[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, β€œOh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was β€œHuh?” but he kept cutting me off and going β€œhuh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like β€œSir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually β€œto prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

SKT logo

twitchquotes: β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠸⣔⠀⠀⒀⑀⠀⠀⠀⒠⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒠⑄⠀①⒔⑿⠀⠀⒀⑀⠀⠐⣒⠇ β €β ˜β’β‘β ‚β ΄β£Œβ£β’β£§β‘Άβ †β €β’ β‘Άβ ¦β£Ύβ£’β β β£Όβ’ƒβ£ˆβ‘‘β §β β’‚β‘©β ƒβ € β €β €β €β ‰β’―β‘€β ˜β ’β‘Œβ ‰β‘Έβ €β €β‘Ύβ €β €β €β §β €β’°β‘β’€β β ƒβ£€β‘½β ‰β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β °β’Œβ£β ‘β’²β “β €β£Έβ ƒβ €β €β‘˜β †β €β‘Ώβ ’β’‰β£‰β‘ β ƒβ €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ£Ήβ£β£€β£€β£½β €β’€β£΄β£ˆβ£€β£ β‘Ÿβ ‰β ‰β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Bear hands up

β‘°β ΄β ’β ˆβ‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β’™β£β‘°β’Ί β Ίβ’€β‘ƒβ ‹β ‚β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β’€β „β  β €β „β €β €β „β „β „β „β „β Έβ Έβ£Ώβ Ÿβ’Έ β‘€β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘§β‘„β „β „β „β „β’€β‘€β °β ‹β’€β „β „β‘€β €β£Άβ‘Ύβ Ÿβ „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β „β‘‡ β ‘β ‰β ‰β β …β’°β‘¦β ‰β‘™β‘½β „β „β œβ ›β ΄β Šβ „β‘€β’Όβ£§β‘€β …β „β „β „β‘Œβ „β „β „β’΄ β’°β „β „β „β ˜β‘Œβ’·β‘„β’β β ˆβ „β „β’€β‘ƒβ£ β£Ύβ£†β£Όβ£Ώβ£§β‘—β „β „β’°β‘…β „β „β ˜β’Ώ β Έβ‘€β „β „β „β ˜β’„β ™β‘Žβ‘‡β‘¦β „β „β ˆβ Ήβ’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β‘‡β „β’€β£‡β ‚β „β „β£Œβ’Έ β „β‘Ÿβ „β „β „β °β Όβ’’β‘³β£„β’€β‘€β ‚β „β „β £β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β‘Ώβ’±β’ β žβ †β „β „β „β °β£Ύ β „β‘ƒβ „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ “β£Ÿβ’°β β β „β „β „β ‰β ‘β „β „β’β Šβ β ‰β β „β „β β Άβ£ͺ β  β’Ύβ‘ˆβ£„β‘€β „β „β „β ˜β ˜β ‘β’‘β‘„β „β „β „β ˆβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘¬β’—β‘Ž β „β ¬β’§β£„β –β£€β „β „β „β „β „β ¨β ™β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ °β‘β „ β „β „β „β’ˆβ£³β£­β‘ƒβ †β ‡β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β–„β–„β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Όβ β „ β‘€β’β£›β Ώβ Ώβ ›β’»β£Ώβ’Άβ£°β’€β‘’β „β „β „β „β „β „β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β „β „β β‘ β£Ÿβ †β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β£»β£§β£‡β Šβ’™β’£β‘„β „β „β „β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β „β „β’€β£™β ›β ¨β‘„ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⒀⣠⣾⣿⑿⠿Ⓙ⣲⠄⣁⑀⠄⠄▀▄░░▀▄⠄⠄⠐⠑⠾⒨⠆ β €β –β ’β šβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ££β Άβ ¦β ·β β£”β‘―β „β „β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ „β β –β ‹β „β’ͺβ „
ascii art
March 2021

Squid

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘(●)β–’β–’(●)β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–„β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–’β–β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–β–‘β–β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
November 2014
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing