[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Does anyone here know what Suge Knight is?

I bought a whole bunch of Suge Knight Albums, do you know who Suge Knight is? Anybody know who Suge Knight is? No, not shungite, those stupid fuckin rocks that crazy antivaxxers buy. I'm talkin' Suge Knight. Anyways, he's a popular music executive, but now in prison because he murdered somebody. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of albums. Put 'em around the la casa. Little records, stuff like that.
January 2022
DrDisRespectLIVE

Shungite

This folder is empty

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“‚ My PC------------------------------------------------------------ โ””๐Ÿ“ Forsen Sub-------------------------------------------------------โ””โš ๏ธ this folder is empty PepeHands
twitch chat
November 2018
Forsen

Classic

Kreygasm

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ– โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ– โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Lea moans over Reynad's powerful Hearthstone thighs

twitchquotes: Lแด‡แด€ ษชs แดแดแด€ษดษชษดษข แดกษชแด›สœ แด‡แด แด‡ส€ส แด›สœส€แดœsแด› า“ส€แดแด สแดแดœส€ แด˜แดแดกแด‡ส€า“แดœสŸ สœแด‡แด€ส€แด›สœsแด›แดษดแด‡ แด›สœษชษขสœs แด€ษดแด… 8.5 ษชษดแด„สœ (า“ส€แดแด แด›สœแด‡ ส™แด€sแด‡) แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€. Sสœแด‡ sแด„ส€แด‡แด€แดs แดกสœแด‡ษด สแดแดœ ส€แดสŸสŸ สœแด‡ส€ แดแด แด‡ส€ แด€ษดแด… แด›แดแด˜ แด…แด‡แด„แด‹ สœแด‡ส€. Hแด‡ส€ แดแดษชsแด› แด›แดแดแด€แด›แด sแด€แดœแด„แด‡ ษขแดœsสœแด‡s แด€สŸสŸ แดแด แด‡ส€ สแดแดœส€ แด˜แด‡แด˜แด˜แด‡ส€แดษดษชs แด€s sสœแด‡ ส€แดœษดs สœแด‡ส€ า“ษชษดษขแด‡ส€ษดแด€ษชสŸs แด…แดแดกษด สแดแดœส€ ษดแด€แด‹แด‡แด…, สœแด€ษชส€สŸแด‡ss, ส™แดส-สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แด„สœแด‡sแด›. PสŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ ษดแด แด„แดแด˜ส แด˜แด€sแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแด.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Second breakfast

twitchquotes: "Rania, where's my breakfast?" asks the Kripp. "You already had it!" she replies. "Yes, I've had one, but what about second breakfast?" asks the Kripp. As Rania walks away, Kripp is startled. "I don't think she knows about second breakfast," Kripp panics, "What about brunch, elvensies, afternoon falafel?"
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing