[Copypasta] RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022
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Peter Pistachio

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Pᴇᴛᴇʀ Pɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʟᴅ ʜɪɢʜ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴛᴇᴀᴍᴍᴀᴛᴇ. Cᴏᴀᴄʜ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. Iғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏs ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏᴏᴛʙᴀʟʟ ғɪᴇʟᴅ ᴛᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴜs ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪᴛ's ᴛᴏ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴘʟᴀʏ Hᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ 100% ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sʟɪᴘ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs. Mᴀʏʙᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ғɪᴠᴇs ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇᴇʀs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Rᴀɪɴᴀɴᴀ. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ɢɪʀʟғʀɪᴇɴᴅ sᴛᴇᴀʟᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
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March 2014
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Thanks for backseating

On behalf of the Streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable care about this hardstuck challenger players mental state, since after 10 years of streaming he is not able to control his anger and tilt. Your contribution to helping him get over his weak mentality and becoming an untiltable champion of the top lane will never be forgotten!
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Among Us / Amogus

Barack Obama

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠋⠛⠛⠛⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢠⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⢀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠄⠄⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡈⢔⠸⣐⢕⢕⢵⢰⢱⢰⢐⢤⡡⡢⣕⢄⢢⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠂⠅⢕⠌⡎⡎⣎⢎⢮⢮⣳⡳⣝⢮⢺⢜⢕⢕⢍⢎⠪⡐⠄⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⢅⠣⡡⡣⣣⡳⡵⣝⡮⣗⣗⡯⣗⣟⡮⡮⣳⣣⣳⢱⢱⠱⣐⠄⠂⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢂⢈⠢⡱⡱⡝⣮⣿⣟⣿⣽⣷⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣗⡕⡇⡇⠄⠂⡀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢀⢂⢕⢸⢨⢪⢳⡫⣟⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡺⡮⡣⡣⠠⢂⠒⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⡂⠆⡇⣗⣝⢮⢾⣻⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣯⡯⣺⢸⢘⠨⠔⡅⢨⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⠉⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡪⡪⡮⡮⡯⣻⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⡯⣯⡺⡸⡰⡱⢐⡅⣼⣿ ⣿⠡⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠈⠆⠱⠑⠝⠜⠕⡝⡝⣞⢯⢿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣽⣷⣽⡸⡨⡪⣂⠊⣿⣿ ⣿⠡⠄⡨⣢⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠍⡓⣗⡽⣝⠽⠍⠅⠑⠁⠉⠘⠘⠘⠵⡑⢜⢀⢀⢉⢽ ⣿⠁⠠⢱⢘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠱⣁⠜⡘⠌⠄⠄⡪⣳⣟⡮⢅⠤⠠⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠈⡂⢲⡪⡠⣿ ⣿⡇⠨⣺⢐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠤⡠⡢⢒⠦⠠⠄⠄⠄⡸⢽⣟⢮⠢⡂⡐⠄⡈⡀⠤⡀⠄⠑⢄⠨⢸⡺⣐⣿ ⣿⣿⠈⠕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡐⡥⢤⣰⣰⣰⡴⡮⠢⠂⠄⠄⡊⢮⢺⢕⢵⢥⡬⣌⣒⡚⣔⢚⢌⢨⢚⠌⣾⡪⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡑⢕⢕⡯⡷⣕⢧⢓⢭⠨⡀⠄⡂⠨⡨⣪⡳⣝⢝⡽⣻⣻⣞⢽⣲⢳⢱⢡⠱⠨⣟⢺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⡅⠇⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠨⢪⢹⢽⢽⣺⢝⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢌⢎⡖⡯⡎⡗⢝⠜⣶⣯⣻⢮⡻⣟⣳⡕⠅⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠔⡑⠕⠝⠄⡀⠄⠄⠊⢆⠂⠨⡪⣺⣮⣿⡾⡜⣜⡜⣄⠙⢞⣿⢿⡿⣗⢝⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠠⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠊⠺⡹⠳⡙⡜⡓⡭⡺⡀⠄⠣⡻⡹⡸⠨⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠤⡤⡄⡆⡯⡢⡣⡣⡓⢕⠽⣄⠄⠨⡂⢌⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠆⠄⠸⡂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠈⠄⠂⠁⠙⠝⠼⠭⠣⠣⠣⠑⠌⠢⠣⡣⡠⡘⣰⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⠄⠈⡱⠄⢘⠄⡀⠨⢐⣧⣳⣷⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⡶⠄⡠⡢⡕⣜⠎⡮⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠢⠄⠨⠄⠄⠣⡀⠄⢀⢀⢙⠃⡿⢿⠿⡿⡿⢟⢋⢔⡱⣝⢜⡜⡪⡪⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠄⠡⠄⠄⠡⢀⢂⠢⡡⠡⠣⡑⣏⢯⡻⡳⣹⡺⡪⢎⠎⡆⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠁⠄⢈⠄⢂⠕⡕⡝⢕⢎⢎⢮⢎⢯⢺⢸⢬⠣⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠨⡐⠌⢆⢇⢧⢭⣣⡳⣵⢫⣳⢱⠱⢑⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⡊⢌⢢⢡⢣⢪⡺⡪⡎⡎⡎⡚⣨⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠕⡅⢗⢕⡳⡭⣳⢕⠕⡱⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠌⠄⠑⠩⢈⢂⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⢄⠄⣀⠄⡀⣀⢠⢄⣖⣖⣞⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣱⡐⡕⡕⡽⣝⣟⣮⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣽⣸⣃⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2021
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