My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT.
I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her.
I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said sheβs going to go find a boyfriend.
I donβt know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate.
We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling.
I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw.
Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFTβs moon. She will come crawling back.
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More Copypastas
Monitor always grey, need you to fix
twitchquotes:
βοΈπ 
HELLO? Computer repairman?? βοΈπ This is QT βοΈπ Monitor always grey βοΈπ need you to fix
HELLO? Computer repairman?? βοΈπ This is QT βοΈπ Monitor always grey βοΈπ need you to fix
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imaqtpie
League of Legends
You will never be Japanese
You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of natureβs perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually itβll be too much to bear - youβll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. Theyβll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
Weebs
Szechuan sauce at McDonald's
"Hey, do you guys have szechuan sauce?", I ask the low IQ minimum wage slave. "N-no, sir. We just ran out", he muttered. I was overcome with a primal rage. I jump on the counter, screaming "I'm Pickle Rick!β. The 200 IQ crowd chanted in unison, βWUBBALUBBA DUB DUBβ whilst beating their chests towards the cowering worker. I put my shirt over my head and let out the purest REEE to show my devotion to Rick. Everyone else REEEs as well. Yes, my brothers, let it all out. The manger comes in and calls the police, he doesnβt understand the mature and intellectual nature of our cries. We Naruto run to the next McDonalds store as we search endlessly for that sauce.
Rick and Morty
THIS IS PETA DONT MOVE LISTEN UP
twitchquotes:
THIS IS PETA DONT FUCKIN MOVE LISTEN UP I KNOW YOU'VE KILLED TWO DOGS YOU TERRORIST PEPPERONI SCUM. PUT YOUR DONGER WHERE I CAN SEE IT ΰΌΌ βΜΏΔΉΜ―βΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½=/Μ΅/'ΜΏ'ΜΏ ΜΏ ΜΏ
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imaqtpie
ASCENDED invisible spam
twitchquotes:
ASCENDED invisible spam ββ ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β 
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