[Copypasta] Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)

Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Fortnite default dance 6

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣶⣀⠿⠶⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⣿⠿⠿⠿
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Hello Imaqtpie! I was wondering how small streamers...

twitchquotes: Hello Imaqtpie! I was wondering how small streamers such as you (I dont mean to be rude or anything) look up to huge and successful streamers such as Lee "Faker" sang-hyeok?
twitch chat
February 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Leper gnome into the Twisted Nether

twitchquotes: "Yᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ɪs ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ.” Fᴏʀsᴇɴ sᴀɪᴅ, ᴀs ʜᴇ sʟɪᴘᴘᴇᴅ ʜɪs ғᴇᴍɪɴɪɴᴇ ʜᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ Tʀᴜᴍᴘs’s ᴘᴀɴᴛs ᴀɴᴅ sᴍɪʀᴋᴇᴅ. “Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏᴘ-ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ᴍᴇ?” ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇsᴛs Tʀᴜᴍᴘ, ᴀs Fᴏʀsᴇɴ ʙʟᴜsʜᴇs, ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏɪsʜ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴜɴᴅʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ. “Wᴇᴀᴋ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏ, Fᴏʀsᴇɴ.” Tʜᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴋɪssᴇᴅ, ᴅᴇᴇᴘʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀssɪᴏɴᴀᴛᴇʟʏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀғᴛᴇʀᴡᴀʀᴅs Fᴏʀsᴇɴ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇs ʜɪs ʟᴇᴘᴇʀ ɢɴᴏᴍᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘs's ᴛᴡɪsᴛᴇᴅ ɴᴇᴛʜᴇʀ
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

This the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos. It is with great pain that I have to ask you to leave my country. Everyone is afraid of the "very casual looking man" with the "perverted fists." I am sorry but you're not welcome here anymore. No Copopolous Pastopolous Linguinoristopoulos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing