[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
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More Copypastas

Ghiaccio: You know Paris, France?

You know Paris, France? In English, it's pronounced "Paris" but everyone else pronounces it without the "s" sound, like the French do. But with Venezia, everyone pronouces it the English way: "Venice". Like 'The Merchant of Venice' or 'Death in Venice'. WHY, THOUGH!? WHY ISN'T THE TITLE DEATH IN VENEZIA!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? IT TAKES PLACE IN ITALY, SO USE THE ITALIAN WORD, DAMMIT! THAT SHIT PISSES ME OFF! BUNCH OF DUMBASSES!
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

This guy's deck is average

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's deck is average” ☑ “My deck wins about half of the time against a deck like that” ☑ "He played precisely those two cards" ☑ “He topdecked a mediocre card for a mediocre turn” ☑ "He had several cards" ☑ “There were multiple options open to me” ☑ “I played that"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

Tragedy of Angela “Mercy” Ziegler the Healer

twitchquotes: I thought not. It's not a story the Blizzard Devs would tell you. It's an Overwatch legend. Angela Ziegler was the main healer of Overwatch, so powerful and so skilled she could use her rapid healing to influence the human body to create life... She had such a knowledge of healing that she could even keep the ones she cared about from dying. The Zürich PHD is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. She became so powerful... the only thing she was afraid of was losing her power, which eventually, of course, she did. Unfortunately, she taught Jeff Kaplan everything she knew, then her developers nerfed her in her sleep. Ironic, she could save others from death, but not herself.
twitch chat
February 2018

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Overwatch

Tricky the Clown (Impropable Outset)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠐⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠯⠿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠚⠉⠉⠟⢋⣹⠿⣿⣟⡛⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⢶⣿⡏⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⠶⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣶⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠁⠘⡇⠀⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢠⠆⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣿⣷⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⡆⢠⡇⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣌⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⡋⠁⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠿⢯⣉⣙⡿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠄⢀⡄⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⡿⠉⠀⠉⠳⠶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⡚⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⠋⠀⡴⡻⠁⡤⢞⢢⠚⢿⣿ ⣿⢟⠊⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠦⣤⣁⣀⣩⠤⣴⠖⠋⠀⠀⣸⠤⡗⠐⠁⢉⠻⣞⠈⣿ ⡏⠀⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⡆⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣴⠃⠀⢠⠀⠀⢳⠀⢧⠀⠫⡀⠘⢈⠽⣿ ⡇⠀⢠⠂⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⡇⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢾⣟⠀⠀⠆⡄⠀⠈⢷⡉⠳⣤⣠⣉⣤⣾⣿ ⡇⠀⡼⠀⠀⠳⣄⣀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⠀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⣊⣁⣴⣿⣿⢻⠶⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⡽⠷⠾⠷⠛⠋⢹⣿ ⣿⣦⣌⡓⢢⣤⣀⣨⠽⠒⠋⢀⠔⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⢸⡹⣆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⠷⠖⠒⠲⠤⢄⡀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠁⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠙⢦⢻⡝⠷⢤⣴⣃⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠀⣠⣟⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣷⣶⣾⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing