[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Tired of getting Sniped?

twitchquotes: Tired of getting Sniped? No problem! Here at Sniper Deflectors™ we can shield your Arena Queue from incoming Snipers with our new patent-pending SniperShield™ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming sniper shots right back to the sniper-guild recruiter (definitely not DRIVEZY), causing them to effectively Snipe themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

mizkifSmile

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣼⣿⡟⠁⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠙⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣷⣆⠄⠐⠄⣄⣠⡄⣠⣤⡄⣴⣦⣀⣤⣠⣴⢰⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠈⣈⠃⠻⢿⡷⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠈⠙⠾⠿⢿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣛⣭⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
ascii art
November 2021

Sodium is named NA in honor of the saltiest region on earth, North America

twitchquotes: Sodium, atomic number 11, was first isolated by Humphry Davy in 1807. A chemical component of salt, he named it Na in honor of the saltiest region on earth, North America.
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games

Classic

salty

EU vs NA

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk. This is proven by the name "Alvin and the Chipmunks", as you can see, Alvin is separated from the chipmunks, suggesting that Alvin is an entirely different species, making him an "imposter" amongst the others. Also, in "The Chipettes", Brittney has the strongest resemblance to Alvin, so why is it not called "Brittney and the Chipettes". So all that proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk. Not to mention that Alvin wears red, and I'm not sure about you, but that seems awfully sus to me. In the video game "Among us", the color red is was the birth of the obnoxious catchphrase, "red sus", being that the color red in the game is a stereotype that they are the imposter. While that might be unrelated, keep in mind that Alvin wears red too, and he is also the imposter amongst the other chipmunks. So this proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk, or anything like that. Alvin is just a sussy amogus imposter.
October 2021

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
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