[Copypasta] I love the McChicken

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige. One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!". Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs. I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Your social credit score has increased

中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [5] Integers. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [100] Integers. You can now have priority transport and can now get into prestigious colleges! Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citzen! Your social credit score has increased by [500] Integers. You can now take up official, government job, where we pay you high salary, unlike America. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [1000] Integers. We will ensure you get great salary, good benefits, and good social standing, no matter the means. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]Copied! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [5000] Integers. You will be famous across mainland of China, for what you are currently doing. We will make you celebrity, and even better salary. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [10000] Integers. Xi Jinping would like to meet you personally at Zhongnanhai to encourage your good work. I am sure you notice that you have gained lot of dislike recently. Do not worry. We will send re-education vans to make sure your figure is in good graces. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]
October 2021

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

Surprised face emoji D:

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⢛⣉⣩⣤⣬⣉⣉⣉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠙⢻⣷⡆⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣴⣿⣿⡄⢹⣿ ⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻ ⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⢛⣋⣉⣉⣉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣇⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼ ⣿⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣴⣤⣤⣬⣉⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠃⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⠌⠛⢛⣋⣉⣁⣸⣿⡿⠋⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⡈⠙⢿⣿⣟⣈⣉⣩⣥⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣉⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣈⡉⠉⠛⣋⣉⣉⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2019

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone 2

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: DatSheffy 📢 ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing