[Copypasta] Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia

Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia. Enter hut that isn’t belonging to. Find peasant couple. Tie to stool. After tie peasant woman, he climb top, kiss neck. Go to shithole. While criminal in shithole, peasant man say, This man escape gulag. Is probably capitalist. Is lusting of woman like other capitalist. I saw he kiss neck of the you. If he is desirous of scandalous act, resist not. Be surrender like fascists in Stalingrad. Is probably danger. If is angry, murder all. Have strength, be product. Is love! Peasant woman respond, he not is kissing neck. Is whispering in ear. He say is liking to stick schalinski in holes of men. Think you look good. Ask if we are having any lard. I told, is in shithole. Have strength, bee product. Is love too! Criminal never return. Starved at shithole due to lack of potato. Fifteen years is long time to be without potato. Peasant couple couldn’t build communism due to being tied to stool. People’s Army Patrol rescue them. Is great happiness! Then sent to gulag due to failure to build communism. Carcass of criminal also sent back to gulag, made to work. Is no mercy for traitors of the motherland.
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020

What you guys have no Szechuan sauce?

What you guys have no Szechuan sauce? I WANT SZECHUAN SAUCE! WHERE'S MY SZECHUAN SAUCE??!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!!!!!! WUBBALUBBADUBDUB!!!!!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!! REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEEE!!!!! REEEEE!!!!!!
December 2020

Rick and Morty

Patrick Star - I am back

──────────────────────── ─────────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀───── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€I─── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β”€β–€β”€β–’β”€β–€β”€β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€AM── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€BACK ────▄▀▒▒▒▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▀▀▄─── ──▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─ β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ”€ ─▀▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▀─ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────▀▀─────────▀▀─────
ascii art
August 2015
Kripp

Hey, Kripp! What's up man?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Classic

Sorry, just a fact of how I feel

twitchquotes: No I'm just not call with white supremacy y'all. It's really not that... I think a lot of you gamers are actually white supremacists. Sorry, just a fact of how I feel.
twitch chat
May 2020
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