[Copypasta] You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

I used to be a real ad
More Among Us / Amogus Copypastas

My family keeps making Amongus references

It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿคฌ don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" ๐Ÿค” and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„ But then the worse part๐Ÿ˜‘ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS ๐Ÿ˜† but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฃ The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Among us crewmate with hat

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃ€โฃดโฃ†โฃ โฃคโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโฃปโฃฟโฃฏโฃ˜โ นโฃงโฃคโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ›โ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃทโฃพโฃฏโ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃพโฃฟโ œโฃฟโกโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃธโฃฟโ โ €โ ˜โฃฟโฃ†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โฃฟโกŸโ ƒโก„โ €โ ˜โขฟโฃ†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃพโฃฟโฃโฃ‹โฃˆ โฃคโฃฎโฃฟโฃงโก€โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โฃคโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃถโฃฆโฃคโฃ„โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃดโฃฟโกฟโ ›โ ‰โ ™โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ปโขฟโฃฟโฃทโฃคโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃผโฃฟโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃ€โ ˆโขปโฃฟโฃฟโก„โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃธโฃฟโกโ €โ €โ €โฃ โฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ„โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโ โ €โ €โขฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฏโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ™โขฟโฃทโก„โ € โ €โ €โฃ€โฃคโฃดโฃถโฃถโฃฟโกŸโ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃทโ € โ €โขฐโฃฟโกŸโ ‹โ ‰โฃนโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฆโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ € โ €โขธโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ นโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ƒโ € โ €โฃธโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ปโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ›โขปโฃฟโก‡โ €โ € โ €โฃฟโฃฟโ โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฟโฃงโ €โ € โ €โฃฟโฃฟโ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฟโฃฟโ €โ € โ €โฃฟโฃฟโ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฟโฃฟโ €โ € โ €โขฟโฃฟโก†โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฟโก‡โ €โ € โ €โ ธโฃฟโฃงโก€โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโ ƒโ €โ € โ €โ €โ ›โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโ ถโ €โข โฃฟโฃฟโ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โฃฝโฃฟโกโ โ €โ €โขธโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โขนโฃฟโก†โ €โ €โ €โฃธโฃฟโ ‡โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฟโฃฟโฃฆโฃ„โฃ€โฃ โฃดโฃฟโฃฟโ โ €โ ˆโ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ›โ ปโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ‹โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

IS THAT AN AMONG US REFERENCE??????

Did someone say sus ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ HOLY FUCKING SHITโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ RED IS SO SUSSSSS ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜  Where Any sus!โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ โ“ Where! Any sus!โ“ Where! โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ Any sus! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!โ“ Where! โ“ Where!Any susโ“ โ“ Any sus! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where! โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus! โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ Any sus! โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where!Where! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 7)

After we threw Liam out the window, I decided to call another emergency meeting. โ€œChad sus!1!1!!1 Heโ€™s the SUSSY VERY IMPOSTER!โ€ I said. They all asked why Chad was sus. I said it was because his name is Chad. They all agreed so we ejected him. I was naruto running around the office when Adam stopped me and said โ€œWhy are you running?โ€ OH MY FUCK DID HE JUST SAY THE FUNNY UGANDAN MEME? SPIT ON HIM BROTHERS. I spit on Adam and I pulled down my pants and pissed on him. He ran away screaming and everybody looked at me. I pulled my pants up.โ€œ Adam sus. Heโ€™s screaming.โ€ Everyone nodded and we ejected Adam. My son came out of the elevator even though it was take your kid to work day and he was supposed to be on the bottom floor, not up here on the 3rd floor! So I said โ€œSon, what the fuck nugget wholesome keanu reeves are you doing here?โ€ He closed the elevator door and I think he went to the first floor. I tried pissing on the elevator door in hopes that it would malfunction it but I donโ€™t think it worked. That stupid little bastard. So I got in the elevator when it came back up and went to the first floor. I looked around but couldnโ€™t find him. I pulled one of the kids up by her shirt and said โ€œWHERE THE FUCK IS MY CHILD?โ€ She was screaming and I threw her away. I stomped down the hallways trying to look for him but I couldnโ€™t find him. โ€œThis is not a fortnite minecraft roblox 100 wholesome keanu reeves chungus Amogus moment. Thatโ€™s pretty sus.โ€ All the coworkers were looking at me in terror. I went out back and searched in the dumpster to see if I could yet again try to find a weapon to kill all the people there. I already got rid of Chad, Adam and Liam so everyone else could easily be disposed of.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Yet Another Among Us Crewmate

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
December 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing