[Copypasta] Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

Qtpie wears a blue shirt

twitchquotes: QT, after a long time of watching your mediocre gameplay, and biting cats tails. We have always seen you in your white shirt, the only other time being black tshirt to your wedding. Why is your shirt blue? Are you trying to tell us something? Do you need help? Is this a cry of attention? We need to know QT ... Sincerely, a concerned chatter.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth

twitchquotes: High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

Anime girl 9

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣏⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿ ⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣧⡙⠻⣿⡇⣿ ⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠃⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣟⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⡦⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⡦⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⡏⣠⠄⠈⣉⡙⡻⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⡀⢀⣉⠉⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣶⠄⠄⢠⣤⣄⣀⡀⣿ ⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣠⣀⠄⢸⣿⣇⣿ ⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠾⣛⣿⣵⣿⣿⡟⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿ ⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣈⣉⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣽⣿⣿⠊⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣯⣿⣿⡇⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⣿
October 2018

Weebs

DL aka “Dropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL

twitchquotes: DL aka “Dropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL that is often ridiculed for his inability to use the summoner spell Flash. He is specifically known for his “Everyone is trash” mindset, which he only recently realized applied mostly to himself.
twitch chat
March 2020
Doublelift

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing