I was driving with a friend
I grab his leg instead of the gearstick
We both laugh and I unzip his pants
I park the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends
I start sucking his dick and was about to choke on it because I'm laughing so hard
My friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO"
He then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke.
Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Six foot antlers
twitchquotes:
I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
Kripp
Reynad, I admire you because you invented all the decks
twitchquotes:
Reynad, I admire you because you invented all the decks. Thus, you invented my deck even if you never saw my deck.
twitch chat
Reynad
Are you really shitting on PokƩmon Unite bro?
Are you really shitting on PokĆ©mon Unite bro? Thatās pretty fucking cringe. This is a highly skilled game that requires teamwork. Communication. Hard work. Blood. Sweat. Tears. If your puny mind fails to see this game is all about skill then just go back to playing baby ass LoL you fucking pleb.
Don't download Discord
====ā ļøATTENTIONā ļø ====
If you see an app called Discord
DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT.
It will install a virus called Discord, and if you run it, it will launch Discord
====ā ļøATTENTIONā ļø====
Discord
RIP Joe the Spider
I know this is really stupid but Iām sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. Iām a girl who lives alone so I guess some ādudeā stuff hasnāt been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. Heās a dandy long leg. Heās been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said āyouāre welcomeā. Iām super confused. So I ask āfor what?ā He says āI just killed a big ass spider for youā.
I couldnāt even contain myself. I just yelled āYOU KILLED JOE?!ā And started tearing up. I didnāt tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. Heās a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joeās trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.