[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon."

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a 1k MMR feeder who studies dragons, I am telling you, specifically, in dota, no one calls wyverns dragons. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "dragon family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Varanidae, which includes things from wyverns to eldwurms to drakes. So your reasoning for calling a wyvern a dragon is because random people "call the flying lizards dragons?" Let's get gyarados and charizards in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a noob or a feeder? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A wyvern is a wyvern and a member of the dragon family. But that's not what you said. You said a wyvern is a dragon, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the dragon family dragons, which means you'd call eldwurms, drakes, and other flying lizards dragons, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
January 2021

The Nun

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣔⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡌⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⠄⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⢸⠉⠠⠻⠎⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠙⠛⢿⡇⠃⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡆⣾⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⠄⠄⠰⠆⠄⢸⣿⠇⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⣿⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣷⣄⣠⣶⣶⣾⣿⣠⠄⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⣻⠄⠄⠄⣤⠠⠈⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠄⠈⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⢿⡄⠄⢸⣻⡃⠄⢾⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⠄⠄⢃⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠃⠄⠄⣞⣇⠄⠐⡿⣣⡤⠤⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡘⠄⠄⠄⠹⣞⡀⠄⠄⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⡀⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄ ⠄⡘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣦⣀⣨⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡆⠄ ⢀⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣺⣿⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢣⠄ ⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡄
November 2019

He knew he was a sellout

twitchquotes: On November 10th, 2014, Octavian "Kripparian" Morosan was found to be severely delusional. He began wandering around his home, mumbling 'brofist' and 'subscribe'. As his weak fist was placed gently on the webcam, a single tear ran down his cheek. He knew he was a sellout.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

sellout

A Reddit comment summarized and compressed

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
August 2021

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022
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