God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Does anyone else feels attracted to female avatar profile pictures on reddit?
I don’t know why but I kinda get a little turned on when I see them. There’s something about their design that makes them really adorable and I always try to hold myself back from imagining things about them but I can’t help it. They look so tiny and fluffy with a petite body and short height, cute little outfits, a rounded face, big eyes and pretty hair. Like they’re literally so unironically perfect I feel like reddit made them this way on purpose. I grew a habit of direct messaging anyone who have a nice woman avatar and chatting with them because I imagine the person using the account to look the same. I’m not even typing this out to sound like a weirdo i genuinely feel this way and I do hope that I’m not being weird for it. Please tell me there’s someone who feels the same thing
Kripp's next hoodie color
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, Im excited to think of what the next hoodie color will be. This ones been going strong 20 days in a row now. Maybe we'll go back to the blue one or even the other light grey one that was worn for 30+ days. It's like a game now.
twitch chat
Kripp
Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 7)
After we threw Liam out the window, I decided to call another emergency meeting. “Chad sus!1!1!!1 He’s the SUSSY VERY IMPOSTER!” I said. They all asked why Chad was sus. I said it was because his name is Chad. They all agreed so we ejected him. I was naruto running around the office when Adam stopped me and said “Why are you running?” OH MY FUCK DID HE JUST SAY THE FUNNY UGANDAN MEME? SPIT ON HIM BROTHERS. I spit on Adam and I pulled down my pants and pissed on him. He ran away screaming and everybody looked at me. I pulled my pants up.“ Adam sus. He’s screaming.” Everyone nodded and we ejected Adam. My son came out of the elevator even though it was take your kid to work day and he was supposed to be on the bottom floor, not up here on the 3rd floor! So I said “Son, what the fuck nugget wholesome keanu reeves are you doing here?” He closed the elevator door and I think he went to the first floor. I tried pissing on the elevator door in hopes that it would malfunction it but I don’t think it worked. That stupid little bastard. So I got in the elevator when it came back up and went to the first floor. I looked around but couldn’t find him. I pulled one of the kids up by her shirt and said “WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CHILD?” She was screaming and I threw her away. I stomped down the hallways trying to look for him but I couldn’t find him. “This is not a fortnite minecraft roblox 100 wholesome keanu reeves chungus Amogus moment. That’s pretty sus.” All the coworkers were looking at me in terror.
I went out back and searched in the dumpster to see if I could yet again try to find a weapon to kill all the people there. I already got rid of Chad, Adam and Liam so everyone else could easily be disposed of.
Among Us / Amogus
Trolling with Among Us
Alester Crowley
⡕⡧⡏⣞⢵⡣⣳⣕⢞⢮⡺⣕⡳⣵⣫⢷⠋⣠⣤⣂⠬⡓⢬⠢⣣⣿⢫⣶⡽⣿⡡⣋⢞⡡⣚⠤⠂⣀⠉⠚⡮⣳⣱⢭⡫⣫⡺⣜⢎⡞⡼⡽⡽⣝⠮
⣣⢯⣺⡪⡷⣝⢮⢞⡽⣕⢯⣺⢮⠗⠋⠄⢀⢐⣒⡨⠝⣚⢵⣹⡾⣱⣟⣟⡾⡞⣿⣵⣝⠪⢔⡚⠭⠅⠄⠄⠈⠓⣗⣗⡽⣕⡕⡗⡵⡝⡮⣫⢯⢷⢹
⡯⣳⢵⢽⢝⣮⢯⢯⣞⣷⡿⠞⡁⠅⠐⡀⠂⠄⠤⠭⠭⠥⣽⢟⣼⡭⣭⡭⡽⣽⣮⢿⣮⡙⣒⣒⡛⠠⠈⡀⠂⡀⠄⠳⣯⢶⡹⣪⡪⣎⢯⢾⢽⣝⢜
⡯⣯⣫⢯⣻⡼⣯⣟⣷⠛⡁⢂⠠⠈⢀⠄⠄⠂⠨⠭⢍⣽⣫⣾⣿⣿⣗⡽⣿⣞⣾⢷⡹⣯⡁⣒⠂⠐⢀⠂⠄⢂⢁⠄⡈⠻⣞⣧⢳⡣⣏⣯⣟⢮⡳
⡯⣺⣪⢗⣗⣿⣻⠏⡁⠢⠐⠐⠠⢑⠡⠨⠐⠠⢚⣩⣿⣳⣻⣿⣽⣭⣯⣭⣧⣷⣟⣟⣟⣽⣷⡲⢬⠈⠄⠎⠨⠠⡠⢈⠄⠄⠈⠹⡷⣝⣞⣾⢽⣳⢕
⣟⣞⢾⢽⣾⡿⠋⠐⠈⠄⢁⢐⠅⡣⠁⠡⠐⣈⡵⢋⠝⣩⢏⣚⡜⣜⣆⢽⢪⣎⢞⣌⢏⢯⠹⡻⣐⠊⠐⡈⠄⡁⠄⠂⠡⠈⠄⠄⠈⠻⣳⣿⣻⡽⣕
⡵⣳⣟⣿⡽⠁⠈⠄⢄⠪⡐⢌⢊⡐⢌⠂⠜⡋⠄⠅⠊⡁⡁⠋⠎⣾⢸⢸⣸⢸⡌⠎⢃⠁⡓⠉⡊⠛⢆⢂⠃⠅⠡⠨⡐⠠⠐⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣷⣻⣜
⣯⣻⣾⠏⠄⠄⡄⠕⢌⠊⡔⡢⠡⡊⠔⡡⠑⠌⠌⠌⠂⠐⠄⠁⠂⠁⠏⢺⠎⠊⠁⠐⠄⠂⠄⠡⠄⢑⠐⠠⠑⡁⠅⠨⠠⠁⠂⡀⠂⠄⠠⠈⢻⡷⣕
⡷⣿⠃⠄⠄⠌⠄⡁⡂⠌⠂⠊⠈⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⢀⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠄⡀⠐⠄⢀⠁⠠⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⠻⡵
⣿⠇⠄⠄⡈⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣖⣾⣾⣾⣾⣯⣷⣟⣾⣷⣷⣽⣼⢌⢆⢄⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡻
⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣤⣠⣶⣶⡀⣀⣀⠄⢀⠮⡾⣫⣙⠙⠛⠻⢻⢿⠿⡻⣟⡟⠝⠜⠕⠉⠂⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣄⣠⣶⣦⣀⡀⠄⢀⣴⡴⣝
⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣺⣿⣿⡧⣿⣿⣷⣲⣵⡝⠉⢀⠁⠄⡀⠄⠈⣰⡬⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠑⠄⠄⢠⠆⣛⣉⣿⣿⣷⢺⣿⣿⡆⢿⣿⣿⢿⣝⢴
⣿⡰⣶⡀⣀⣤⣼⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣻⣻⣿⣟⢿⣿⣻⠘⣟⠧⠔⢗⢔⣗⣽⣿⠄⠄⠄⠧⠰⠋⠄⣤⣷⣵⣽⣯⣯⢿⣯⢟⡾⣿⣿⡃⢸⣟⡿⣏⠮⢘
⣟⡏⣾⣇⢹⣿⣿⠽⢿⢿⢿⣟⡟⠷⠙⢝⠐⠅⢸⢨⠄⠘⢜⣘⣴⢿⢕⣿⣿⠅⠄⡇⡅⡃⡆⣰⣟⡗⡯⡫⡳⣻⠿⢙⠹⡽⡿⡓⠁⢺⣳⡟⣾⡧⢘
⡯⡪⠾⡷⢨⣛⣷⢑⠡⡁⡙⡁⡂⡂⡈⡆⢕⠅⢪⠢⡁⡂⢙⣿⢏⢊⣗⣽⣿⡏⠄⠈⣿⠮⠄⣷⡳⣝⡞⡮⡣⣣⢱⠄⠅⠉⠄⠄⠄⠘⢋⢵⡿⡋⢂
⣟⡦⣄⠈⢳⢫⢷⢱⢑⠌⡂⠐⠄⡑⡐⡘⠨⢈⠢⡑⡁⡂⠐⣝⠅⣴⡁⠙⠋⠄⠄⢀⠪⡑⠄⣿⣟⢎⢾⢙⢜⢅⢑⠄⠂⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⠪⠃⢁⣔⢮
⣪⢾⡽⡗⠄⠉⠊⠂⠌⠨⠄⠈⡐⡐⡀⢆⠑⢄⢁⠂⠄⠄⢈⢮⣺⡺⣿⣗⢤⠠⠐⠄⢌⢂⠄⢻⣝⢎⢎⢌⠢⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠠⠈⠘⢗⣕
⣣⡷⠋⠄⠄⠠⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⢔⢄⢄⢣⢑⠄⡢⣪⠪⡠⠁⢰⢻⠘⠘⡙⠉⠚⠉⠄⠐⠈⠠⠄⢸⣪⡷⣕⢔⠕⢌⠄⢀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⢲
⡗⠃⠄⠐⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡱⣳⣗⣵⣵⣿⣮⡧⠣⠄⠊⡆⡮⢯⠛⠙⠉⠙⠈⠄⠐⠄⠄⢰⡳⡻⣟⢼⢜⢔⢕⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠐⠈⠄⠄
⠁⠄⠠⠁⢈⠄⠄⠂⢀⠠⠄⢸⣿⣿⣽⣿⣯⣿⣿⢇⢯⡂⠄⡣⣪⣾⣼⣾⣿⢶⣒⠤⡁⠄⠄⣽⣯⢯⢯⣳⢝⡕⡇⡕⡠⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠂⠄⠠⠄⠄
Dear women who post nudes on reddit.
Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.."
It's tits. It's always fucking tits.
This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something?
"I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants."
I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.