[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I'm gonna play this perfectly. Kripp misses lethal.

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Zamn She's 12?

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ascii art
November 2021

I strongly support Nintendo in their potential legal action against the developers of Palworld

As a huge fan of Pokemon and someone who has played my fair share of video games, I strongly support Nintendo in their potential legal action against the developers of Palworld. In my opinion, what the developers have done is nothing short of blatant plagiarism. It is one thing to take inspiration from another artist's work and add one's own unique twist on it, but what Palworld has done goes far beyond that. The game's designs, including the creatures and their abilities, are almost identical to those of Pokemon. The overall feel and atmosphere of the game are also remarkably similar to Pokemon. It is as if the developers have taken the Pokemon world and simply given it a new name and coat of paint. It is important to note that this sort of plagiarism not only harms the gaming industry, but it also hurts the people who are genuinely creative and innovate within the industry. By allowing blatant copying of others' work to go unpunished, we send a message that original thought and creation are not valued. This, in turn, disincentivizes creativity and innovation in favor of simply taking ideas from others. Additionally, using a well-known brand and franchise like Pokemon without permission is a clear violation of intellectual property rights. By doing so, the developers of Palworld are profiting off of intellectual property that they do not own. This is a serious offense that can lead to negative legal consequences if Nintendo were to take legal action against them. In conclusion, I strongly support Nintendo in their potential legal actionagainst the developers of Palworld. Plagiarism has no place in the gaming industry, and allowing it to go unpunished sets a dangerous precedent that disincentivizes creativity and innovation. It is crucial that we protect intellectual property rights and reward those who are genuinely creative and innovative within the industry.
January 2024

Palworld

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

valorant is not csgo

twitchquotes: Valorant is not csgo Everywhere I go I see things like valorant vs csgo, which is harder, which is better, which is more competitive/fun, and its confusing, yes valorant is a tac shooter, and has similar mechanics, but this is just another example of what people did with overwatch vs tf2 especially on release, it was all pointless because overwatch ISNT tf2 and valorant ISNT csgo regardless of their similar mechanics, valorant requires immensly more teamwork, and has whacky tools csgo has never seen, like stim beacon, sage’s entire kit, cyphers entire kit, sovas entire kit, breach fault line and aftershock, and EVERYONES ultimate, its never been seen before in a tac shooter, valorant isnt better/worse, harder/easier, its different, and always will be
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

CSGO

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