[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kripp, this is an intervention

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is an intervention. We are very worried about you. Ever since you started playing Hearthstone, you have been becoming more and more casual. We care about you very much, but we can't just sit back and watch you torture yourself. Perhaps religion may help, have you heard of your lord and savior, RNGesus?
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Viewbot #21701 reporting for duty

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid HEY MrDestructoid KRIPP MrDestructoid VIEWBOT #21701 MrDestructoid REPORTING MrDestructoid FOR MrDestructoid DUTY MrDestructoid
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Viewbots

YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN!

twitchquotes: 猝光暡鈳濃Ч PunOko 鈳犫暠猝糕帬 Squid1 Squid3 Squid2 Squid4 YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN! 猝光暡鈳濃Ч PunOko 鈳犫暠猝糕帬
twitch chat
July 2017

Weebs

Classic

I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Do you know who else didn't pet cats?

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, do you know who else didn't pet cats? Hitler. Hitler didn't pet cats. Do you want to be a Nazi too?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing