[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Imagine spamming chat

twitchquotes: Imagine going to an online chat and spamming it with brainless text for no reason.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

Hello Kripp, Flute Guy here. TUTURURU

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， Ｆｌｕｔｅ Ｇｕｙ ｈｅｒｅ． Ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｎｔｅｄ ｔｏ ｓａｙ： ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

This guy's DDOS is crazy

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's DDOS is CRAZY!” ☑ “My ISP can't win against a DDOS like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely this IP to win" ☑ “He used the only DDOS site the that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect program” ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I streamed that perfectly"!!!
twitch chat
January 2015

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

Henry Stickmin

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠔⠈⠁⠄⠒⠢⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⠖⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠒⢤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣆⠄⠄⢻⡆⠙⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⣷⠄⠘⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⢰⡟⠄⢠⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⣸⠇⠄⠄⡿⠁⢠⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠓⢤⣉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡤⠞⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡌⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡘⢠⠁⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⢸⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠸⠄⢃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⡆⠄⠈⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⢃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠘⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⡟⡄⠄⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⢰⠁⠈⠄⠄⠌⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⢰⢌⡘⠄⠄⠘⠄⠚⢿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠸⠄⠇⠄⠄⠄⠘⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢡⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⠿⠷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
August 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing