[Copypasta] So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
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PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK

twitchquotes: EZ DrinkPurple PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK 3 can: DrinkPurple I can easily stack 3 of these stupid cans, even 4 DrinkPurple And that is absolutely none of your business.I can DrinkPurple stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. EZ 4 ME DrinkPurple.
twitch chat
March 2019

This guy's appendicitis is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis guy's appendicitis is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œMy appendix can't win against an appendicitis like that” β˜‘ "He NEEDED precisely that appendicitis to win" β˜‘ β€œHe topdecked the only appendicitis that could beat me” β˜‘ "He had the perfect infection" β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing I could do” β˜‘ β€œI played that perfectly"
twitch chat
October 2017
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Troll Face 2

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–„β–‘ β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–Œ ░▐▓▒░░▄▒▒▓▄▄▒▒▒░▒▄▄▄▒▒▓ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ░▐▓░░░░▒▒▓(◐)β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“(◐)β–’β–“ β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€
September 2016

Team Solo Mid

β–’β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–„β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
January 2015

League of Legends

Ben Shapiro ordering pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut? Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. Andβ€”look, it’s just a factβ€”I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not. Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from β€œYou racist creep” or β€œIs that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded β€œtoilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah. Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this β€œOur pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty β€œFuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet. Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film β€œ300,” I will kick you. Onions, peppersβ€”no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zoneβ€”when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style. And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.
August 2021

Ben Shapiro

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