Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin.
Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.
I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Biden's America
The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers โ1โ โ9โ โ8โ and 4โ on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it.
โItโs for hunting,โ you say.
They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief.
โOne more thing.โ
You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes.
โI need to see your vaccination cardโ
It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes.
โDon't worry, it will all be over soonโ
He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your โsocialism is for figsโ shirt into your arm.
โNighty nightโ
Your world fades to black once more.
Joe Biden
Politics
I have plenty of $5 bills
twitchquotes:
Kripp how do we know you're not naked from the waist down? Also if you're not, how much would it cost to make that happen? I have plenty of $5 bills ... Just saying...
twitch chat
Reynad
Tyler can you say geodude
Hey Nairo this is your cat
twitchquotes:
Hello @NairoMK , this is your cat, Mr. Fluffers, I heard that you were complaining about my excessive meowing. I don't complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub 
twitch chat
NairoMK
Oh god I want xqc so bad
twitchquotes:
Oh god I want xqc so bad ๐ฉ ๐ฆ he's so smart ๐ค ๐ and cute ๐ ๐ I would take him to my apartment and kiss him ๐ ๐ lick him ๐
๐ and finger him 
๐ I would fuck him ๐ ๐ฆ then I'd get him pregnant ๐คฐ ๐ถ and we'd raise our own little baby ๐จ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฆ and play fortnite with him ๐ฎ โจ๏ธ xd
๐ I would fuck him ๐ ๐ฆ then I'd get him pregnant ๐คฐ ๐ถ and we'd raise our own little baby ๐จ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฆ and play fortnite with him ๐ฎ โจ๏ธ xd
twitch chat
xQcOW