[Copypasta] There was nothing I could do but donate

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static

March 2021

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

twitch chat

April 2019

5Head

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠄⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⢿⣿ ⣿⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⣿ ⡟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄ ⣇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡇⢠ ⣿⡀⠈⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⣀⠄⠄⣾ ⣿⣧⢠⣖⣀⡀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣤⡶⢿⣿⡄⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⢿⣦⣬⣙⣒⡤⣌⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣚⣭⣴⣶⣿⡟⣼⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣬⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡹⣯⣿⠿⠦⠬⣭⣭⣥⣼⠾⢿⣿⡿⠟⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡙⢷⣯⣭⣭⣭⣭⣽⣿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⠛⠛⠟⠛⢛⣡⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

ascii art

March 2019

On March 21st, 2016 Jerma was streaming Overwatch

On March 21st, 2016 Jerma was streaming Overwatch when suddenly he felt an overwhelming sense of dread. Moments later, Ster (who was hiding behind the curtains) snuck up behind Jerma, and after a short struggle, Ster stole Jerma's hat, saying "I'm you now." Jerma died. At that point the camera footage was frozen, but it later returned to Ster pretending to be Jerma.

March 2022

Jerma985

Overwatch

Whisper solemnly into the dark. 'kripparrian'

twitchquotes: ｗａｋｉｎｇｓｕｄｄｅｎｌｙ．ｉｆｅｅｌｃｕｍｉｎｍｙｄｉａｐｅｒ．ｉｗｈｉｓｐｅｒｓｏｌｅｍｎｌｙｉｎｔｏｔｈｅｄａｒｋ． 'ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｒｉａｎ．'

twitch chat

March 2014

Kripp

[Copypasta] There was nothing I could do but donate

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

5Head

On March 21st, 2016 Jerma was streaming Overwatch

Overwatch

Whisper solemnly into the dark. 'kripparrian'

Confirm Subscription