You are gay because you like men
I’m gay because I hate women
We are not the same
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red.
“I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.”
But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice.
She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
WallStreetBets
World War 2 in emojis
🇩🇪👨🏻🤝👨🏻🦳🇩🇪
🇩🇪👨🏻🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🦏🇫🇷👀👀
🇩🇪👨🏻🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️➡️😀😀🇦🇹
🇩🇪👨🏻😡😡👉👉🇨🇿😨
🇬🇧👨🏻🦳🙄👍🇫🇷👨🎨🙄👍
🇨🇿😵🔫👨🏻🇩🇪
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🇵🇱🤬🤬🤬🤬🙅♂️🙅♂️
🇩🇪👨🏻🤝🇷🇺👨🏻🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️⚔➡️⚔🇵🇱😯
🇫🇷👨🎨😯🇬🇧👨🏻🦳😯
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🇯🇵😵🔫🇺🇸😎☢💣
🇺🇳
Emoji Pasta
A concerned Christian parent writes to Imaqtpie
twitchquotes:
Hello Mr. 'Cute the Pie'! I am a concerned Christian parent, who caught my son Lil' Johnny watching your SMUT, and if you dont COVER YOUR DONGER IMMEDIATELY, you will be reported to the authorities! DO NOT copy and paste this!
twitch chat
imaqtpie
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Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, “Morbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, “It’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.