[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Type !69 to activate

twitchquotes: ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ imGlitch You've been gifted a sub. Type !69 to activate ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
twitch chat
July 2020

NA, aka 'No Achievements'

twitchquotes: NA, aka 'No Achievements' is the weakest region in the professional League of Legends scene. They are specifically known for their clown fiestas and never winning anything worthwhile in the history of League of Legends.
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Intelligest response to "Who asked?"

What if somebody did ask, huh, what then? I'm sure they were quite satisfied with the answer. But you, no, you cannot for the life of you find a way to somehow think about what someone else thinks or feels. When you imply that nobody asked, you're talking solely about yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you. Try to find the simple joys of life instead of wasting perhaps the best years of your life away, sitting in your shit smeared, cheeto dust covered, cum bespeckled ergonomic office chair. Maybe start working out, think about somebody other than you, secure yourself a date, anything will work, so long as you get the fuck outside and stop asking "who asked" every 2 fucking minutes, because quite frankly nobody asked for your opinion as well. You're but a speck of extra stinky shit in a pile of manure, that's all the significance you have in this world, but you can change that with 4 simple words: Shutting the fuck up. Thank you and have a good day
November 2021

Who Asked?

Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets

twitchquotes: Pedestrian: i want to give a shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing