with sensitive feelings.
May 2022
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Trolling My Office With Among Us PART 8 (GRAND SERIES FINALE)

I was dashing around the office. Everyone looked at me weird. I was screaming, "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS!" Everyone started chanting with me. "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS! AMONG SUS! WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!" We all did the Among Us beatbox in unison. It was beautiful. Like a horse waving its mane in the air on a bright and pretty day. But suddenly I noticed; one of the kids wasn't doing the Among Drip beatbox! So I ran over to her. "Hey kid," I said, "Stop being an asparagus or whatever your dumb star signs are and be not sussy with us!" She looked at me weird and said "Whatever, old man." That was so disrespectful and SUS of her! So I put my hands around her neck and twisted her head off "Like in that one kill animation in Among Us." Everyone looked at me in horror, even the ones who were Among Beatboxing with me! Everyone was looking at me like I had just sexually abused a Syrian 4 year old refugee (which I had done before.) I said "What?" when suddenly the elevator opened. It was the CEO of Pepsi-co! I noticed the Pepsi pin on her shirt and said "When the Pepsi is sus!" because it reminded me of the Among Us crewmate .I did the sussy Among Us beatbox. You know the one? It goes; ding ding ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding! BM BM! You know the one! But, before I could finish it, I noticed; her boobs were big! I took my finger and poked her titty that was almost bursting out of her shirt. "Booba." I said. She had a face more horrified than anyone in the room, like before when everyone looked at me last week like I murdered Bosnian children. You remember that, right? She screamed "SECURITY!" Two buff men with pecs almost as big as hers and clothes so tight you could see their 12-pack abs through the shirt tackled me. I said "That's a bit SUSSY!" (Like how the guy said it in the "STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US" rant. "You're not wholesome Keanu Chungus 100 Fortnite bad TikTok cringe Minecraft & Reddit good." I said. I got out and kicked their nuts. Although they were big, (not as big as my magnum mega-cock, you know like the size of Danny Devito's?) they still cried when I kicked their nuts. "You fucking cracker-jacks! You're Tik-Tokers trying to invade Reddit!" I screamed. I dashed for the door but an alarm started blaring and steel barriers went down over the windows. I barely slid out of the door before the steel door closed under me. I heard the alarms blaring even from inside. I started running, running away trying to flee the scene. Not even half a mile away I saw a SWAT police car dash by me. It started to slow down, oh shit, they noticed me! I jumped into a nearby bush and hid, hoping he wouldn't see me. Quickly, a bunch of men fully armed with automatic rifles and heavy armor came out of the back, scoping the area around. "We can't let him get away!" I heard one of them yell. Were they talking about me? I didn't do anything sus, at least if murder, sexual harassment, and assault don't count as being sus. I stayed still, not even making a sound. A few minutes in, I heard my dickhole queef. It didn't make that much of a sound but I just barely saw out of the bush, the SWAT team start looking around. Shit. They heard my cock fart. I couldn't move as it would make too much noise. Eventually, after a while of looking, they just left. I was free. I quickly got out and ran, but making sure to run behind the bushes so I wouldn't be spotted. I eventually got into the main part of the city. The town wasn't all that big, but it was big enough for me to hide. I did it. I really did it. I had gotten away. Eventually, I made it far. Far out of town. I can't even tell Reddit where I am. It's too secret. I'm currently living a secret life in my inconspicuous location. But, this is the story of how I trolled my office. With Among Us.
April 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

cannabis addiction

twitchquotes: iam a 7 year old boy with a cannabis addiction, iam in rehab and i only have lol streams for entertainment, i wish to be the best mordekaiser in ze world, can u teach me bjerg? This is my story dont copy paste plz
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021

4House

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⣀⡄⡀⠙⠿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⡁⠄⡓⡩⠐⠚⠲⣈⡢⣈⠛⢷⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠊⣴⠖⠂⣠⣶⣷⣄⡉⠸⠧⡵⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⡁⠐⢥⡚⠑⣁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠙⠉⣳⡀⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠉⠠⣂⠔⠌⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡈⠣⠍⣶⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿ ⡂⢄⠒⠈⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠙⠒⡃⢀⠄⠙ ⠔⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠳⠄⠈⠉⠤⢳ ⣄⣤⣤⠘⠛⠛⠓⠄⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⡶⠿⠿⣷⣶⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢠⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠙⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣸⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣿⣿⣿⣯⣀⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣆⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2019

zachary is no more. there is only cock

twitchquotes: sneaky's eyelids flutter open. on one side of his bed, his beloved, lynn. on the other side, his lover, meteos. he slowly awakens to his surroundings. "...cocks," he mutters as he walks to the bathroom. "cocks," he slurs as he brushes his teeth. "cocks," he says while in the shower, hands washing all over his body. "cocks," he says as he burns his food and decides to order postmates. sneaky's life is consumed by cocks. zachary is no more. there is only cock.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky
Text-to-Speech Playing