[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone?

twitchquotes: What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone? Credit Card.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Rania came to the wrong dongerhood

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD, RANIA ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Surprised anime face

⣿⣿⣿⡉⢀⣾⣿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⡗⠄⣼⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠄ ⣿⡻⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄ ⠷⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⣼⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣒⣲⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠯⠊⠙⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⣴⢾⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢽⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣛⣻⠿⣟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃ ⣿⣿⣿⡎⣷⣽⠻⣇⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣵⣿⣟⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠱⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⢮⣚⡛⠒⠛⢛⣋⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣱⠿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣺⢿
November 2018

Weebs

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger. Since then I have been circumcised every 6 months. My foreskin is now stronger than steel. When I am in danger, I pull it over my body like an outer shell. It is fully bulletproof, fireproof, waterproof and extremely lightweight. I have plans to sell it as a highly rare, resistant material and make millions. Brigades will be made out of beams of foreskin, and police units will wear foreskin vests.
August 2021

This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing