[Copypasta] There was nothing I could do but donate

twitchquotes: ☑ “These Hafu nudes are CRAZY!” ☑ “My dick can't stay limp against nudes like that” ☑ "She NEEDED precisely those two nips to win" ☑ “She took the only nudes that could make me beat off” ☑ "She had the perfect muff" ☑ “There was nothing I could do but donate” ☑ “She cried profusely"
twitch chat
October 2014
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020

Yearly dongers supply

twitchquotes: ヽ ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Did you know: Most dongers—78 percent of the yearly dongers supply—is made into fedoras. Other industries, mostly electronics, medical, and dental, require about 12 percent. The remaining 10 percent of the yearly dongers supply is used in financial transactions. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

It seems you've tarried Mrump

twitchquotes: Do you take Rania to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asks the priest. Kripp smiles as he slips the ring on her finger. "Yes I do," he says, squinting in the glare of a foggy day. The priest says, "You may kiss the bride." as the crowd cheers. Kripp lifts Rania's veil and recoils in horror. Trump smirks, "It seems you've tarried Mrump."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

President's Day Emoji Pasta

ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! 🚨🚨🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸time to hop onto that founding father dick🍆🍆🍆👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻or should i say founding DADDIES!!!😩😩😩🙌🙌👅👅💦💦 out here tryna get rammed from behind 🍑🍑🍑🍑harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMORE☄️☄️⛰🏔🏔george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh ❄️❄️🌬winters🌬❄️❄️ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets🌪💑❓❓❓be the monica Lewinsky 🙋🏻to my bill clinton🙋‍♂️ baby and i wont deny i had 🍆🍆♋️sexual relations♋️🍆🍆 with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs💸💸🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️✍🏻send this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES👸🏼🇺🇸🇺🇸👸🏼who will throw the nastiest neck🍆🍆😩😩🙌🙌🌬💦 on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY😊😊💙🚨❤️ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight🐱🐱💦💦🙌😩😩😩😩😩🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
February 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

President's Day

Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)

Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

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