[Copypasta] People Who Fake Disorders Be Like

I miss the old no life Kripp

twitchquotes: I miss the old no life Kripp. It's a shame a game like Hearthstone has turned him from the no life all day "hardcore gamer" to someone with a life and a girlfriends with tons of money. Kripp I will now unsub to you and pray for you that one day you will come back to what you once were and not the $$ making girl kissing gamer with a life, that is all

twitch chat

November 2014

Kripp

A hole in my son's body pillow

My son is 13, recently I've bought him a body pillow of a cartoon he liked and I've noticed he made a hole in it, does this mean he doesn't like the pillow? Should I buy him a new one?

May 2021

TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them. Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem. At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day. While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made. Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that! Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.

August 2021

Classic

Nut

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ascii art

January 2021

Disappointed with Giant Enemy Crabgot

twitchquotes: I was INSANELY disappointed once I loaded into summoner's rift on my favourite champion, Urgot, to find that Giant Enemy Crabgot did NOT have a female resting on his left shoulder ingame. This is a HUGE deal as it was one of the main factors of which I purchased the skin. I sincerely ask that you recoup my losses or change the skin to have a female resting on his manly shoulder

twitch chat

January 2017

[Copypasta] People Who Fake Disorders Be Like

I miss the old no life Kripp

A hole in my son's body pillow

TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide

Classic

Nut

Disappointed with Giant Enemy Crabgot

League of Legends

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