[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)

twitchquotes: Red ๐Ÿ”ด ๐Ÿ“› sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฆ. Red ๐Ÿ”ด ๐Ÿ”ด suuuus. I ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘„ ๐Ÿ‘ said ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ—ฃ ๐Ÿ’ฌ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’ฆ red ๐Ÿ‘น ๐Ÿ”ด, sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฆ, hahahahaha ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ. Why ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿค” arent you ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‘ˆ laughing ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚? I ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‘ฅ just made ๐Ÿ‘‘ ๐Ÿ‘‘ a reference ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ™€ ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ™€ to the popular ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ video ๐Ÿ“น ๐Ÿ“น game ๐ŸŽฎ ๐ŸŽฎ "Among ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด๐ŸŽ› ๐Ÿ’ฐ Us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ"! How can you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ ๐Ÿ‘ˆ not laugh ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ at it? Emergeny meeting ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿค! Guys ๐Ÿ‘ฆ ๐Ÿ‘จ, this here guy ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป doesnt laugh ๐Ÿคฃ โ˜‘๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜… at my funny ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿบ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜ƒ Among ๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ’ฐ Us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ memes ๐Ÿธ ๐Ÿ˜‚! Lets ๐Ÿ™† ๐Ÿ™† beat โœŠ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ‘Š him ๐Ÿ‘ด ๐Ÿ‘จ to death ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’ฅโ“ ๐Ÿ’€! Dead ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜‚ โ˜  body ๐Ÿ’ƒ ๐Ÿ’ƒ reported โ˜Ž ๐Ÿง! Skip ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿผ! Skip ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿง! Vote ๐Ÿ” ๐Ÿ” blue ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’™! Blue ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’™ was not an impostor ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ˜ . Among ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ…ฐ us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ in a nutshell ๐Ÿ˜  ๐Ÿ˜  hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘‹ ๐Ÿ˜‚. What?! Youre still ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™Œ ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™Œ not laughing ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ your ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘‰ ass ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ…ฐ off ๐Ÿ“ด ๐Ÿ“ดโ˜ ? I ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ made ๐Ÿ‘‘ ๐Ÿ‘‘ SEVERAL ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ’ฏ funny ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜ƒโ“ references ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ™€ ๐Ÿ“– to Among ๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ Us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and YOU ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ”ฅ STILL ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™Œ ๐Ÿ™„ ARENT LAUGHING ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ’ฆ??!!! Bruh โš  ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚. Ya ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŽผ ๐Ÿ™€ hear ๐Ÿ‘‚ ๐Ÿ‘‚ that? Wooooooosh ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘พ ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘พ. Whats ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ woooosh ๐Ÿš ๐Ÿš? Oh ๐Ÿ™€ ๐Ÿ™€, nothing โŒ ๐Ÿšซ. Just the sound ๐Ÿ‘‚ ๐Ÿ”Š of a joke ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ flying โœˆ โœˆ over ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ” your ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘‰ head ๐Ÿ’† ๐Ÿ’†. Whats ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿค” that? You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ ๐Ÿ‘‰ think ๐Ÿ’ญ ๐Ÿ’ญ im ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ’˜ annoying ๐Ÿ˜  ๐Ÿ˜ ? Kinda ๐Ÿ™… ๐Ÿ™… sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฆ, bro ๐Ÿ‘† ๐ŸŒˆโ˜บ๐Ÿ‘ฌ. Hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚! Anyway ๐Ÿ”› ๐Ÿ”›, yea ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ’ฏ, gotta ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘‰ go ๐Ÿƒ ๐Ÿƒ do tasks โœ” ๐Ÿ“‹. Hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚!
twitch chat
December 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Adapt created, quest activated, now we Jebaited

twitchquotes: Jebaited BATTLECRY OUTDATED Jebaited DISCOVERY OVERRATED Jebaited ADAPT CREATED Jebaited QUEST ACTIVATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited NOW WE JEBAITED Jebaited
twitch chat
February 2017

Hearthstone

I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut

I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life. After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out- pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha-- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeรฑo," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeรฑo." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger. A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. Mom, Dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi--" A single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty country road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone. At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one. With a free side order of pain.
July 2021

Albert Einsteinerino

twitchquotes: hello kripp, my name is Albert Einsteinerino, and I've been a huge fan of yours. You've inspired me to quit my physics degree and pursue my dream of playing video games all day asking for donations from people. Thank you for motivating me to go after my dream
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

horses are grass engines

twitchquotes: the dopest thing about horses is that they're basically grass engines like, grass goes in, fast comes out most things that produce fast (like cheetahs and cars) use much more heavily processed grass, like horses, and oil an yet here horses are, producing the Fast with only the gras
twitch chat
September 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing