[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hello this is Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you be quiet for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that video game tournament. Peace out!
twitch chat
June 2019

Tanner from High School

-15 LP Delivery

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–Œβ–β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆ BEEP BEEP β–„β–„β–„β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆ -15 LP DELIVERY β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–Œ β–€(βŠ™)β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€(βŠ™)(βŠ™)β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€(βŠ™
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

League of Legends

Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Bees fly anyway bUrself

twitchquotes: bUrself According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. bUrself
twitch chat
April 2016

Patrick Star

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–’β–’β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€
July 2015
Text-to-Speech Playing