[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
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More Copypastas

Twitch is banning users who don't post in chat

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch Warning: As an anti-AFK measure, Twitch is randomly banning users who don't post in chat often enough. To avoid being falsely banned, please copy paste this message periodically to remain active. Thank you for your understanding. ————————————————————————
twitch chat
June 2019

You are NOT a closer

It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.
August 2021
ludwig

Super Smash Bros

Flareon is better than Vaporeon for human companionship

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
March 2022

Pokemon

I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece!

twitchquotes: I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece! It perfectly encapsulates the spirit of 2018 and the super funny memes we had this year such as fortnite dances, baby shark, dame tu cosita, k pop, and more! I especially like the part with everyone jumping out of the bus in the sky! That was so cool it looked so real. Thank you YouTube for making my year and reminding me of the awesome funny memes!!!
twitch chat
December 2018

NaM

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣍⠁⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡩⣍⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣴⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢷⣝⣞⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣧⠛⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠦⠄⠄⠄⠉⠂⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣴⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠋⡉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⡉⠄⢹⣿⡀⠐⠂⢁⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⣀⣥⣦⡾⠄⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⡀⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠄⠂⠛⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣾⣿⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠸⣿⣼⡏⠁⠄⠘⢻⡛⢓⡛⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⠏⠃⠄⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢻⣾⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣽⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣈⠙⢉⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2018
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