I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Summoning Kripp
twitchquotes:
γ½ΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½οΎ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp γ½ΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½οΎ
twitch chat
Kripp
I keep seeing people posting the same message
twitchquotes:
Guys this is awkward, sorry I have to point this out. I keep seeing people posting the same message within very short periods of time, causing the auto scroll function to go crazy. Could you please follow the chat history more closely before you post and make the chat experience more pleasant for everyone? Thanks 
twitch chat
Horrible attack on my privacy
twitchquotes:
Dear Mr Morosan, I was unaware of the fact that upon subscribing to your channel full of top notch casual gameplay, my personal rights would be violated. I did not ask to be "fisted". I hereby demand a public apology and a stack of OJ cartons as compensation for the psychological scars this horrible attack on my privacy has caused.
twitch chat
Kripp
You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?
Youβve π‘π¨ seen ππ€π
π» Miku on π stage, 4οΈβ£π but π what ππΌ about π₯΄ your 
wrist? βπ― Wrist βπ― World π is an AR game π― using π wristbands, now π« featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even β save π¦ the world! π Do π You ππ¦ Wrist βπ― World? π wrist βπ― world πππ
wrist? βπ― Wrist βπ― World π is an AR game π― using π wristbands, now π« featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even β save π¦ the world! π Do π You ππ¦ Wrist βπ― World? π wrist βπ― world πππ
Emoji Pasta
GME stock and WSB vs short sellers
Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles.
Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches.
Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of.
That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.