[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said sheโ€™s going to go find a boyfriend. I donโ€™t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFTโ€™s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Seoul Dynasty is just winning because...

twitchquotes: Seoul Dynasty is just winning because they go up against easy teams. Itโ€™s boosting their win ratio. They should go up against better teams to really show how good they are. Iโ€™m not calling them bad. I just want to clarify why they seem so good, even though theyโ€™re not.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

New banger (from r/conservativerap)

Aye ๐Ÿ˜‚ Yuh ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘€ Uh ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜ค Skrrrt ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿค” I ๐Ÿ‘ hate ๐Ÿ˜ก people ๐Ÿ‘ซ who have a different ๐Ÿ˜ก skin ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‘ color ๐ŸŽจ from me (x32) instrumental ๐ŸŽบ break ๐Ÿ’” I ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘€ hate ๐Ÿ˜ก๐ŸŒš people ๐Ÿ‘ซ who have a different ๐Ÿ‘€โ“โ‰ skin ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‘ color ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ from me (x32)
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. Iโ€™ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but weโ€™d always threaten to move tables so heโ€™d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Likeโ€ฆeven after class weโ€™d ask him about that stuff and be like โ€œdude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,โ€ and heโ€™d always look at us like we were crazy and say โ€œwhat the hell are you talking about?โ€ Iโ€™ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021

It was a real life gamer girl

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. โ€œfuck, Fuck!โ€ I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. โ€œPlease,โ€ I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest Iโ€™ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?
August 2021

Simps

Classic

Both dudes

twitchquotes: (โ€ฟห โ€ฟ) _(โ€ฟห โ€ฟ) only the chosen one can fist both dudes . โŽ KappaPride โŽ 
twitch chat
October 2018

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing