PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Double Social Credit Weekend
‼️ ATTENTION ALL GAMERS ‼️
注意力 DOUBLE 2️⃣❎ SOCIAL CREDIT 社会信用 WEEKEND 周末 IN CHINA 中国 ❗STARTING NOW❗
START ⏯️ YOUR GRIND 研磨 ‼️NOW‼️
MAKE GLORIOUS LEADER 光荣的领袖 PROUD!
‼️ GLORY TO THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY 中共‼️
Social Credit Score
Twitch staff Golden Kappa
twitchquotes:
Twitch Staff here, one person in this channel will be randomly given golden 
in the next few minutes minutes but only if you type Kappa, good luck!
Twitch Staff here, one person in this channel will be randomly given golden in the next few minutes minutes but only if you type Kappa, good luck!
twitch chat
I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep
He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
1/1 Webspinner
twitchquotes:
Hi Reynad, I just wanted to thank you for not ruining my life. I was lucky enough to go on a date with a girl last night and she ended up wanting to ride my 1/1 webspinner. She wasn't on birth control but luckily I was able to use code TEMPOSTORM to get 100% off teenage parenthood 
twitch chat
Reynad
Hearthstone
Sodapoppin Tanner from Highschool
twitchquotes:
So you're going by "Sodapoppin" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic
twitch chat
sodapoppin