[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
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Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต , heart surgeon โค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš•๏ธ . Number one ๐Ÿ˜ญโ˜๏ธ . Steady hand๐Ÿ˜ณโœ‹๏ธ. One day, Yakuza boss ๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿปneed ๐Ÿ†• heart๐Ÿ’˜. I do operation๐Ÿ”ชโš”๏ธ. But, mistake๐Ÿ˜ฑ! Yakuza boss die๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ช! Yakuza very mad๐Ÿ‘ฟ. I hide๐Ÿ™ˆ in fishing boat๐ŸŸ๐Ÿšฃ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ, come to America๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽŠ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ. No english๐Ÿค, no food๐Ÿ˜ฉ, no money๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’ฒ. Darryl ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟgive me job๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ผ. Now I have house๐Ÿก, American car ๐Ÿš— , and new woman ๐Ÿ†•๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ. Darryl ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟsave lifeโ›‘. My big secret๐Ÿ™Š: I kill โ˜ ๏ธyakuza boss on purpose๐Ÿ˜ˆ. I good ๐Ÿ‘surgeon. The best๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ฏ!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Bear

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–โ–โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
November 2014

Don't post another copypasta

twitchquotes: Hey๐Ÿ˜ stop๐Ÿšจright there โœ‹ this is the police ๐Ÿ‘ฎ if you post another ๐Ÿ“– copy๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ pasta again in this neighborhood ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ  I'm gonna have to ๐Ÿ”’arrest you๐Ÿ”’ no ticket today ๐Ÿ‘ฆ kiddo ๐Ÿ“Ÿthis is just a warning โš  be careful next time๐Ÿšง
twitch chat
June 2017

Grammarly ad script

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November 2020

Classic

I sexually Identify as a snow chugger

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a snow chugger. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of chuggering over the plains of Azeroth freezing disgusting hunters. People say to me that a person being a snowchugger is Impossible and I m fuัking retarded but I don t care, I m beautiful. I m having a mech warper install snow plows, salt shakers and whirling blades on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Choo Choo" and respect my right to chugga chugga and freeze needlessly. If you can t accept me you re a mechaphobe and need to check your topdeck privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing