[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

American Test Passed

twitchquotes: βœ“ Obesity βœ“ πŸ’₯πŸ”« βœ“ Laziness βœ“ Stupidity βœ“ 🌡 βœ“ McDonald's βœ“ Donald Trump βœ“ $70k College βœ“ Bad healthcare βœ“ Bad food βœ“ Bad music βœ“ Fahrenheit βœ“ Pounds βœ“ Inches βœ“ AMERICAN TEST PASSED
twitch chat
September 2015

Classic

EU vs NA

your streams lately have really helped me

twitchquotes: hey [streamer], your streams lately have really helped me with my depression, bleakness, dejection, distress, sorrow, my car trouble, my 401k, my grades, my slimp dick, my underperforming AMD driver, the armenian genocide, the galloping campaign, the war in the vietnamese, oh god they are in the trees, the battle of antietam, the housing crisis of 2008, the bankruptcy of greece in 2015, the explosion of chernobyl, my late grandma denise
twitch chat
December 2020

I wore a mask at Target today

I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.
June 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings

twitchquotes: Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings after this game, there seems to be an issue with the stream. The colors of the video fade and entire screen goes gray every 30 or so seconds
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I like spamming copypastas

twitchquotes: I like spamming copypastas. It's my favorite activity. When they're dank, I think to myself "yes". When they're removed, I think to myself "no".
twitch chat
January 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing