[Copypasta] So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

I play Mister Yie in League of Heroes

twitchquotes: That's it noobs, come play me in a game of League of Heroes. I main with the hardest warrior - Mister Yie. I will build full wiji first so you know I'll be able to tank no problem. After that, I will build a Infinite Ledge and score so hardcore attack speed. That's right - I will be victorious
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

Having to call a judge β€œyour honor” is so cringey (found on /r/unpopularopinion)

β€œYour Honor”. I mean gimmie a fuckin’ break, dude. What else do you want me to call you? Your highness? Do you want me to fondle your nuts while I blow you, too? I’ve seriously seen courtrooms where they’ll say β€œSir” and the judge will be like β€œIt’s β€œYour Honor” young man!!” Fuck off. How much of an egotist you gotta be to care about some medieval-ass title? Use β€œSir” like everybody else. It’s some LARPING I’d expect kids to do. β€œOh Billy you have to call me supreme ruler snorlax the magical wizard!!1!” Shut up. EDIT: I’m literally 22 and have never been in front of a judge, y’all, please relax and slow down with the theory crafting/ story writing. EDIT 2: A lot of people are saying β€œit’s just a title, like Doctor!”. Judges have a title like β€œDoctor”, it’s called β€œJudge” - Doctors don’t expect us to call them β€œThy Healer” or some crap like that.
August 2021

Undertale Annoying Dog

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March 2016

Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

neverlucky

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