[Copypasta] I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut

I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life. After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out- pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha-- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeño," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeño." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger. A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. Mom, Dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi--" A single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty country road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone. At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one. With a free side order of pain.
July 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Forg

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠶⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡴⠛⡶⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠴⢊⠕⠊⠉⠉⠉⠢⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣔⣚⣣⡀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠴⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠻⣟⣋⣙⠻⠥⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠖⠛⠉⠀⢀⡔⠋⠉⡤⠤⠔⠒⠒⠒⠐⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠒⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠔⡲⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⠦⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⢀⣠⠤⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠤⠭⣲⡦⡴⢾⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⣙⣄⣀⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⣿⡼⠲⠽⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠰⡇⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⢬⠱⣟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠓⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⠀⣳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠻⠯⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⠾⠿⠭⠭⠴⠦⠤⠤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠓⠲⠶⢦⣄⠀⢠⣀⠚⢶⠺⠿⠶⠳⠶⠶⠶⠦⠦⠤⠴⠶⠶⠒⠋⠁⠉⠉⠙⠒⠒⠒⠲⠖⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣈⣿⠛⠶⠷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Nairo Meta Whore

twitchquotes: NairoMK? more like Nairo Meta Whore (whore with a silent K). all you do is play the most broken characters because they are "meta" what the crap even is the meta. i miss when you used to be loyal to your characters like Zero. Zero is a HARDCORE final fantasy fan and played cloud in tournament despite the nerfs to his favorite character. enjoy your cheap wins until the next patch hits and nerfs your busted characters. us character loyalists will gladly take your top seed. Lucas main BTW.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

Exercise caution and stay away from the Subs

twitchquotes: SECURITY ALERT: A Romanian man, roughly 6'5", skeleton thin, with black hair and scraggly beard has been seen riding the NYC Sub train and violently "Bro-Fisting" passengers. He's accompanied by a short Asian man dressed as Hitler who reputedly cuts out the tongue of anyone who refuses to give him $5. Exercise caution and stay way from the Subs!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™

twitchquotes: If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... H O R R I B L E... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the BEST for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.
twitch chat
August 2019

Go back to playing Grim Yawn Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp! This is famous game designer, Eddy Pasterino. I am very glad to see you playing my new game Hearthstone . However i must ask you stop playing now as you are making it look boring as hell and as always Dongerino Al Pacino go back to playing Grim Yawn.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing