[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me?

twitchquotes: What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant.

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant. 1) push her (duh) 2) smoke her lineup position so she cant setup the lineup 3) molly her lineup position, as above 4) bodyblock the Snakebite (this one is hilarious) 5) Sage wall to bounce, as above
June 2021

Valorant

A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once

A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like he’s really tall and large but the guy couldn’t be more than 5’4ā€. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said ā€œThe required information is in the lab directionsā€ but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadn’t even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology I’ve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldn’t find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
March 2022
Jerma985

you are NOT a PokƩmon Trainer

twitchquotes: you are NOT a PokƩmon Trainer. true trainers understand that battling requires us to see our opponents as equals. you flaunting PokƩmon Showdown, whilst aiding in this riot, only shows your ignorance in what it means to be a trainer.
twitch chat
January 2021

He logs onto his Paypal account

twitchquotes: Several hours later, Svenskeren sits alone in his room at the Cloud9 team house. All of the other players are fast asleep. He logs onto his Paypal account and a wan smile etches its way across his face.
twitch chat
March 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing