[Copypasta] She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

LCS sponsorships

I can’t wait to see TSM FTX take DIG QNTMPAY’s CISCO NEXUS after they win the GRUBHUB team fight and get a BUD LIGHT ACE at the RED BULL BARON. I can then tweet on the VERIZON 5G all chat during the ROCCAT REPLAY and STATE FARM analyst desk.
July 2021

sellout

League of Legends

What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021

DrDisrespect cheats

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣟⣿⣯⣽⣿⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⠍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣻⣶⣶⣿⣴⣏⡟⡶⠿⠿⠛⠻⠆⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣟⡻⠿⡨⢻⣯⣷⣟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠺⢻⢽⣛⣳⣴⣿⢾⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣔⣂⣠⠤⠉⣀⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣥⣤⣂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⢖⠄⢀⣴⣿⡇⠛⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣠⣀⡀⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣸⢿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣛⣩⣭⣼⡿⠃⠄⠄⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⡆⡄⠄⠈⢷⣄⡀⠄ ⠟⠛⠛⣿⣟⡉⠁⠄⠄⡀⣄⣀⣀⣀⠄⠉⢿⣿⡿⠿⢋⣾⣷⡷⡄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣷ ⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢠⠡⢢⣭⣽⣿⣿⣆⠌⠄⠈⢠⣸⡿⢹⡇⢡⠄⣤⠄⣶⡄ ⣿⢷⣿⣿⣷⡤⡀⠄⣬⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠙⠁⠄⠄⠠⠾⣿⠁⠟⠑⠄⠘⣿⠄⢻⡟
May 2019

I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021

Traumatized Mr Incredible

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖ ➖➖➖⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖ ➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
February 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing