[Copypasta] I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Pornhub's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is the administrator of PornHub™ we have noticed you haven’t logged in for 2 weeks, we’re just checking to see if everything is okay and we’ve prepared you a list of videos from your favourite category (Asian). See you soon!
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Starcraft Ghost

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢴⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣯⣸⣷⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡜⢳⣓⣚⡹⡄⠙⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡑⠉⡆⠀⠈⠀⢸⢖⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⡎⢸⣁⢀⡴⠟⡿⠊⢉⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠔⡻⠤⢋⠤⣎⡤⠖⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣮⠕⠉⢀⡰⢿⢤⠏⡿⠀⠀⠀SOMEBODY⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⢊⣠⣒⣆⡥⠃⠀⡏⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀CALL⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠔⠊⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠸⡆⠀⢠⠃⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀FOR⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠘⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠉⢹⠒⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀AN⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣄⡠⢼⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀EXTERMINATOR?⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡎⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⠥⡑⡧⠚⠧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠯⠤⠟⠉⠒⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
October 2021

It's not gay if it's ANIME

twitchquotes: IT'S KappaPride NOT KappaPride GAY KappaPride IF KappaPride IT'S KappaPride ANIME KappaPride
twitch chat
July 2017

KappaPride

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

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