[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
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I sexually Identify as your mom

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as your mom. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of cooking for your father and you and fuck your father and make you more sisters. People say to me that a person being your mom is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. im gonna marry your father. From now on I want you guys to call me " Mommy" and respect my right to cook food and fuck your father. If you can't accept me you're a mommyphobic and need to check if your mom is still alive. Thank you for being so understanding
twitch chat
September 2019

I sexually Identify as

YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE KAWAII TRUCK

YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE |^^^^^^^^^^^^](ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ | KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___. |_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] | ”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@    ⊂(゚Д゚⊂⌒) NO KAWAII TRUCK NO!!! MOTHERFUCKER ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT EIGHT FUCKING KAWAII ASS PEOPLE! IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU’LL KNOW YOU'RE REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BREAK THIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOU'LL BE CURSED WITH UNKAWAIINESS AND SHITTINESS FOR 9000 YEARS SO PASS IT; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII.
October 2021

Weebs

Anime

forsenCoomer

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡹⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⠋⠄⠄⣀⣴⣶⣦⣀⣿⣿⠿⢟ ⣿⣷⣬⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣯⠄⠄⣼⣿⣟⠙⢻⣿⠈⣴⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣯⠍⣫⡭⠉⠻⢿⣿⣧⢻⣮⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠿⢚⣱⣰⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠅⡀⠟⣱⣿⠿⠸⣿⣿⣧⡄⣤⡜⠛⣿⣿⣤⣀⣾⢘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⠖⣶⡇⣾⢏⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣥⡉⢳⣆⠈⠛⠿⠟⢃⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢟⠶⣣⣾⣿⢇⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣙⣛⣛⣃⡺⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠓⢁⣾⣿⡟⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡹⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⣸⣿⡿⢏⣈⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿ ⣿⢃⣿⢛⣤⣾⣿⣿⣦⣍⡛⠟⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣧⠘⣿ ⡟⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⣿ ⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢏⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢤⣶⠄⣿
December 2020
Forsen

Emote

40% of the chat are 41 year olds pretending to be 14

twitchquotes: This chat disgusts me. 40% of the chat are 41 year olds pretending to be 14. The other 40% are 14 year olds pretending to be 41. And the remaining 30% just copy pastes the longest message they can find in the chat. Grow up chat, grow up. FailFish
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Hey Kripp this is your new fan Edward!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is your new fan Edward! I've never heard of you before but I just finished watching your HILARIOUS #FAIL video and I can safely say that it was one of the funniest and most erotic videos I have ever masturbated to in my time. Please keep making them so that my left arm will continue to grow stronger every day also BTW I am left handed
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing