[Copypasta] RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Please top switching the first 2 letters of words

twitchquotes: Dear chat, please top switching the first 2 letters of words; thereby forming a new or complety bogus word. For example in the two word sentence: "MIC MUTED". I and manny others have no idea what this means because you have switched the M with M and the M with the M. This confuses me to infinity. Thanks in advanced.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Why does Kripp have the personality of an unflushed toilet?

twitchquotes: I don't get why Kripp has to have the personality of an unflushed toilet when he streams. At least when he's in mumble we can love to hate Cybrix. And a mumblebro or two spices things up. It gets old watching Kripp eat Greek food, mute his mic to kiss the succubus, and bitch about RNG.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Warrior vs warrior

twitchquotes: HEH, GREETINGS ResidentSleeper ARMOR UP ResidentSleeper ARMOR UP ResidentSleeper I can take the hit ResidentSleeper Welcome to the grand tournament ResidentSleeper TANK UP ResidentSleeper TANK UP ResidentSleeper I'M OUT OF CARDS
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

wow this chat is so immature

twitchquotes: wow this chat is so immature, i can't even imagine how you are able to live in real life. Spamming nonsense 24/7. real viewers trying to learn from the game can't focus on the players and their decisions. please stop
twitch chat
June 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

Momo 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣰⣿⡋⡴⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡖⣄⠘⢿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠂⣴⡿⡃⡜⡰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠸⢠⠸⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢀⢠⡿⡝⡌⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⡆⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡏⣸⣷⣳⣹⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⣷⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⡸⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡡⠦⣄⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⣶⣶⣦⡌⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠊⠄⢸⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⠒⠚⢛⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⢿⣿⣹⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⡶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣡⣾⣿⡕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡅⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡇⠄⠄⠘⢯⣍⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣡⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿
March 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing