[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said sheโ€™s going to go find a boyfriend. I donโ€™t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFTโ€™s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
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I'm already Tracer

twitchquotes: โ“ Maybe Iโ€™ll be Tracer ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ โ— Iโ€™m already Tracer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ โ” What about Widowmaker ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ โ• Iโ€™m already Widowmaker ๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’ฏIโ€™ll be Bastion ๐Ÿค– ๐Ÿšซ Nอ˜อžEอžอ Rฬทอ˜FอŸ อžอ BASอžฬขTฬงอขIOฬขNอŸา‰า‰ โšฐ๏ธ ๐Ÿคท Youโ€™re right; so, Winston ๐Ÿต๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ ๐ŸŒ I wanna be Winston ๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ I guess Iโ€™ll be Genji ๐Ÿฑโ€๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ˜ Iโ€™m already Genji ๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ’€ Then Iโ€™ll be McCree ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ซ I already chose McCree ๐Ÿ•›โ˜ ๏ธ โœ‹ I have an idea ๐Ÿ™‹ โ“ Whatโ€™s your idea? ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ™Œ You should beโ€” ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿฆถ ๐Ÿ™… Iโ€™m not gonna be Mercy โ€ผ๏ธโœจ
twitch chat
November 2018

Emoji Pasta

Overwatch

Copyright infringement of copypastas

twitchquotes: TWITCH CHAT, this is the POLICE. We have heard rumors that you have been performing illegal actions, such as copyright infringement in this stream. You must cease your use of these copy(righted)pastas immediately or you will be arrested for your crimes. Internet piracy is NOT a victimless crime, and you WILL be punished.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Time is tickling

Time is tickling โฐโฐ SEND ๐Ÿ’Œ๐Ÿ“ฒ this ๐Ÿคณ to TEN (๐Ÿ”Ÿ) FESTIVE FREAKS ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ•บ if u get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ BACK your a ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜ STUFFED STOCKING SLORE ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿงฆ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜ณ get 5๏ธโƒฃ BACK and ur a ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ˜ˆ Horny Xmas Ham ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿท๐Ÿคช๐Ÿชต๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜ but if u get 0๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ˜ต u got a ๐Ÿ”ฅ DRY C๐Ÿ…พ๏ธAL CUNT ๐Ÿง†๐ŸŒต๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿฅฒ๐Ÿ‘
December 2023

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Amogus Army

๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘€ "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜‚ His joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took him a total of like 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. ๐Ÿคฌ What's that? His joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. He outsmarted you, nitwit.๐Ÿคญ In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment ๐Ÿ˜. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฒ. WOW! ๐Ÿคช Another reference I had to explain to you. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคญ I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚
October 2021
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