[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."
September 2021

NSFW

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are submissive and breedable

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are on your bed, and let's suppose that you are also submissive and breedable. Now, let's say you are a male. Statistically speaking, humans, that are submissive and breedable tend to be femboys, that's a fact (which doesn't about your feelings). Hypothetically under these circumstances, it would be statistically speaking uncontroversial to assume you would be wearing thigh highs (which would boost your breedability factor by about 20%). Now let's assume you are an SJW SOCIALIST LIBTARD, and let's say I was you, would it not be under these circumstances, the only correct course of action for you to take to ABSOLUTELY WRECK AND DESTROY me (in a debate) in bed?
April 2022

Ben Shapiro

Master Hand

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢿⣿⣿⢀⡀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠉⠙⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢤⣤⣴⠀⠁⠀⠘⠋⠰⣿⣿⡟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣿⣿⠄⠈⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣧⣤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⢆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠
ascii art
December 2020

Super Smash Bros

Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) OVERCONFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND INSIDIOUS KILLER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021
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