So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down.
So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise).
But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Burger King tweet thread: women belong in the kitchen tweet
Women belong in the kitchen. If they want to, of course. Yet only 20% of chefs are women. We're on a mission to change the gender ratio in the restaurant industry by empowering female employees with the opportunity to pursue a culinary career. #IWD - We are proud to be launching a new scholarship programme which will help female Burger King employees pursue their culinary dreams!
I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime
twitchquotes:
I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime. Like, they didn't choose to be born with an IQ of 20 in a home with unloving parents. Imagine all the bullying they must experience at home, at school, and at the special services daycare. Let's stop bullying them, guys. They may be too retarded to understand that's what we're doing, but that doesn't mean we should pick on them. Thank you
twitch chat
Weebs
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
FOR THE HORDE tank
β β ]βββββββ ............βββ
ββββββββββ
βββ ...........βββββββββββββββββββ] ...........β₯ββ²ββ²ββ²ββ²ββ²ββ²ββ€FOR THE HORDEOMG you're so FUNNY so quirky
ππOMG π youβre so FUNNY π€£ π€£ so quirky ππ π€ͺ so different π€©absolute crackhead energy π€ͺπ€ͺ comedic geniusπ§ π I literally canβt β breathe π iβm crying dude ππ that was so hilarious π u really got the whole squad laughing π¨βπ©βπ§βπ¦ππ©βπ©βπ¦βπ¦ππ¨βπ¨βπ§βπ¦ high IQ comedy π§ π§ howβd you come up with that π§π really original work π never seen π or heard π anything like that before π π π great π job ππ keep up the funnies ππ€£π i love you π π youβre my inspiration π€©π€©π€© if only i were as funny π or smart π€ or cool π as you π but its whatever Iβll continue to watch πππ your content π₯π€³ because it βNEVER EVERβ fails to make me laugh ππ thank you π for existing π and doing what you do β€οΈβ€οΈ