MASTURBATION NOTICE
It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy
The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties
The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this
Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal
If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities
Thank you for your cooperation
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
NA ULT LUL
twitchquotes:
Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
Classic
Overwatch
Slap Chop commercial script
Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! Youâre going to be in a great mood all day, because youâre going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look hereâs a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you donât have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- thatâs why you donât have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
Youâre going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now youâre going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this youâre going to have an exciting life now.
Look hereâs a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and youâre going to love this. You donât have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
Youâre going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isnât that beautiful on your ice cream.
Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo
twitchquotes:
Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo. My Skills Are Getting Stronker And I Wish To Join Team "TMS". My Land Has Endured Many Harsh Winters And My Cow Died Last Fall. I Am How You Say, "Hard In A Place," And Am Looking to One Day Be Best At Heartstone For My Mother Says I Have The Heart Of The Carderinos.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
DL aka âDropped Liabilityâ is an ex-ADC player for TL
twitchquotes:
DL aka âDropped Liabilityâ is an ex-ADC player for TL that is often ridiculed for his inability to use the summoner spell Flash. He is specifically known for his âEveryone is trashâ mindset, which he only recently realized applied mostly to himself.
twitch chat
Doublelift
League of Legends
I've always been a DC fan
twitchquotes:
(sponsored spam) I've always been a DC fan (I guess you could say Fanboy LOL) but after watching Kripparrian play Marvel Future Fight, I gotta say, I'm HOOKED! Featuring iconic characters like Black Panther and Thanos, I gotta say, I'm pretty damn interested in this game. Thank you Kripparrian!
twitch chat
Kripp