[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Can you guys critique my portfolio? New investor looking for guidance

Not sure if this is the best place to post this but I just inherited 1.5M from my distant uncle and want to make him proud. Right now my portfolio I have: 10% LUCK 20% SKLZ 15% CPW 5% PLTR 50% PAIN and 100% R.TO (RTN) is this an ok for a beginner looking for conservative annual 37% gains?
March 2021

WallStreetBets

IS THAT AN AMONG US REFERENCE??????

Did someone say sus 😱😱😱 HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’― RED IS SO SUSSSSS πŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 🀬😑🀬😑🀬😑🀬🀬😑🀬🀬😑 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜  Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

Just give me one more NAIR

twitchquotes: BabyRage BabyRage I've come to declare BabyRage BabyRage Every night I give prayer BabyRage BabyRage Please lord if you care BabyRage BabyRage Just give me one more NAIR BabyRage BabyRage
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

I can’t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, β€œDo you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. β€œDude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. β€œFortnite?” Then another. β€œYeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with β€œwhere we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say β€œTilted Towers!”
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing