[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
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More Copypastas

I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021

Auto-Pay feature

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

My Chat Experience

twitchquotes: BibleThump ᕗ MY CHAT EXPERIENCE ᕕ MingLee ᕗ ᕕ Kappa ᕗ ᕕ cmonBruh ᕗ ᕕ ANELE
twitch chat
February 2016
Riot Games

Plague doctor / Black Scourge Singed

⣿⣿⣏⢴⢏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢹⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠜⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿ ⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣷⣞⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣧⠾⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣤⣴⣦⣶⣾⣿⡦⠤⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⠖⠒ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⡀⣀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⡃⠀⠀⡇⡜⠉⠙⠛⠓⠒ ⣿⠛⣹⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠐⠈⠙⢲⡊⡹⠳⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀ ⣿⣷⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡵⣁⣀⡀⠀⠉⠉⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⣇⠀⠀⠉⠓⠲⢤⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣬⡀⠙⢲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⣿⠟⣻⢿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠙⠢⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⣮⣯⣾⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠳⡄⠀⠀⠘⣦⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠙⢲⠀⠀⠈⢳ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣆⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠙⡆⠀⠀⠀⠘⠷⢄
March 2021

Coronavirus

League of Legends

COVID

DMCA is here guys

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ DMCA is here guys
June 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing