[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

This reddit sub is not funny

I have been in this shitty sub for almost a year and the humour here almost didn’t change at all. All of you here are so fucking unfunny it hurts to even open Reddit and see your β€œjokes” on my home page. The word 69 is not funny at ALL. 420 is also not funny. I know they are the sex and weed number but how is that funny at all? Do you just say β€œoh I’m almost about to get 69 karma haha funny”????? You’re not. Saying β€œpenis” or when asked to say a joke β€œmy life” isn’t fucking funny in any way. How is a whole group of teenagers SO UNFUNNY???? I used to have this type of β€œhumour” for a bit (not that long so thank god) and after I realized how much it was being repeated I realized that you guys are embarrassing. No one out of Reddit likes or respects ANY of you. TIK TOK is funnier then here AND ALWAYS WILL BE. β€œSo leave the sub” that won’t fix the sub though, will it? It hurts to see your β€œjokes”. Develop a sense of humor or just get out😐
May 2021

SPAM THIS BREAD TO HELP BALD HEAD

twitchquotes: SPAM πŸ₯– THIS πŸ₯– BREAD πŸ₯– TO πŸ₯– HELP πŸ₯– BALD πŸ₯– HEAD πŸ₯–
twitch chat
May 2019
pgESAM

Rhyme Chant

Super Smash Bros

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

I bet with Betway CSGO

twitchquotes: I've been there since the beginning. Every map, every frag, every moment. I run but I never hide. With knowledge comes power, and power is to be wielded wisely. Which is why, as the expert, I bet with Betway. If you know CS:GO, then you know the best way to bet on e-sports, is with Betway. For the love of the game.
twitch chat
October 2019

CSGO

You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?

You’ve πŸ“‘πŸ‘¨ seen πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸŽ…πŸ» Miku on πŸ”› stage, 4οΈβƒ£πŸ’– but 😠 what πŸ‘πŸΌ about πŸ₯΄ your πŸ‘‰ wrist? βŒšπŸ’― Wrist βŒšπŸ’― World 🌍 is an AR game 🎯 using 😏 wristbands, now πŸ«‚ featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even βœ‹ save 🦎 the world! 🌍 Do πŸ‘€ You πŸ‘€πŸ‘¦ Wrist βŒšπŸ’― World? 🌎 wrist βŒšπŸ’― world 🌍🌎🌏
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Text-to-Speech Playing