I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
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AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?
So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot).
My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands).
I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
Potato harvest is bad. Play Hearthstone in Amerikanski
twitchquotes:
My name Dimitri Baryshnikov. I grow up in small farm to have make potatos. Father say "Dimitri, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play porfessional game in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka." I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Plz no cykapasta
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Kripp
Kripp plays Armor Up Warrior
twitchquotes:
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Armor Up Warrior. Now I remember why I fell asl... 
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Must be Weasel Tunneler
twitchquotes:
Great Fur Extremely Handsome Innovative Deathrattle High Level Tactics Moderately Sized Fedora Great Animations Broken Interactions Must be Weasel Tunneler
Great Fur Extremely Handsome Innovative Deathrattle High Level Tactics Moderately Sized Fedora Great Animations Broken Interactions Must be Weasel Tunneler
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Hearthstone
Geepsy from Romania dreams to play Cardstone
twitchquotes:
Ｉ ａｍ Ｇｅｅｐｓｙ ｆｒｏｍ Ｒｏｍａｎｉａ． Ａｌｌ ｏｆ ｍｙ ｌｉｆｅ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｄｒｅａｍｅｄ ｔｏ ｐｌａｙ ａｇａｉｎｓｔ ｔｏｐ ｐｌａｙｅｒｓ ｌｉｋｅ Ｄｅｎｎｉｓ ａｎｄ ｒａｙ ｎａｄｓ ｉｎ Ｃａｒｄｓｔｏｎｅ． Ｍｙ ｇｉｒｌｆｒｉｅｎｄ Ａｌｅｘｔｒａｓｚａ ｓｏｌｄ ｏｕｒ ｆａｒｍ ｔｏ ａｃｈｉｅｖｅ ｍｙ ｄｒｅａｍ． Ｗｉｓｈ ｍｅ ｌｕｃｋ ａｔ Ｄｒｅａｍｈａｃｋ！
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PGL