[Copypasta] Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta!

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! 😁
May 2022
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More Copypastas

Red was not An Impostor

twitchquotes: .  。    ‒  γ€€οΎŸγ€€γ€€γ€‚ γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€.     。   。 . γ€€.γ€€γ€€ 。  ࢞ 。  . β€’ . Red was not An Imposter. . . 2 Impostor remains γ€€ 。 . γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸγ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. ,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€ .γ€€γ€€ .
twitch chat
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

twitch emotes in non-twitch chats

twitchquotes: Is it just me, or do people who say twitch emotes out loud or type twitch emotes in non-twitch chats are super cringe worthy? The whole idea of saying twitch emotes out loud or typing them out rather than just doing the action that the emote describes is just dumb to me. Instead of saying/typing "Kappa", why not type "lol" or actually laugh like a normal person.
twitch chat
July 2019

i didnt fuck my cat emojified

twitchquotes: iπŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈdidn’t 🚫 fuck πŸ†πŸ’¦my cat😾. i didnt 🚫cum πŸ†πŸ’¦on my cat😼 . i didnt❌ put πŸ‘‰ my Dick πŸ† anywhere 🌎near my catπŸ™€ . Ive never βŒπŸ™…β€β™€οΈdone anything weird ❓❓❓with my πŸ’β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜»cats. I promised🀝 myself 🀞i wasnt going to make πŸ’’πŸ’’apology 😿 videosπŸ“Ή after last yearsπŸ“… thing so im just trying to be as short and honest πŸ‘ with this πŸ‘…πŸ˜Όas possible. (1/?)
twitch chat
March 2019

Emoji Pasta

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ α΄€ ᴍΙͺα΄…α΄…ΚŸα΄‡-ᴀɒᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ α΄„α΄α΄α΄˜ΚŸα΄€ΙͺΙ΄ΙͺΙ΄Ι’ α΄€Κ™α΄α΄œα΄› α΄„ΚœΙͺΚŸα΄…Κ€α΄‡Ι΄ ʙᴇᴀᴛΙͺΙ΄Ι’ ʏᴏᴜ ΙͺΙ΄ α΄€Ι΄ ᴏɴʟΙͺɴᴇ α΄„α΄€Κ€α΄… ɒᴀᴍᴇ. α΄€Ι΄α΄… α΄˜α΄‡α΄α΄˜ΚŸα΄‡ α΄˜α΄€Κ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sΚœα΄α΄œΚŸα΄… ᴄᴏɴsΙͺᴅᴇʀ α΄˜α΄œα΄›α΄›ΙͺΙ΄Ι’ α΄›ΚœΙͺΙ΄Ι’s ΙͺΙ΄ α΄˜α΄‡Κ€sα΄˜α΄‡α΄„α΄›Ιͺᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ Κ™ΙͺΙ’ ʙᴀʙʏ.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing