[Copypasta] She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Imaqtpie, where are you listening to this VILE music?!

twitchquotes: QT have you no shame? Listening to this VILE music full of cussing and vulgar language, N word this, N word that. I mean is this really what you want you viewers to be influenced by? I expected more from you Michael 'imaqtpie' Santana.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

If I see one more AYAYA

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I'm really trying to fucking watch the fucking channel and you all fucking spam your fucking copypastas non-fucking-stop and it's getting really fucking annoying. If I see one more fucking AYAYA, monkAS, "Press 1 if", :), counting, dancing emotes, "Only the true champion can champ this pog", or worst of all LONG TEXT COPYPASTAS, I'm going to fucking sign up for the fucking mars mission you fucks.
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Tricky the Clown (Impropable Outset)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠐⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠯⠿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠚⠉⠉⠟⢋⣹⠿⣿⣟⡛⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⢶⣿⡏⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⠶⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣶⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠁⠘⡇⠀⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢠⠆⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣿⣷⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⡆⢠⡇⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣌⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⡋⠁⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠿⢯⣉⣙⡿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠄⢀⡄⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⡿⠉⠀⠉⠳⠶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⡚⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⠋⠀⡴⡻⠁⡤⢞⢢⠚⢿⣿ ⣿⢟⠊⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠦⣤⣁⣀⣩⠤⣴⠖⠋⠀⠀⣸⠤⡗⠐⠁⢉⠻⣞⠈⣿ ⡏⠀⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⡆⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣴⠃⠀⢠⠀⠀⢳⠀⢧⠀⠫⡀⠘⢈⠽⣿ ⡇⠀⢠⠂⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⡇⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢾⣟⠀⠀⠆⡄⠀⠈⢷⡉⠳⣤⣠⣉⣤⣾⣿ ⡇⠀⡼⠀⠀⠳⣄⣀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⠀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⣊⣁⣴⣿⣿⢻⠶⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⡽⠷⠾⠷⠛⠋⢹⣿ ⣿⣦⣌⡓⢢⣤⣀⣨⠽⠒⠋⢀⠔⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⢸⡹⣆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⠷⠖⠒⠲⠤⢄⡀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠁⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠙⢦⢻⡝⠷⢤⣴⣃⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠀⣠⣟⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣷⣶⣾⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free. the choice is yours. Don't bother trying to escape, i've connected a car battery to your balls.
April 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing