My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT.
I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her.
I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend.
I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate.
We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling.
I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw.
Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
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COCKtober emojipasta v3
forsenX WutFace
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Forsen
Chug jug with you (lyrics)
We got a...
1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!)
Ten kills on the board right now
Just wiped out Tomato Town
My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound
Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
He said..
"Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?"
"I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP."
"Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari."
"I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet."
"There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!"
I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend.
I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer!
Cool.. pro.. Fortnite?
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2
La, lA AUGHH
La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?)
Pro Fortnite Gamer..
Can we get a win this weekend?
Take me to Loot Lake!
Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate!
Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone!
I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone!
Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro!
He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack!
I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale..
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
Fortnite
Ben Shapiro ordering pizza
Hello, is this Pizza Hut?
Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.
Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.
Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.
Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.
Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.
And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.
Ben Shapiro
A boy asked a girl in a library
twitchquotes:
A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"? The girl Answered with a loud angry voice; "I don't want to spend the night with you!! All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed. After minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said to him I study psychology and I know what man is think, I guess you felt embarrassed,right? The guy responded with a loud voice :$300 for one night That's too much!! and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, "I study law and I know how to make someone guilty.
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