[Copypasta] Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Only way I can feel safe

twitchquotes: When I'm ready to go to sleep I grab my laptop and get in bed. I open my laptop, go to Kripps youtube, turn the brightness all the way up and watch the video with the laptop screen close to my eyes. When the video is done I close my eyes and can still see Kripps face while I go to sleep. It's the only way I can feel safe.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017

The Manny Will Not Be Televised

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠸⡆⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⣹⣿⠧⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⣠⠴⠶⠶⠆⠀⠟⣉⣍⡛⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⡏⠰⢇⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⠷⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⡞⠋⠉⠙⠗⠀⠰⠽⠿⠅⠀⠀⠘⠒⠚⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⣆⠀ ⢸⡇⠛⠙⠃⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡿⠀ ⠀⠙⠒⠒⢺⡇⠙⣝⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⢻⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⣶⣶⣶⢶⡶⠶⠶⠤⢤⠤⢤⠤⠤⠤⢴⠶⠚⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠋⣀⣉⢙⣇⣀⣀⣀⣼⠀⠸⣄⣀⣀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⢠⡞⠿⣽⡿⢉⡿⠋⣀⠉⡉⠻⣄⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⢦⡀⠷⢿⠀⣾⠁⣸⠃⡶⢘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⡈⠉⠉⢋⣙⣻⠵⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Oop gotta sign a petition
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July 2020

deIlluminati

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠭⠽⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠗⠒⠓⠾⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠛⠚⠋⠁⠓⠲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣋⡈⣘⢉⢁⣈⠑⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣽⢞⣂⣁⣀⡄⣭⣉⡑⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣶⣭⣿⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣌⣉⡚⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⡯⠋⠍⠀⠈⡉⠊⢉⡽⢛⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⡾⣟⠲⠛⠆⠈⠉⠉⠩⢿⣧⣔⣺⣼⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⢿⢁⣉⣤⣤⣶⣦⣴⣤⣴⣰⣽⡿⣞⣭⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣟⣱⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⠰⣻⣿⣟⣿⣟⡷⣟⢾⣷⣯⣗⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡷⣿⣿⡿⣙⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣽⣿⢱⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⣭⣙⠌⠩⠓⠃⠡⠙⠻⠿⠿⠽⠛⢁⠁⢚⣿⣾⣷⠿⡛⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣰⠲⡌⠣⠌⣁⠂⠠⠀⠂⠀⠤⢤⢤⢐⡒⠽⣋⣋⠮⠥⡒⢏⣛⣩⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⡽⣯⣉⡳⠀⠄⠌⣄⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣊⡭⠵⠖⠒⢪⣍⣙⣦⣤⡽⢧⠀ ⣰⣟⡷⡆⠽⣃⢉⡐⣂⠄⣁⠐⠀⢂⢐⢀⠓⡐⢒⡚⣇⢉⣫⠡⠭⢲⡾⣛⣾⡆
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September 2020

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
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