[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

Hyper improvement platform

twitchquotes: Micheal, in this brand new season full of unexpected challenges and adventures in the world that is solo q, what can I / We / YOUR VIEWERS use in order to maximise our game knowledge and as a result increase our chance of getting higher ranks, I need a hyper improvement platform man, hit me up!
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

sellout

League of Legends

twitch chatting requires a BIG BRAIN

twitchquotes: If you think about it twitch chatting requires a certain level of intelligence considering the vast number of emotes, knowing which scenarios to use them, and remembering how to spell them (including capital vs lowercase letters)
twitch chat
May 2019

voting booth inspection is not required

twitchquotes: So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Value Town was within reach

twitchquotes: Trump couldn’t wait. Value Town was within reach and he moaned, hard, “Tuck Frump!” He was fidgety, yet Kripparrian stripped away his juvenile briefs. “He has the perfect cards…” Kripp thought in his head, “An absolutely ridiculous deck.” Cattarrian stared casually as Kripp bounced his Ragnaros off of Trump’s plump rump.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing