[Copypasta] Hey teacher I was wondering, what is a ratio

Hey teach I was wondering, what is a ratio. You see yesterday when I was on Twitter Dot Com I got HELLA ratio'd because I don't know how to spell whens day. I mean really why should I care about english like really its like americaneese and America is super racist they had slaves. Anyways teach back to what I was asking how the fuck do I get my twitter unsuspended.
May 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Giving due respect to the chat moderators

twitchquotes: Hey mods I just wanted to congratulate you all and give proper respect for keeping our chats safe from the evils of Twitch, the spammers, and sexual predators. Without you and your methods, which have no affiliation to the leading German political party within the time frame of World War 2, we would not be able to enjoy a fun, clean environment in which we can enrich ourselves with game knowledge and truly become one as a great family for the greater good of internet chatrooms. Again, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job and hope to see you all keep up the great work.
twitch chat
December 2014

MODS

Classic

Response to someone correcting spelling

whats that? holy shit. holy fucking shit. you fucking genius. did you actually just correct someone's spelling? you fucking madlad. i can't believe i just witnessed one of the greatest achievements in human history right now. i think im gonna cry, im so excited. to be honest, i would suck your dick to reward you for your HUGE contribution to the human race if the line wasnt so long. you know what? fuck it. ill let you fuck my wife. ill pay you to fuck her. only for the slim chance that one of her kids will have a small part of your magnificent iq. ill mortgage my fucking house just so you could have 15 minutes with her, while hoping that your MASSIVE cock won't rip her in half. after that, we should start a religion for you. fuck jesus, the only thing this dick did is resurrect himself. you are entitled to the praise he's getting. we should make you immortal. losing you would mean stopping the human evolution and we would all revert to monkeys, not that we are more than monkeys in your majestic presence. I suggest we go to the UN and tell them to hand over all their authority to you, im sure you can unite all the people of the world just with a single swing of your cock, making the entire population wet in the process. just before that one more thing: can you shut the fuck up? nobody cares about that fucking typo you single chromosomed retarded gnome. I bet you think you are so fucking smart and witty after pointing something that didnt bother anyone. God, you are fucking pretentious, i bet you actually believed all of the text above. Did you think i would let you fuck my wife? She is only 12 you sick paedophile. Im calling the police so you could be tortured for eternity while your remains will be forcibly fed to everybody from your family or anyone even remotely related to you while they are forced to anally fuck a penguin. no, seriously do you think i'm joking? i'll come to your house and fuck your ass with a cactus. not that you would feel it after all the things you already had up there. you're a fucking twat that doesnt contribute to society and you deserve to die slowly.
October 2021

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: Iโ€™m sorry I kept referring to Fredโ€™s liberally mayoโ€™d oven-roasted chicken sub as a โ€œbukkake specialโ€. Iโ€™m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. Iโ€™m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling โ€œETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?โ€ in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021

Just me and EA hanging out

twitchquotes: Just me and ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’•EA๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ฐ, hanging out I wanted some Star Wars๐ŸŒŸ so I started to pout ๐Ÿ˜ž He asked if I was down โฌ‡for something yummy ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ† and I asked what and he said he'd give me his ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฆlooties!๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฐ Yeah! Yeah!๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ฆ I earn them!๐Ÿ’ฆ I buy them!๐Ÿ’ฆ I purchase them whole๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ˜ It makes ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’˜EA๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ˜Šhappy๐Ÿ˜Š so it's my only goal... ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜ซHarder EA! Harder EA! ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’• 1 lootie๐Ÿ’ฆ, 2 lootie๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ, 3 lootie๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ, 4๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ I'm ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’˜EA's๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ‘‘Disney princess ๐Ÿ‘‘but I'm also a consumer whore! ๐Ÿ’Ÿ He makes me OP๐Ÿ’—!He makes me feel good๐Ÿ’œ! ๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜He makes me feel everything a whale should!~ ๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜ ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’˜Wa-What!๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘‘๏ปฟ
twitch chat
November 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing