My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT.
I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her.
I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said sheโs going to go find a boyfriend.
I donโt know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate.
We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling.
I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw.
Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFTโs moon. She will come crawling back.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
i am currently trapped in 800 SR bronze
twitchquotes:
moon i am currently trapped in 800 SR bronze my mains are Torbjorn and Bastion (I'm a huge defensive player, you know, a good defense is a gooder offense) but my team refuses to play around me and sometime even report me. Why elo hell is real??? How do you overcome adversity and become top 500? Thanks you for your time 
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Overwatch
My boss recently discovered Among Us
Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
Among Us / Amogus
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
Among Us In Real Life Song Lyrics (Emojipasta)
AMONG ๐ณ US ๐
ฑ๏ธ IN ๐ฑ REAL ๐ต LIFE ๐ฉ SUS ๐ฎ SUS
AMONG ๐ณ US ๐
ฑ๏ธ IN ๐ฑ REAL ๐ต LIFE ๐ฉ SUS ๐ฎ SUS
PLAYING ๐ AMONG ๐ US ๐ก IN ๐ค REAL ๐ค LIFE
SPACESHIP ๐ WITH ๐พ MY ๐
CREW
GOTTA ๐ฅท๐ฟ SPLIT ๐ UP ๐คก SPREAD โ๏ธ OUT ๐ฎCUZ ๐ WE ๐ ALL ๐ GOT ๐ฏ TASKS ๐ป TO ๐ฝ DO
GOTTA ๐ฟ FIND ๐บ THE ๐คง IMPOSTER ๐คซ AS ๐ THEY ๐ TRY ๐ฟ TO ๐ถ SA๐
ฑ๏ธOTAGE
WHO ๐ฎCAN ๐
ฑ๏ธ WE ๐ซ๐ท TRUST ๐ IN ๐คช THIS ๐คฏ AMONG ๐คญ US ๐คฃ ENTOURAGE.
Emoji Pasta
Among Us / Amogus
IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?
โผ๏ธHOLY FUCKING SHITโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐กWRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo!๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ ๐ฟ Oh youโre approaching meโโโโโโโโโโBut it was me, Dioโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐