[Copypasta] There was nothing I could do but donate

twitchquotes: ☑ “These Hafu nudes are CRAZY!” ☑ “My dick can't stay limp against nudes like that” ☑ "She NEEDED precisely those two nips to win" ☑ “She took the only nudes that could make me beat off” ☑ "She had the perfect muff" ☑ “There was nothing I could do but donate” ☑ “She cried profusely"
twitch chat
October 2014
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Amazed Face

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ascii art
August 2018

Thijs please remove wisp from your deck

twitchquotes: Hey Thijs. Its the G2 director here. We kindly ask you to remove wisp from your’e grandmasters deck. We are G2 not clown, i mean Cloud 9 and we expect the people representing us to take things serious and not make a joke of our orginazation. We know you are aware what said in the contract and we expect change as soon as possible.
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

When will TSM play next?

twitchquotes: Hey guys! I've only recently started watching msi, and I have grown attached to the team known as "TSM". The only problem is I don't have access to a schedule of the msi fixtures. Could someone please let me know when TSM play next? For I would love to watch them again. Thanks! EleGiggle
twitch chat
May 2017
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

Peter Pistachio

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Pᴇᴛᴇʀ Pɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʟᴅ ʜɪɢʜ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴛᴇᴀᴍᴍᴀᴛᴇ. Cᴏᴀᴄʜ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. Iғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏs ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏᴏᴛʙᴀʟʟ ғɪᴇʟᴅ ᴛᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴜs ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪᴛ's ᴛᴏ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴘʟᴀʏ Hᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ 100% ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sʟɪᴘ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs. Mᴀʏʙᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ғɪᴠᴇs ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇᴇʀs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Rᴀɪɴᴀɴᴀ. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ɢɪʀʟғʀɪᴇɴᴅ sᴛᴇᴀʟᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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