Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin.
Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.
I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up
I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up.
The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers.
But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian.
But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you...
BACK OFF...
This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
Maya
Simps
You guessed it right, im 12 btw
twitchquotes:
older than 11 
turning 13 in may you guessed it right im 12 btw hahAA
turning 13 in may you guessed it right im 12 btw hahAA
twitch chat
Classic
Alester Crowley
⡕⡧⡏⣞⢵⡣⣳⣕⢞⢮⡺⣕⡳⣵⣫⢷⠋⣠⣤⣂⠬⡓⢬⠢⣣⣿⢫⣶⡽⣿⡡⣋⢞⡡⣚⠤⠂⣀⠉⠚⡮⣳⣱⢭⡫⣫⡺⣜⢎⡞⡼⡽⡽⣝⠮
⣣⢯⣺⡪⡷⣝⢮⢞⡽⣕⢯⣺⢮⠗⠋⠄⢀⢐⣒⡨⠝⣚⢵⣹⡾⣱⣟⣟⡾⡞⣿⣵⣝⠪⢔⡚⠭⠅⠄⠄⠈⠓⣗⣗⡽⣕⡕⡗⡵⡝⡮⣫⢯⢷⢹
⡯⣳⢵⢽⢝⣮⢯⢯⣞⣷⡿⠞⡁⠅⠐⡀⠂⠄⠤⠭⠭⠥⣽⢟⣼⡭⣭⡭⡽⣽⣮⢿⣮⡙⣒⣒⡛⠠⠈⡀⠂⡀⠄⠳⣯⢶⡹⣪⡪⣎⢯⢾⢽⣝⢜
⡯⣯⣫⢯⣻⡼⣯⣟⣷⠛⡁⢂⠠⠈⢀⠄⠄⠂⠨⠭⢍⣽⣫⣾⣿⣿⣗⡽⣿⣞⣾⢷⡹⣯⡁⣒⠂⠐⢀⠂⠄⢂⢁⠄⡈⠻⣞⣧⢳⡣⣏⣯⣟⢮⡳
⡯⣺⣪⢗⣗⣿⣻⠏⡁⠢⠐⠐⠠⢑⠡⠨⠐⠠⢚⣩⣿⣳⣻⣿⣽⣭⣯⣭⣧⣷⣟⣟⣟⣽⣷⡲⢬⠈⠄⠎⠨⠠⡠⢈⠄⠄⠈⠹⡷⣝⣞⣾⢽⣳⢕
⣟⣞⢾⢽⣾⡿⠋⠐⠈⠄⢁⢐⠅⡣⠁⠡⠐⣈⡵⢋⠝⣩⢏⣚⡜⣜⣆⢽⢪⣎⢞⣌⢏⢯⠹⡻⣐⠊⠐⡈⠄⡁⠄⠂⠡⠈⠄⠄⠈⠻⣳⣿⣻⡽⣕
⡵⣳⣟⣿⡽⠁⠈⠄⢄⠪⡐⢌⢊⡐⢌⠂⠜⡋⠄⠅⠊⡁⡁⠋⠎⣾⢸⢸⣸⢸⡌⠎⢃⠁⡓⠉⡊⠛⢆⢂⠃⠅⠡⠨⡐⠠⠐⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣷⣻⣜
⣯⣻⣾⠏⠄⠄⡄⠕⢌⠊⡔⡢⠡⡊⠔⡡⠑⠌⠌⠌⠂⠐⠄⠁⠂⠁⠏⢺⠎⠊⠁⠐⠄⠂⠄⠡⠄⢑⠐⠠⠑⡁⠅⠨⠠⠁⠂⡀⠂⠄⠠⠈⢻⡷⣕
⡷⣿⠃⠄⠄⠌⠄⡁⡂⠌⠂⠊⠈⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⢀⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠄⡀⠐⠄⢀⠁⠠⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⠻⡵
⣿⠇⠄⠄⡈⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣖⣾⣾⣾⣾⣯⣷⣟⣾⣷⣷⣽⣼⢌⢆⢄⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡻
⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣤⣠⣶⣶⡀⣀⣀⠄⢀⠮⡾⣫⣙⠙⠛⠻⢻⢿⠿⡻⣟⡟⠝⠜⠕⠉⠂⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣄⣠⣶⣦⣀⡀⠄⢀⣴⡴⣝
⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣺⣿⣿⡧⣿⣿⣷⣲⣵⡝⠉⢀⠁⠄⡀⠄⠈⣰⡬⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠑⠄⠄⢠⠆⣛⣉⣿⣿⣷⢺⣿⣿⡆⢿⣿⣿⢿⣝⢴
⣿⡰⣶⡀⣀⣤⣼⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣻⣻⣿⣟⢿⣿⣻⠘⣟⠧⠔⢗⢔⣗⣽⣿⠄⠄⠄⠧⠰⠋⠄⣤⣷⣵⣽⣯⣯⢿⣯⢟⡾⣿⣿⡃⢸⣟⡿⣏⠮⢘
⣟⡏⣾⣇⢹⣿⣿⠽⢿⢿⢿⣟⡟⠷⠙⢝⠐⠅⢸⢨⠄⠘⢜⣘⣴⢿⢕⣿⣿⠅⠄⡇⡅⡃⡆⣰⣟⡗⡯⡫⡳⣻⠿⢙⠹⡽⡿⡓⠁⢺⣳⡟⣾⡧⢘
⡯⡪⠾⡷⢨⣛⣷⢑⠡⡁⡙⡁⡂⡂⡈⡆⢕⠅⢪⠢⡁⡂⢙⣿⢏⢊⣗⣽⣿⡏⠄⠈⣿⠮⠄⣷⡳⣝⡞⡮⡣⣣⢱⠄⠅⠉⠄⠄⠄⠘⢋⢵⡿⡋⢂
⣟⡦⣄⠈⢳⢫⢷⢱⢑⠌⡂⠐⠄⡑⡐⡘⠨⢈⠢⡑⡁⡂⠐⣝⠅⣴⡁⠙⠋⠄⠄⢀⠪⡑⠄⣿⣟⢎⢾⢙⢜⢅⢑⠄⠂⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⠪⠃⢁⣔⢮
⣪⢾⡽⡗⠄⠉⠊⠂⠌⠨⠄⠈⡐⡐⡀⢆⠑⢄⢁⠂⠄⠄⢈⢮⣺⡺⣿⣗⢤⠠⠐⠄⢌⢂⠄⢻⣝⢎⢎⢌⠢⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠠⠈⠘⢗⣕
⣣⡷⠋⠄⠄⠠⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⢔⢄⢄⢣⢑⠄⡢⣪⠪⡠⠁⢰⢻⠘⠘⡙⠉⠚⠉⠄⠐⠈⠠⠄⢸⣪⡷⣕⢔⠕⢌⠄⢀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⢲
⡗⠃⠄⠐⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡱⣳⣗⣵⣵⣿⣮⡧⠣⠄⠊⡆⡮⢯⠛⠙⠉⠙⠈⠄⠐⠄⠄⢰⡳⡻⣟⢼⢜⢔⢕⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠐⠈⠄⠄
⠁⠄⠠⠁⢈⠄⠄⠂⢀⠠⠄⢸⣿⣿⣽⣿⣯⣿⣿⢇⢯⡂⠄⡣⣪⣾⣼⣾⣿⢶⣒⠤⡁⠄⠄⣽⣯⢯⢯⣳⢝⡕⡇⡕⡠⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠂⠄⠠⠄⠄
Natalie. Fiona. Kenny. Kyle
twitchquotes:
Natalie. Fiona. Kenny. Kyle. Long ago, the four mispronounced unit names lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Twitch Chat Nation attacked. Only the DogDog, master of all pepega names , could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished.
twitch chat
dogdog
Teamfight Tactics
My e-girl e-cheated on me
twitchquotes:
My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
twitch chat