So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down.
So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise).
But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
AMOGUS (youtube video)
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢠⣦⡀⣤⣠⡄⢠⠦⡄⣠⠤⠀⣤⠀⡆⣤⣶⡀⠀⠈⠻⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠟⠻⠃⠏⠉⠇⠸⠶⠋⠻⠾⠇⠙⠒⠃⠘⠾⠃⠀⠀⢀⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠦⣀⣶⡶⠀⢤⣠⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⡲⠶⣶⣤⣔⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠃⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⠤⠄⠀⠀⢀⡈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡟⠀⠸⠦⣠⠘⠁⢨⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠃⠀⠑⠤⠤⠔⠚⢥⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡇⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣧⣀⡀⠉⣻⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Among Us / Amogus
I hope you enjoy being tucked
twitchquotes:
The year was 1999. A much younger trump was getting ready for bed when his mother entered the room. "Sweetums, it's much past your bedtime!" she chides. Obediently, Trump climbs into bed. As his mother lovingly lays the covers over him, she whispers "I hope you enjoy being tucked."
twitch chat
Trump
Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino
twitchquotes:
Hello Gino "No Cappuccino" Pastarino here. I see you are using one of Reynad's copyrighted decks. You must pay...wait you are Reynadarino climbing ladderino? My badarino. Please forgivarino Lord Reynard. I give much love. Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino like you did last time-arino. With no cappucino Love, Gino Pastarino
twitch chat
Reynad
forsenScoots
⠄⠄⠄⣸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠼⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⠄
⠄⠄⣰⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣥⣤⣀⣀⣀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷
⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠛⠛⠛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣶⡆⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⢿⣆⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣄⠐⢾⣧⠄⣀⣤⠙⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿
⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣭⣙⣫⣭⣤⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣦⡀⠘
⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠙⠛⢷⡈⢻⣷⠄
⢀⣠⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠺⣇⠄⢀⣠⢻⡄⣿⣿
⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⣾⣿⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠉⠉⠉⣠⣿⣿⣿
⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠷⠦⠈⠉⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
⠄⣠⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠿⢷⣄⡹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁
⠄⢉⣿⡏⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣶⣦⣌⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠉⠁⢸⣿⣧⣄⡉⠛⠿⣬⣛⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⢻⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠷⢦⡁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢠⡴⠟⠉⢀⣤⣶⣶⠄⢻⣶⣿⣶⡆⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
Forsen
Emote
Infinite Cum Part 2
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
“You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
“Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
“You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.”
“How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
“You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.”
“Will I not die?”
“You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist”
…
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
The cum accelerates.
Then years.
The cum accelerates.
Then decades.
The cum accelerates.
Then centuries.
The cum accelerates.
Then eons.
The cum accelerates.
No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.