[Copypasta] Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021

3Head

⣿⣿⣿⑿⠿⣿⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣢⣀⠈⠹Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ β „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ™β »β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β „β „β ˜β’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⑁⣀⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ Ÿβ’ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ „β ˜β ›β ›β£Ώ β£Ώβ „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‰β ‰β Ήβ Ÿβ ‰β ‰β ‰β Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β „β „β’°β£Άβ£Ώ β£Ώβ „β „β’»β Ÿβ β’ β ƒβ’€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£Ύβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ ›β „β „β’ β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣄⑀Ⓒ⣇⣼⠉⠄⠙⠋⠉⠻⠿⣿⣛⠛⠛Ⓙ⣧⣿⑿⠄⠄⠄Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β ˜β’Ώβ£Ώβ£¦β „β „β „β’€β£€β£€β‘ˆβ ‰β „β£ β£Ύβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ β „β’€β£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β‘„β ˆβ Ήβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£€β£Œβ£­β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β „β „β „β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β‘„β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‡β „β „β „β£€β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠙Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β β „β’€β£ β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£€β‘„β „β „β „β „β£€β£€β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ
ascii art
February 2019

The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head 🍷

twitchquotes: 5Head Aha, I see, i have calculated this equation of where my enemy can and will go. The numbers are almost 85.1829% chance that they will go right over my crosshair, thus leading my equation into the correct mathematical path into my favor with the proceeding 1 kill or so. The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head 🍷
twitch chat
July 2019

Running dog

β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β•²β–•β–‹β–•β–‹β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–”β–”β–”β–†β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β–”β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β•±β”ˆβ•°β”³β”³β”³β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β•²β•±β•²β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–•β–”β•°β”β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ–”β•²β•²β•±β•±β–”β•±β–”β–”β•²β•²β•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β–‚β•²β–‚β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ
ascii art
November 2014

PogChamp

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘ β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘ β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–’β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–€β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
November 2014
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