[Copypasta] I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021
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SKROINK!

twitchquotes: [ ᕤ ಠ (oo) ಠ ]ᕤ ︵┻━┻ SKROINK! [ ᕤ ಠ (oo) ಠ ]ᕤ ︵┻━┻
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January 2015
Kripp

The Coldest Place in the Universe May Actually Be a Sussy Baka

The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 °C or -460 °F) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus? The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions. Follow for more updates on this developing story.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021

Supreme

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠙⠻⠋⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠟⠀⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠒⠶⠾⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢰⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠶⢶⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣾⣿⣷⡄⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠉⠋⠁⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣷⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢻⡇⠀⡿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢀⣤⡄⠀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢹⡇⠀⠟⠁⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣸⡇⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2020

How I got into Harvard

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
December 2020

Rick and Morty

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