[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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This guy's DDOS is crazy

twitchquotes: โ˜‘ โ€œThis guy's DDOS is CRAZY!โ€ โ˜‘ โ€œMy ISP can't win against a DDOS like thatโ€ โ˜‘ "He NEEDED precisely this IP to win" โ˜‘ โ€œHe used the only DDOS site the that could beat meโ€ โ˜‘ "He had the perfect programโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œThere was nothing I could doโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œI streamed that perfectly"!!!
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January 2015

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner

twitchquotes: Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me :)
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Surprised face

โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ
March 2015

Red was not An Impostor

twitchquotes: . ใ€€ใ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ขใ€€ ใ€€๏พŸใ€€ใ€€ใ€‚ ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€‚ใ€€. ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€‚ใ€€ เถž ใ€‚ใ€€ . โ€ข . Red was not An Imposter. . . 2 Impostor remains ใ€€ ใ€‚ใ€€. ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€๏พŸใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ .ใ€€ใ€€ .
twitch chat
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Omg imagine an xD spam in this font

twitchquotes: OSkomodo ๐“ธ๐“ถ๐“ฐ ๐“ฒ๐“ถ๐“ช๐“ฐ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฎ ๐“ช๐“ท "๐”๐““" ๐“ผ๐“น๐“ช๐“ถ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ผ ๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ฝ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ฝ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ต๐“ญ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ช๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ผ ๐“ฏ๐“พ๐“ฌ๐“ด ` ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ต ๐“ด๐“ฎ๐“ด OSkomodo
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February 2016
Dota Major
Text-to-Speech Playing