[Copypasta] Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji. I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant. 3 years later, NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
January 2022

WallStreetBets

One time my mother called me a son of a bitch...

twitchquotes: One time my mother called me a son of a bitch, so I hit her because no one talks trash about my mother, then I hit myself because no one hits my mother, she then hit me because no one hits her son and then hit herself because no one hits me, so I hit her because no one hits my mother. cant stop me
twitch chat
January 2016
Trump

These are classic hedge fund tricks.

WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF. Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it. Do not sell if you see any of these things happen: GME drops by 30% or more after hours SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions GME drops below $1 a share The Gamestop locations near you start closing GME files for bankruptcy GME is delisted from the stock exchange Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago These are classic hedge fund tricks.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

im dropping my uwus all over the place

twitchquotes: ᵘʷᵘ oh frick ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ frick sorry guys ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ sorry im dropping ᵘʷᵘ my uwus all over the ᵘʷᵘ place ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ sorry
twitch chat
July 2019

Weebs

Nyan Cat

________▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄______ _______█░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░█_____ _______█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▀▄▒▒▒░░█▄▀▀▄_ __▄▄___█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▀▄▄▄▄▀▓▓▓█_ █▓▓█▄▄█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀▄_ _▀▄▄▓▓█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▄█▓▓▓▄▓▄█▓▓█_ _____▀▀█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▒▒▓▄▓▓▄▓▓▄▓▒▒█ ______▄█░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▓▓▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▓▄▀_ ____▄▀▓▀█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██████▀█▀▀___ ____█▄▄▀_█▄▄▀_______█▄▄▀_▀▄▄█_____
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing