[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Johnny Test

⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡸⠱⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣴⠖⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⡆⢀⢀⢠⠃⢀⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⢁⡇⢀⢠⠏⢀⢀⢹ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⣼⠁⣠⠏⢀⢀⢀⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣾⡿⠋⢀⣼⡿⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⢀⢰⢏⡼⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇ ⢀⢀⣾⢀⢀⢀⣼⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⣿⠃⣀⣠⣶⠿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⠃⢀⣀⣠⠤⠖⠚⠋⢉⡭⠋ ⢀⣼⣿⢀⣠⣿⠟⠁⢀⢀⢀⠘⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠮⠒⠋⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠔⠁ ⢀⡇⢻⣰⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁ ⢸⠃⠈⠟⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠋ ⢸⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⠋ ⢸⡄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠁ ⢀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⢠⡞ ⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣉⡉⢉⡟ ⢀⠘⣄⣀⣀⣤⣤⢀⡇⠰⠶⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⠶⢀⢀⢀⣼⠿⠟⠛⠿⡿ ⢀⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⡠⠊⠁⣀⣀⠈⠑⣄⢀⢀⢀⣰⡡⠤⠠⢄⣰⠃ ⢀⢀⠈⢏⣉⣀⣀⣸⡇⢀⠸⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⢀⠘⡄⢀⢠⠏⢠⣤⣤⢀⠹ ⢀⡰⠊⠉⠑⡄⢀⢸⠇⢀⢃⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⢀⠃⢀⣾⢀⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⠇ ⢀⠃⠈⠉⢣⠘⠤⠼⢀⢀⠈⢄⢀⠈⠉⠁⢀⣠⠎⢀⡘⠸⡀⠙⠛⠁⢀⢼⡄ ⢀⡀⢀⠐⠎⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠁⠐⠒⠒⠈⢀⢀⢀⠧⠤⢬⠒⢀⠂⠁⢀⢳ ⢀⠁⠐⠒⠂⠉⠁⠢⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠒⠤⢤⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣉⡠⠤⠂⢀⡴⠃ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠙⢲⣤⣀⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠉⠉⠁⢀⣀⣤⠞⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣦⣬⣇⠈⠉⢿⡒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠚⠛⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠸⣿⣷⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠚⢻⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣹⣟⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡘⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣦⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡝⠉⠉⠉⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣇⢠⢠⢀⣾⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢸⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠘⣾⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⣹⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⢓⣤⣀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⠤⠤⠽⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢒⣒⣂⣀⣉⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⢸⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⡉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠒⠒⠊ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠇⢀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⢀⠠⡇
January 2021

It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020

pepeSpit

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⢾⣶⣦⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⢿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡾⠁⣀⠙⠸⣿⡇⡟⣋⣩⣴⣶⣶⣶⣍⢿⣷⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⢷⡄⠄⠄⢠⣝⡀⠤⣴⣧⣭⠄⡞⠛⠻⣭⣭⣭⡛⢿⢸⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣶⣶⣶⢸⠄⠒⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⡌⡼⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⢠⣴⡾⢟⡻⢿⣿⣷⢄⣐⠶⠿⠿⠛⣛⣃⣴⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⢉⣉⡉⢭⣥⣿⣧⡘⣿⣮⣻⣿⣶⣮⣭⣍⣋⣭⣭⣴⣿⣿⣟⣱⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⠟⠄⠘⣿⡿⢛⣣⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⠋⠄⠄⠄⠘⢇⣛⣛⣛⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣶⣶⣝⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣝⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣩⣤⣄
November 2021

Pepe

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

PepePls

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⢄⣀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣉⣒⣄⠉⠉⠉⢉⣀⣂⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⡄⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⣐⠭⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⣒⣳⠈⠛⠂⠀⠀⣒⣛⡢⠈⢿ ⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠠⣤⣶⠖⠙⠀⡉⢻⡿⣶⣿⣿⠁⡂⠠⠈⢿⠗⢸ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠂⠭⠤⠤⠤⣤⠄⠊⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠂⠈⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣟⣛⣛⣻⡶⠶⠶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡶⠾⢃⣼⣿ ⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⡀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠓⠛⠻⠿⠿⠷⠿⠟⢃⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⢠⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠀⢠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing