[Copypasta] I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

how are people who chat on twitch streams so annoying?

twitchquotes: how are people who chat on twitch streams so annoying? like wtf is even omeglol? and y do yall spam emojis, spam pog, and send messages like "blah blah blah :) blah blah blah :) blah blah blah :) blah blah blah"? like calm down its not that serious.
twitch chat
December 2020

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021

Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten

twitchquotes: Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Only one cure to the memes

twitchquotes: there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\ there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\
twitch chat
May 2016
imaqtpie

Chat analyses Kripp's painting

twitchquotes: I honestly can't believe the idiocy of this chat sometimes. The green obviously represents Kripp's veganism, which is contrasted by the red below it, symbolizing animals and meat. The orange in the middle is a masterful representation of Kripp's balding spot, and the black strokes surrounding it are his attempts to hide it.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing