[Copypasta] RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Evolution is sorcery made up by communists

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Pie, concerned Christian parent here, my child came asking for 4.99$ because he said he wanted to join the BDC, whatever that is. Please stop filling my kid's head with lies... I already had to tell him that Evolution is sorcery made up by communists
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

RNG in Cardstone is considered illegal gambling

twitchquotes: Dear Reynad, I am a representative of Twitch tv. I am sad to inform you that due to the random aspects of the RNG associated with soulfire's discard process this can be considered illegal gambling and you are going to be forced to stop these games immediately. Much love, Twitch tv admins. please no copypasterino al pacino greasy guido
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

I met a man named madlife

twitchquotes: Back when I was in korea, I met a man named madlife, and he came up to me and said "this is how you play thresh you young wippersnapper" and I stood up out of my chair and said "okay" and that, is how the american madlife, machinegunnerusmc was made.
twitch chat
November 2014
machinegunnerusmc

Keepo

█▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀█ █░▒▓█▄▄▀▀▀█▀▄▄▄█▓▒░█ ░█░▒▓▓▀▓▓▒▓▒▒▀▓▓▒░█░ ▄▀▄░▒▓▓▒▒▓▒▓▒▓▓▒░▄▀░ █▓█▒▒▓▒▓▓▓░░░░░▒▒█▄░ █▓▓▓▓▓▒▓▒░░░░░░░░▓█░ ▓▓▓▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░░░█░ ▓▓▓▓░░░░▄▄▄▄░░░▄█▄▀░ ░▀▄▓░░▒▀▓▓▒▒░░█▓▒▒░░ ▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▒▒█░ ░▀░▀░░░░░▒▒▀▄▄▒▀▒▒█░ ░░▀░░░░░░▒▄▄▒▄▄▄▒▒█░ ░░░▀▄▄▒▒░░░░▀▀▒▀██▄▄ ░░░░░▀█▄▒▒░░░░▒▄▀░░▀ ░░░░░░░░▀▀█▄▄▄▄▀░░░░
November 2014

Unless someone will DM me some feet pics

twitchquotes: Dear strimmer, I was thinking a lot lately about my life and my recent activity on twitch. thing is only thing that keep me in life at the moment are cute young female skimpy dressed streamers. Just wanted to tell that this is one of my last days on this already overpopulated planet. Unless someone will DM me some feet pics, those could keep me alive for a while Kappa
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing