Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin.
Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.
I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)
Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
Russian Ukrainian War
Middle finger
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Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx
twitchquotes:
We are gathered here today in memorium of the Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx. In life, he demanded healing and better teammates who were not bitch idiot noob feeders. In death, he is an icon of Genji players everywhere. His legacy of epic zero-kill dragonblades and Blizzcon-worthy shuriken throwing skills have inspired a generation of one-trick DPS players in Masters and below. Perhaps what he needed was not heal bitch, or shield bitch, but a feel bitch.
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Overwatch
Don't install Talking Roby
When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called βTalking Roby The Robotβ, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words βsing like dickβ. The robot said βsing like dickβ. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldnβt move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said βsing like dickβ. I was crying in fear, βis this a nightmare?β I asked. Roby said βnoβ. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: β666β. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Donβt install Talking Roby.
Imposter broke into my house!
So yesterday I was eating with my family when all of a sudden a βcrew mateβ broke in through the front door. He had a ski mask on and a gun which was sus, but he a good skin. My father told us all to hide so we donβt get killed by the obvious imposter. I could see him from my hiding spot under the table and he looked sus. So I told my dad βDAD YOU THINK HE IS THE IMPOSTER? HE IS SUS!β I yelled as loud as I could. The imposter found us hiding and shot my father five times. The imposter was so dumb, who kills someone in front of crew mates? I ran to call the emergency meeting by grabbing my phone off the table when I heard my mother get shot and scream for me. Lol she was so bad at among us. My teammates sucked and were dying to the worst Imposter. So I called the emergency meeting and for some reason a S.W.A.T team rammed down the door and killed the imposter. Lol thatβs not how the game goes, I think they were hacking.