[Copypasta] Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022
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The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

I will now transform this human into a cat

twitchquotes: I WILL NOW TRANSFORM THIS HUMAN INTO A CAT╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆ -> -> -> Kappa Keepo CoolCat
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August 2015

Classic

xqcWar (emote)

⣿⣿⡿⠛⣉⣭⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣭⣉⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⣩⡖⢿⣿⡟⢿⣿⡿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣟⣉⠉⣶⡙⣛⣛⣛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡇⢸⣦⠀⠠⣾⣷⡞⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣧⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣍⡻⣿⣿ ⣆⠻⡷⢾⣷⣦⣴⣬⣿⣤⣤⡴⠛⠛⠻⣿⣼⣿⢇⡞⠟⠻⢿⠏⠹⠃⠛⣿⣆⢹ ⣿⠗⣨⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣁⣨⡿⠀⠐⢿⡂⢈⡁⣈⣿⡿⢰ ⣁⣈⣥⣴⣶⣦⣤⣭⣉⣉⠩⣭⣭⣴⣾⣶⣤⣤⣾⣿⣷⣿⣾⣷⣾⣷⣿⠟⣡⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠷⣌⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣶⣦⣤⣬ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⣶⠶⢶⠰⢶⡆⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⢀⡿⠀⣼⠁⠈⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠁⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉ ⢋⣉⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⠶⠖⠒⠂⠀⠐⠂⠲⣶ ⢠⣶⢀⢸⣿⣦⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠒⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠦⢠⠤⠶⠀⣰⣶⣶⣸ ⣼⣿⡆⠘⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡟⠙⢰⡟⠀⠀⠀⡀⢙⣿⢯
June 2021
xQcOW

I'm getting mighty SPOOKED over here

twitchquotes: STOP POSTING SKELETONS im getting mighty SPOOKED over here
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October 2014
imaqtpie

AYAYAYou

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣷⣌⡛⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⢿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠢⣍⡛⢌⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢡⣾⡿⠭⠝⣛⠻⠿⢿⣷⣌⡻⣷⡄⡹ ⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣷⢸⣦⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⠟⣠⡀⢡⣼⣿⣿⣦⣬⣷⣦⣤⣍⣛⠜⣿⡜ ⣿⣿⢣⣆⠻⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣁⣐⡻⠿⠄⠙⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣋⣭⣍⢩⣤⣝ ⣿⡏⡼⢏⣀⠹⣿⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⢱⣴⣿⣿⣷⣌⡻⢌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⣻⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⢦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⠖⢁⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡇⠿⠟⣋⣭⠭⣵⣾⣿⣶⡶⠾⠭⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⡿⣿⢿⢸⣿⣿ ⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⢘⣋⣍⣝⠊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣶⣃⣾⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢈⣿⣿⠃⢸⣿⣿⢣⠋⠶⠶⢊⢹⡿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢾⣿⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⠿⠛⢣⠃⠄⣠⣴⣶⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⢛⣓⠸⢟⣛⠘⣩⣶⣶⡌⡼⠋⣿⡸⡰⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣿⠿⠋⣀⣀⠄⣠⡜⣿ ⠈⠙⠂⠛⠿⠃⣩⣴⣶⣶⣦⣴⣿⣷⣱⣮⠭⠭⢔⣒⣩⡴⢚⣨⡜⣡⣾⣿⣷⠹
June 2021
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