[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
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You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA

twitchquotes: This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA and will pay overage fees of $20 per haHAA for the rest of this billing cycle.
twitch chat
July 2017

Moonmoon subs are the most toxic?

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twitch chat
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MOONMOON

AngelThump

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก โ ฆโฃ„โ €โฃ โ –โ ‹โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ›โขฆโฃ€โกคโ ’โ ฒโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โ Žโ €โ €โ ˆโฃฟโก…โข‰โฃฆโฃ€โฃ€โก€โก‚โขฐโฃฟโก„โ €โ €โ ™โขฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โฃ€โก โ žโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โขทโ ˜โ ›โ ƒโ ™โ ›โ ƒโ ™โ “โขโก‡โ €โ €โก€โ €โ ˆโ ‘โ ฆโข„โ € โ €โ ›โ คโ คโฃ”โขโกดโ งโ šโ ‰โ ™โขฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โ žโ ‰โ โ ‘โ šโ ขโ คโ •โ šโ โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ ™โ “โ ’โ ’โ šโ ›โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
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twitch chat
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Text-to-Speech Playing