[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022

Sub with Twitch Prime

⣿⢛⡛⡟⢻⡟⣿⢛⡛⣿⣿⢻⠟⢿⢻⠛⣟⠛⣛⡟⣿⠛⣿⣿ ⣿⢦⡍⣇⢸⡇⣿⢨⡅⢻⣿⡌⢸⠈⣼⠀⣿⠀⣿⡇⣤⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣾⣶⣿⣶⣿⣶⣿⣷⣿⣶⣿⣿ ⣏⡉⢉⡏⡿⠹⡏⡏⢹⡉⢉⣹⢋⡙⣿⢹⡏⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢸⣧⠀⡇⢠⡇⢸⡇⢸⣿⠸⡟⣿⢠⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣾⣿⣶⣷⣾⣷⣾⣷⣾⣿⣶⣶⣿⣾⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢩⡍⡏⢩⡉⡏⢹⠉⢹⠉⣿⢉⣉⣿⡇⠻⠟⠁⠘⠿⠋⣿⣿ ⣿⢠⣴⡇⢠⠐⡇⢸⠀⡘⡆⣿⠰⠶⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⣷⣾⣷⣷⣾⣶⣷⣷⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿
January 2020

I am a heron

twitchquotes: i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
twitch chat
July 2014
Stivitybobo

All these flavours, and he chose to be salty

twitchquotes: PJSalt All these flavours, and he chose to be salty. PJSalt
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

salty

Our dongers will never lower

twitchquotes: OUR BULLETS WILL ANNIHILATE YOU ⁞ つ: •̀ ⌂ •́ : ⁞-︻╦̵══╤─ OUR BLADES WILL PIERCE YOUR SKIN ᗜಠ o ಠ)¤=[]:::::> OUR BEASTS WILL RIP YOU APART ੧〳 ˵ ಠ ᴥ ಠ ˵ 〵ノ⌒. OUR WIZARDS WILL CURSE YOU FOR ETERNITY ༼∩ຈل͜ຈ༽つ━☆゚.*・。゚ AND OUR DONGERS WILL NEVER LOWER
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing