[Copypasta] Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I can't wait for you to be our new maid

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie is Reginald Dinh here. I'm messaging to offer you a spot on my team. I think you'd fill the role very well, to be honest I don't know anyone in the scene who is better equipped. I can't wait for you to be our new maid.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

you can't chat. Its not a chat.

twitchquotes: Relatively new to twitch and I am confounded by twitch chat. It is just full of spam emojis. You can't ask questions, you can't have conversations, nothing. It all scrolls away so quickly to stupid face pics posted 15 times in a row.Its not really a chat. Chat involves atleast two people speaking to each other. This is just everyone spamming face emojis over and over again.What is the point of spamming the face emojis? It completely ruins chat; you can't chat. Its not a chat.
twitch chat
February 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers

twitchquotes: OMG this guy is so wrong. As a longtime sub and donator, I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers. When I send them donos they thank me personally on stream so I'm pretty sure they know who I am haha
twitch chat
June 2020

Simps

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Silence Liberal

โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€
ascii art
February 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing