Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
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I want to fuck the Samsung girl
Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Guys chill with the copy pastas
twitchquotes:
Guys chill with the copy pastas. We have already read the message once, we don’t need to see it again. Some people are actually trying to send unique messages, please be considerate
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KekHands
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⠄⣠⣾⣸⣿⣿⣒⡹⠟⢛⣉⠐⢖⢃⣵⡖⠂⠒⠲⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡐⣫⣿⣿⣷⡿⣠⡻⢿⣾⣯⣶⡤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢻⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⣷⡈⠻⣿⡟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
Pepe
I'm epic gamer style
twitchquotes:
Yeah I’m not surprised your girl wants to leave you for me. Not my fault I’m fucking epic gamer style. Why wouldn’t she wanna be with me lol I have a 3.2 kd in Fortnite, backseat game in Twitch chats, and I reddit hard as fuck. Sorry for being too dope
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James Patterson plays Druid
twitchquotes:
The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
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