God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall
She sells seashells on a seashore
But the value of these shells will fall
Due to the laws of supply and demand
No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand
Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity
Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see
Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high
until they're rarer than a diamond
Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em
Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em
Hit 'em like Bronson
Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man
Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly
""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy
Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality
Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand
Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well!
Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock
Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States
Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate
Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game
It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name
Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore
And you sell seashells on the seashore.
Shalom my fellow Twitchlings
twitchquotes:
Shalom my fellow Twitchlings. My name is Herschel Goldstein, I hail from the ancient land of Israel. In this world there are two superior races: the valiant Japanese and the God-fearing Jews. When I met the great Kripp at Blizzcon 2013, he gave me a piece of advice that I will never forget: "Pentru a da oul omului, รฎl hrฤneศti pentru o zi. Om รฎnvฤศat de ouฤ, รฎl va hrฤni pentru o viaศฤ รฎntreagฤ." Translated into foreign devil talk: I am coming Yankee scum. Get on board or get out of the way."
twitch chat
Kripp
Giant Douche
twitchquotes:
If Reynad was a Hearthstone card he'd be a Giant Douche
twitch chat
Reynad
Al salem Kripperion!
twitchquotes:
Al salem Kripperion! This be brother Al-Saq-Quadir Prince of Oilrabia, in my country we don't have currency, we only trade in brofist. You have a magnificent one krippFist, I be prepared to offer 50 million USD for your amputated right hand forever preserved while brofisting, thank you for understanding Kripp, and see you in my dungeon.
twitch chat
Kripp
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!
twitchquotes:
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ 
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
twitch chat