[Copypasta] You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

I used to be a real ad
More Among Us / Amogus Copypastas

Trolling My Office With Among Us

There was a meme of a person trolling their school with Among Us. I am doing that to my office.My coworkers were working at their desks and I went up behind one of them. I yelled "When the imposter is sus!" and did the grin (from the meme) and hoped he would get it. He told me to go away so I slapped him and said "SUS! EJECT HIM!" Everybody was looking at me from throughout the office. I said "You're all impostors!" If they don't get the reference they are imposters! I ran over to the douchebag Jerry and smacked him, but he pushed me away and started calling the office. He got on the call but I got on the phone and said "HAHAHA YOU'RE A BIT SUSSY! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN" like the Among Drip theme song I ran out the door because I don't want to work with a bunch of LOSERS.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

IS THAT AN AMONG US REFERENCE??????

Did someone say sus 😱😱😱 HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’― RED IS SO SUSSSSS πŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 🀬😑🀬😑🀬😑🀬🀬😑🀬🀬😑 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜  Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS

McDonalds is trying to invade the world. I don't know if you'll believe me, but it's true. I have plenty of evidence. In the USA, a McDonalds opens every 14.5 hours. That is very much. I see Mcdonalds every time I drive my car on the road. I live in a smaller area and there are plenty of McDonalds!. Once I saw two were next to each other! I went to Big Bear to have a nice winter, but a FUCKING MCDONALDS WAS THERE. I went to another country to stay there because I always wanted to go there. No McDonalds! but there was a new problem. AMONG US! PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS, I AM SUFFERING
July 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)

The other day, it was β€œtake your kid to work day” at my dad’s job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldn’t help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, β€œIs this the Among Us but real??” My dad replied β€œNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.” As we entered the building, my dad said β€œSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.” He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said β€œDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?” However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled β€œExecutive Meeting Room”. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me β€œHey buddy, are you lost?” I noticed that his nametag read β€œHugh Johnson, CFO”. β€œDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?”, I asked. β€œNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!” He was yelling at me. So I said β€œYou’re sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have a… HUGE JOHNSON?! That’s funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!” I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said β€œWanna play some Among Us guys?” The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said β€œYoung man, go back to the first floor now!” But the sexy woman I just couldn’t listen to as I admired her. β€œNo, because you have big tits.” Her jaw dropped, and she said, β€œYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!” She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said β€œDo you like what you see?” Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. β€œI’m so hot~~~~” I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldn’t find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing