[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
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I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
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twitchquotes: COPY PrimeMe THIS PrimeMe GEM PrimeMe TO PrimeMe HELP PrimeMe TSM PrimeMe
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My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
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Hey Moon it's your dad, Steve

twitchquotes: Hey Moon it's your dad, Steve, I just wanted to know if you have anything to tell me bud? I noticed you've been hanging out with Lassiz a lot and just wanted to let you know those feeling are fine. Your bodies changing and you may start getting funny feelings for other boys. Just remember to use protection and be safe. I'm proud of you bud.
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Nothing is complex for me

twitchquotes: Nothing is complex for me. I figured out flat earth when everyone on the planet was either bought into the lie or supporting it. I am a borderline genius as tested at 10 years old I am sure the number would be much higher now since I have increased my intelligence over the years. I am right you are wrong, it really is as simple as that. The DEVIL is in the details.
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Text-to-Speech Playing