[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said sheโ€™s going to go find a boyfriend. I donโ€™t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFTโ€™s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning ๐ŸŒ„, masculinity ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ is NO ๐ŸšซโŒ LONGER ๐Ÿ“ LEGAL ๐ŸŒโš–. If you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ are masculine ๐Ÿ‘ด, please ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™‡โ€โ™‚๏ธ report ๐Ÿ“„ to your ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ nearest ๐Ÿ’ž Femboy ๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ Education ๐ŸŽ“ Center ๐Ÿขโœˆ, clean-shaven and wearing ๐Ÿ‘•๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿ‘ž thigh-high socks ๐Ÿงฆ. Those who fail ๐Ÿšซ to follow ๐Ÿ‘ฃ these orders ๐Ÿ“‘๐ŸŽ WILL BE CANCELLED โŒ๐Ÿšท๐Ÿ˜ก.
December 2020

Muffet from Undertale

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
March 2016

Mimikyu

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃคโกคโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃพโฃฟโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โฃ โฃพโฃฟโกŸโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โขธโ ›โ ‰โขนโ ƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โก โ „โ  โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โก˜โ €โ €โ €โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โ –โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โฃพโฃฟโฃฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โก‡โ €โ €โ €โขกโ „โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โ Šโ €โ €โ €โ €โก โ žโ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โขƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ —โ šโ ‰โ ‰โ €โ ˆโ โ €โ €โ €โข€โก”โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ ธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃดโฃถโฃ„โ ฒโกŽโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ ƒโ €โ €โข โฃคโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ €โ ˜โก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โก†โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ›โ ‰โฃดโฃ†โขนโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โฃ‡โขฐโกงโฃ‰โก‰โ €โ €โข€โก€โ €โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โฃฟโกทโข โก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โขปโ ˜โ ƒโ ˆโ ปโขฆโ žโ ‹โ ™โ บโ ‹โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โขกโ Ÿโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ณโข„โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ โขฒโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โก†โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃคโฃดโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกฐโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฟโ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ƒ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โกžโ โ €โ €โฃพโ €โ €โฃถโ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฆโฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ›โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ โ € โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โกฐโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ €โ ˆโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ›โ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ ฐโฃฎโฃ‰โฃ€โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ปโฃฟโก‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ปโ ฅโ คโขคโฃถโข„โ €โข€โฃ โฃ„โ €โ €โข โฃถโฃคโฃ„โ ˆโ ‘โก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ โ ˆโ ‹โ โ  โ โ €โ ˆโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
November 2020

Pokemon

60 fps is too smooth

twitchquotes: Who cares! It is a scientific fact that the human eye cannot tell the difference. In fact i'd argue that 60 fps looks worse. 60 fps is too smooth, it's like petting a shark, the scales (frames) are too smooth so it cuts your hand (eyes), while 30 fps is nice and stable and gives you a better immersion because the frames travel a longer distance so the world looks bigger
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Moonmoon do it for yourself

twitchquotes: Jesse, listen. We all have trials. We all have difficulties. We all have these moments where we think maybe we can't overcome the obstacle right in front of us. But we know we can. We know better. Victory is within our reach. Success is within your reach. Don't give up. You will become the boshy. Do it for Eddie. Do it for Chat. Do it for Cloud. Most of all, do it for yourself.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON
Text-to-Speech Playing