[Copypasta] I'm gay because...

You are gay because you like men I’m gay because I hate women We are not the same
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ban hammer

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ▄████▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ██████▄░░░░░░▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░░ ░███▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄▀▀▀▄░░░█▀▀▄░▄▀▀▄░█▄░█░ ░░░▄▄████░░█▀▀▄░█▄▄█░█▀▄█░ ░░░░██████░█▄▄▀░█░░█░█░▀█░ ░░░░░▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
November 2014

That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Yo Mama guy

⠀⣴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣁⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠣⢴⡖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣤⣤⠶⣏⣠⡤⠀⣀⠀⣀⠀⠀⣠⡄⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠉⠻⡦⠀ ⠀⣰⡏⢀⡀⠀⢠⡄⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠾⠿⡤⠟⠛⠛⠛⠳⠶⠺⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⠤⠴⠃⠀ ⠀⢾⣤⣿⢀⡀⢸⡀⣠⣿⡇⠀⡀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢞⣋⢉⡛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠁⠉⡿⠀⠈⠉⣿⠘⠧⠼⠳⠶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠟⠉⠁⠀⠁⠑⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⢤⣄⠚⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠠⣇⣴⠄⠀⢻⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⠀⢢⡆⠀⠰⠶⡶⠀⠀⠀⣾⠋⠀⡀⢻⣧⠛⠛⣦⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢿⣰⣇⢸⣇⡭⣑⡄⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⠁⢸⠇⠀⣼⣿⠀⢻⡂⠀⢸⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠈⢹⠋⠀⠈⠻⡄⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡴⠒⠉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⣸⠀⢠⣿⣿⡇⢸⡇⠀⠿⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⣡⠔⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡆⢸⣿⣿⡇⣸⠇⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣶⠂⠉⣙⣻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠷⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠛⢹⡇⣿⠀⢠⣤⠞⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣤⡞⠁⠀⠹⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⢮⣸⠏⠀⢀⡹⠂⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣅⠀⠀⠀⢹⣆⠀⠀⢠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠶⠶⠾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⣤⠀⠀⠸⣇⣀⣼⢡⣤⣤⠵⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠷⣄⠀⠀⢿⡆⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡄⢸⡇⠀⠀⠈⣿⣶⣼⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣆⠈⢷⠀⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠁⣸⡿⠘⣷⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣽⡆⠈⠛⢁⣀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⡴⠖⠛⠉⠀⣴⠟⠁⠀⣷⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣥⣿⣶⠛⠋⠉⠉⢉⣩⡭⠿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣘⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠏⠑⡶⠖⢻⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠈⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠇⠀⠈⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⡗⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠃⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠴⠞⠋⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠖⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⢈⣁⣀⣤⡤⢴⣶⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣯⣥⣤⠤⢤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing