[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
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Hi Toast this is Mrs. Laurent - Fiora's mom

twitchquotes: Hi Toast this is Mrs. Laurent - Fiora's mom. I noticed you have been picking my girl for your team in gym class. Fiora has been having a really tough time since her dad and I split up, and I know how much it means to her. You could have been rerolling saying: "We're never taking Fiora." It warms my tired heart that you would show such kindness and give a struggling girl with a good, noble soul a chance. Bless you Toastfor never giving up on my dear little girl
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

mizkifS

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November 2021

Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Troll face

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠤⠒⢂⣉⣉⣉⣑⣒⣒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠀⠐⠒⠚⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⠉⣀⠔⠒⠉⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠈⠉⠑⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠂⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠔⠁⠠⠖⠡⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⢄⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠥⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠰⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⠈⠐⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣾⣯⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠠⠤⢄⣀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠋⠡⠐⠈⣉⠭⠤⠤⢄⡀⠈⠀⠈⠁⠉⠁⡠⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⣿⠿⠛⠛⠓⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡉⢢⠙⣿ ⣿⠀⢀⠁⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠂⠀⠒⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠔⠒⠒⠂⠀⠈⠀⡇⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠋⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⡇⣿ ⣿⡀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⡦⢄⣀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠁⢸⠀⠀⠠⠒⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⢾⡆⠀⠈⡀⠎⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣄⡈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠈⠉⠒⠢⡤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠦⠤⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠁⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢂⠀⠈⠹⡧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⢱⠒⠒⠒⠒⢖⠒⠒⠂⠙⠏⠀⠘⡀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠰⠀⠀⠁⠐⠲⣤⣴⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⣠⣷⣶⣿⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡙⠋⠙⠓⠲⢤⣤⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣦⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⢄⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠈⠉⠻⠋⠉⠛⢛⠉⠉⢹⠁⢀⢇⠎⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠈⠢⢄⡉⠂⠄⡀⠀⠈⠒⠢⠄⠀⢀⣀⣀⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⣎⠀⠼⠊⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠉⠢⢄⡈⠑⠢⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡈⠑⠢⢄⡀⠈⠑⠒⠤⠄⣀⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠤⠂⠁⠀⢀⠆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠁⠉⠒⠂⠤⠤⣀⣀⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢀⣀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

This is why I say the LCS has been going downhill

twitchquotes: This is why I say the LCS has been going downhill. They bring a TFT player onto the analyst desk for a summoner's rift game. He clearly has no idea what's going on. "Scarra" is it? Has anyone heard of this guy?
twitch chat
August 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

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