[Copypasta] So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021
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More Copypastas

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
March 2021

Hey, kripp! ¿Qué pasa, hombre?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! ¿Qué pasa, hombre? Es Jeff de la clase de Historia del último semestre. No sabía que eras una especie de celebridad famosa hahahaha. Batirme, hombre. Por cierto, ¿alguna vez te uniste a Brian? Él era un niño de T H I C C. XD Eres un perro así. Es genial verte de nuevo. ¡Golpéame en algún momento!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 3

We had a school assembly today, and the speaker was talking about bullying. The speech was pretty boring, but there came a point in his presentation where he said "I know there are some students among us who have been subject to bullying." Honestly, I couldn't believe my ears. I thought, "There is no way the speaker just said Among Us." I decided to troll the speaker by standing up and yelling "When the imposter is sus!" while making a huge grin (just like in the memes). To my surprise, no one laughed. Everyone fell dead silent and looked at me. The speaker said "I'm sorry, what was that?" I decided to explain to everyone what I was talking about, and said "Get it guys? It's from Among Us." Still, no one understood the reference. I turned towards my friend Caleb (I know him from band), and said "You get it, right? It's from among us!" However, he had his head buried into his lap. I looked at my friend Dalton (He plays the trumpet in band, just like I do), and yelled "Dalton, do you get the joke????" He didn't even make eye contact. Suddenly, the assistant principal came up behind me and said "Please sit down, this is a school assembly." I screamed back at her "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY?? MORE LIKE EMERGENCY MEETING!" I then naruto ran down to the stage, pointed at the assistant principal, and said "SHE'S SUS!!! I SAW HER FAKE A SCAN IN MEDBAY!" Still, no one laughed. I then said "I'm not the imposter, I was in vents the whole time!!" (referencing a meme). No one understood the reference. I saw people whispering to each other, but no one laughed. I then made a face resembling the "big chungus" meme, and said "You guys don't get it?? That's not very Wholesome 100." When I realized no one was laughing, I yelled "Don't any of you guys use reddit?" The audience was dead silent, until someone yelled "Sit down!" (which was very rude and not wholesome) I pointed back at him and shouted "You're breathtaking!!" I don't think anyone got the joke becaude no one laughed, so I said "Do you guys know who Keanu Reeves is?" No one responded, which is kind of cringe because I thought that at least SOMEONE would know who Keanu is. I ended up getting escorted to the principal's office and getting suspended for a week, but in my opinion, it was totally worth it. I trolled EVERYONE. I'm gonna forever go down in Reddit history. I also realized that there aren't any redditors at my school (which is very cringe in my opinion).
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Memes are a very important issue that we face everyday

twitchquotes: I'm here to speak with you about a very important issue that we in the LoL community face everyday, memes. Memes are infiltrating our ranked queues. Memes are infiltrating our in-houses. Memes are raping our mothers and killing our fathers. The World Health Organization has traced the source to a subset of extremely toxic streamers. This group of streamers is led by the one called imaqtpie. If you ever come in contact with imaqtpie, please do a 360 and moonwalk away from his stream. Unfollow and unsubscribe. If you do this, we may still have a chance. I dream of a future where LoL is played in parks and playgrounds, in office and student lounges, and even in the bedroom, completely free of memes. Please support our cause and no pasterini
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Stop posting useless stuff in chat

twitchquotes: Cᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴜɴɴᴇᴄᴇssᴀʀɪʟʏ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴘᴏsᴛs ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ? Tʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɪs ᴛᴏ ᴛʀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀɪᴛ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ. Wʜᴀᴛ ɪғ ᴡᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛɪɴɢ ᴠɪᴇᴡs ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴜsᴇʟᴇss sᴛᴜғғ? Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ I ʙᴇɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ᴛᴏ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴏɴsᴇɴsᴇ.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing