[Copypasta] Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The red bean character is very suspicious

Ok, so I was playing the hit game Among Us the other day, and when the game started, a red bean-shaped character that appeared to be wearing a spacesuit told me "shh," while having his index finger in front of where his mouth should be. I believe this act made this red bean character extremely suspicious. To understand why this red bean character is suspicious, we first must understand how the game “Among Us” works. The game consists of 10 bean-shaped characters, called crewmates, that are given tasks for them to complete. As these characters do their tasks, they may witness abnormal things that are not supposed to happen, such as the lights turning off on their own, sudden reactor meltdown and other crewmates dying. These acts show that there is an imposter among the crewmates that is sabotaging and is trying to kill everyone. Now why is this important to determine why the red bean is suspicious? Well now we know how the game works, now we must analyze the red bean’s actions. At the beginning of the game, the red bean tells us “shh” while having his index finger in front of where his mouth should be. This action suggests that the red bean wants us to be quiet, or keep our mouths shut. Now why would the red bean want us to do this? This could be because the red bean wants to limit our communication in order to prevent us from spreading information. What information does the red bean want to prevent from spreading? We can assume that the reason why the red bean wants to prevent us from spreading information, is because he is actually the imposter, and he is planning on committing the crimes mentioned earlier. He does not want others to find out about actions he will cause, therefore he does not want us to communicate with each other. This concludes the reason for why I believe the red bean from the hit game Among Us is suspicious. So if you happen to see a red bean-shaped character wearing a spacesuit, please be careful.
January 2024

Among Us / Amogus

Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Dreaming about forsen

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢸⢟⣛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⣶⣶⡆⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⡿⡽⠿⠾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢸⣧⣤⢴⡦⣽⣿⠃⢀⣀⡒⠯⠄⢀⢀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣧⠄⠚⢿⣧⣅⣀⣤⣔⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣷⢸⣿⡿⣻⠿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣄⣀⣸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣅⣤⡦⠦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⡉⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⡯⢸⣿⠿⢿⣿⣏⣉⢙⣒⣿⣿⢿⡿⠃⠛⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⢋⣭⠍⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠸⠋⠄⠄⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡿⣛⡭⠌⠁⠊⢠⣿⣟⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣦⣄⣤⣤⣤⣀⣤⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶ ⡇⢿⣰⠏⢀⣾⢆⣽⣛⣼⣦⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡘⢿⣤⣿⣵⡟⣸⣿⠿⠃⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣛ ⣿⣧⢺⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⣠⡔⣘⡻⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⠉⠉⠛⠒⠿⠿ ⣿⣿⣧⢿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢴⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⠿⣛⣩⣶⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⠿⠘⣿⣿⢿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2020
Forsen

Bro, you MASHING right now!

twitchquotes: Last night, I dreamt I was the head chef at an Italian restaurant, and a notoriously-picky food critic was waiting for his meal. I was terrified. His review would make or break my career as a chef. I spent an hour cooking up the best pasta I had ever made, and brought it out to his table. But the moment I came up to him, he turned to me and shouted "Bro, you MASHING right now!" I was stunned. It was NairoMK. I woke up in a cold sweat.
twitch chat
November 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

World War 2 in emojis

🇩🇪👨🏻🤝👨🏻‍🦳🇩🇪 🇩🇪👨🏻🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🦏🇫🇷👀👀 🇩🇪👨🏻🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️➡️😀😀🇦🇹 🇩🇪👨🏻😡😡👉👉🇨🇿😨 🇬🇧👨🏻‍🦳🙄👍🇫🇷👨‍🎨🙄👍 🇨🇿😵🔫👨🏻🇩🇪 🇩🇪👨🏻🤝👨🏻🇷🇺 🇩🇪👨🏻😡😡👉👉🏙🇵🇱 🇵🇱🤬🤬🤬🤬🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️ 🇩🇪👨🏻🤝🇷🇺👨🏻🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️⚔➡️⚔🇵🇱😯 🇫🇷👨‍🎨😯🇬🇧👨🏻‍🦳😯 🇫🇷👨‍🎨😡🇬🇧👨🏻‍🦳✌⚔🆚️⚔👨🏻🇩🇪 🇵🇱😵🔫👨🏻🇩🇪🤝👨🏻🇷🇺 🇫🇷😵🔫👨🏻🇩🇪 🇬🇧👨🏻‍🦳✌🚢 🇬🇧👨🏻‍🦳😘😘➡️😳😳♿🇺🇸 🇯🇵😑🛫🛫💣💣➡️🇺🇸♿😯😯😭😭 🇺🇸♿😡😡🇬🇧👨🏻‍🦳✌⚔🆚️⚔🇩🇪👨🏻🇯🇵😑🇮🇹👨‍🦲 🇩🇪👨🏻⚔🆚️⚔🇷🇺👨🏻😯😯😡😡🔥🔥🔥 🇷🇺👨🏻😘😘😘➡️🇺🇸😳🇬🇧😳 🇩🇪👨🏻😵🔫🇺🇸😎🇷🇺😎🇨🇦😎🇫🇷😎 🇯🇵😵🔫🇺🇸😎☢💣 🇺🇳
July 2021

Emoji Pasta

Text-to-Speech Playing