[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
https://www.reddit.com/r/CryptoCurrency/comments/smpah0/wife_wants_to_leave_me/
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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twitchquotes: Every day rushing through my head, like a river that only runs red, Every night when I lay in my bed, I remember every word that you said, I try to stop myself from thinking, And yet I find myself sinking, Deeper and deeper, your lies blinking in my mind, Crushing the only inkling of hope I never knew I could find, On and on these horrible thoughts I can't stop myself, Pulled out of my head like some kind of deranged shelf, I just had anal sex with a gay elf
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PepeRip

⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠹⠟⣡⣶⡿⢟⣛⣛⡻⢿⣦⣩⣤⣤⣤⣬⡉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⢮⡃⣛⣛⡻⠿⢿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⢡⣴⣯⣿⣿⣿⣉⠤⣤⣭⣶⣶⣶⣮⣔⡈⠛⠛⠛⢓⠦⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠏⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡪⢛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡭⠴⣶⣶⣽⣽⣛⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⣛⢛⡛⢋⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠱⣿⣿⣛⠾⣭⣛⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠑⠽⡻⢿⣿⣮⣽⣷⣶⣯⣽⣳⠮⣽⣟⣲⠯⢭⣿⣛⣛⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠈⠑⠊⠉⠟⣻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣭⣿⣛⠷⠶⠶⠂⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠙⠒⠙⠯⠍⠙⢉⣉⣡⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
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