[Copypasta] To a horse, the world is basically Candyland

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
April 2022
Tweet by Emmett Shear, Twitch CEO: https://twitter.com/eshear/status/1509250979346063365
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017

Pepechrist emote

⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣴⣏⣹⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢟⣩⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣭⡂⢛⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣍⣛⣂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣫⣭⣷⣶⣾⣭⣼⡻⢛⣛⣭⣭⣶⣶⣬⣭⣅⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡿⢏⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⡉⠙⢿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⢻⡷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣷⣾⣍⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣁⣤⣿⢏⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣥⣾⠁⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣕⣒⠿⠭⠭⠭⡷⢖⣫⣶⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⡶⢣⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣛⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣝⡛⣿⢟⣛⣛⣁⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢛⣛⣛⣛⣙⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣭⣭⠽⣛⢻⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛ ⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣛⣶⠶⠶⠶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣶⡶⠶⣾⠟⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⡻⢮⣭⣭⣭⣭⣉⣛⣛⡻⠿⠿⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠟⢣⣬⣛⡻⢱⣇⠄⠄ ⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⠒⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⢟⣫⡥⡆⠄⠄ ⢭⣭⣝⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣿⣿⡿⢛⣋⡉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⢸⣿⣧⡅⠄⠄ ⣶⣶⣶⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠡⣿⣿⡯⠁⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2019

Pepe

A man has fallen into the river in Lego City!

A man has fallen into the river in Lego City! Start the new rescue helicopter. HEY! Build the helicopter and off to the rescue. Prepare the lifeline, lower the stretcher, and make the rescue. The new Emergency Collection from Lego City!
December 2020

Lego City

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Bear hands up

⡰⠴⠢⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢙⣐⡰⢺ ⠺⢀⡃⠋⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⠄⠠⠤⠄⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠸⣿⠟⢸ ⡤⣿⣿⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠰⠋⢀⠄⠄⡀⠤⣶⡾⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⡇ ⠑⠉⠉⠁⠅⢰⡦⠉⡙⡽⠄⠄⠜⠛⠴⠊⠄⡀⢼⣧⡀⠅⠄⠄⠄⡌⠄⠄⠄⢴ ⢰⠄⠄⠄⠘⡌⢷⡄⢁⠁⠈⠄⠄⢀⡃⣠⣾⣆⣼⣿⣧⡗⠄⠄⢰⡅⠄⠄⠘⢿ ⠸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⢄⠙⡎⡇⡦⠄⠄⠈⠹⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡇⠄⢀⣇⠂⠄⠄⣌⢸ ⠄⡟⠄⠄⠄⠰⠼⢢⡳⣄⢀⡀⠂⠄⠄⠣⣿⣿⠄⠄⡿⢱⢠⠞⠆⠄⠄⠄⠰⣾ ⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠓⣟⢰⠁⠐⠄⠄⠄⠉⠑⠄⠄⢐⠊⠍⠉⠁⠄⠄⠐⠶⣪ ⠠⢾⡈⣄⡤⠄⠄⠄⠘⠘⠑⢡⡄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡬⢗⡎ ⠄⠬⢧⣄⠖⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠰⡝⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢈⣳⣭⡃⠆⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄▄▄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠁⠄ ⡀⢐⣛⠿⠿⠛⢻⣿⢶⣰⢀⡢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄█░░▀▄⠄⠄⠁⡠⣟⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣧⣇⠊⢙⢣⡄⠄⠄⠄▀▄░░▀▄⠄⠄⢀⣙⠛⠨⡄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠿⢿⣲⠄⣁⡀⠄⠄▀▄░░▀▄⠄⠄⠐⠑⠾⢨⠆ ⠤⠖⠒⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣣⠶⠦⠷⠁⣔⡯⠄⠄▄▀░░░░█⠄⠐⠖⠋⠄⢪⠄
ascii art
March 2021
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