[Copypasta] Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣴⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⢻⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣷⣤⣤⡆⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠇⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠀⣰⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2019

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

This is the Totemic Might police

twitchquotes: ◥·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿◤ This is the Totemic Might police, you're coming with us Reynad. ◥·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿◤
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

MoonMoon subs in all my streams spamming emotes

twitchquotes: Fucking MoonMoon subs in all my streams spamming these stupid fucking emotes. I swear they're all 12 year old kids who subbed to this goofy ass mother fucker (who's not even good at the game, just a decent tank player who gets carried) with their mom's credit cards they stole. If I see one more goddamn purple face I think I'm going to scream. My AGDQ chat experience has been ruined time and time again by these spammers and frankly, I'm getting tired of it.
twitch chat
August 2017
MOONMOON

Mario Party Superstars Bowser Miss Sticker

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⢟⣽⣿⢰⡝⣍⡻⣿⠟⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣊⡛⢍⣪⣥⣟⠗⢏⣼⣿⡟⢱⣮⠙⠛⠉⠠⣄⠀⠀⢧⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⢈⡉⠉⠓⠲⠖⣻⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡃⠀⠘⠋⠀⠀⠶⠆⠈⢫⣎⡞⣩⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣭⣭⣝⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⢠⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡀⠀⢟⡜⠿⣜⠟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠇⢀⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠇⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡆⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣮⠻⢛⣋⡵⠀⢆⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡹⣽⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠘⠇⠀⠀⠀⠙⠁⣼⣿⣯⢉⠙⢿⣿⡇⡀⠻⠧⢀⣠⣤⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢫⣮⣙⡻⠿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣦⢄⣴⣶⢦⣄⣴⣶⣿⣿⠧⡀⢀⢸⣿⡇⢁⣬⣾⡸⣿⣿⡎⠀⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣆⣀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣄⠀⢀⢸⣿⡸⢿⣧⠻⡿⣎⠑⠃⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣮⡛⠿⣿⣿⠇⠙⠛⠉⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠈⠛⠽⠆⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣝⣳⢲⡦⠀⠀⠀⠈⢲⡎⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⡹⣂⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⠿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣠⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡛⠿⣿⡷⠏⣅⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣬⣭⣍⢻⡿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⡿⢷⣟⣭⣭⣵⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⡸⡟⡀⢻⡟⢻⡟⣛⣻⡟⣛⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣇⢡⡇⢸⡇⢸⡗⠆⣹⡗⠆⣹⡗⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing