[Copypasta] Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight

twitchquotes: Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't whisper me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok). Shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless twitch chat pastas. (Gonna have lots of segz tonight with a real girl).
twitch chat
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I'm a teacher but I'm treated like I'm a streamer

twitchquotes: I'm a teacher, middle school ages, we have a gaming club in our school. Most of the kids are vocal about watching Twitch, who their favorite streamers are and when playing games the would suggest who to watch to get better at a game, e.g. watch Hashinshin to improve at League etc. Now when the kids come to the gaming club they no longer ask about games, they all just chant 'Miss, get your tits out, get your tits out, get your tits out for the lads' or 'Miss, I'll pay you a dollar to show me your feet' or 'Miss, how much too see your butthole' or 'Miss, I'll gift 50 subs if you get your tits out now' or 'Miss, the lads need those big juicy milf titties out' or 'Miss, get your tits out or I'll bring a gun to school tomorrow'. It's getting a bit tiresome, will Twich Tv ever do anything about this epidemic?
twitch chat
April 2021

We require you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine

Meanwhile in Call of Duty, true gamers laugh about Battlefield's primitive physics engine. Arma was an attempt by a failing Czech developer to make Call of Duty 'more realistic'. However due to the fact that Call of Duty was already as realistic as a video game can possibly be, they panicked. They made a shameless rip-off and slapped 'military simulator' on the front. True gamers are smart enough to know this, hence why Arma averages 67 on Metacritic, whereas Call of Duty averages 98-100. Call of Duty players laugh down at players of every other game, knowing they are Call of Duty rip-offs. Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine. The world's leading video game scientists have confirmed this, so it isn't as much 'thinking' as it is 'knowing'. And Call of Duty can't possibly RIP those games off. Call of Duty was the first video game, so there wasn't anything for it to rip off.
August 2021

Call of Duty

Disney DVD

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣋⣭⣽⣿⣿⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠻⣿⣿⠏⠅⢀⣤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢻⣇⢀⣛⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⡀⠉⢛⡛⠻⣿⣿⡆⢹⡟⢿⠟⠛⠉⣙⣻⡿⢻⣿⠙⣿⣛⠛⠛⢻⡿⣻⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣃⣼⣿⡇⢸⡇⢸⣦⢭⡩⣛⢻⠃⣤⠻⡆⣿⠃⣘⣻⣿⠱⠏⢠⡎⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣟⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣠⣾⡇⢸⣧⣛⠂⢈⣰⡀⣿⣧⣀⣏⡀⠛⢛⣷⠀⠐⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣷⣦⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⠀⠀⢹⡟⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⠃⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠁⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠃⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣸⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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April 2021

5Head

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠄⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⢿⣿ ⣿⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⣿ ⡟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄ ⣇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡇⢠ ⣿⡀⠈⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⣀⠄⠄⣾ ⣿⣧⢠⣖⣀⡀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣤⡶⢿⣿⡄⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⢿⣦⣬⣙⣒⡤⣌⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣚⣭⣴⣶⣿⡟⣼⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣬⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡹⣯⣿⠿⠦⠬⣭⣭⣥⣼⠾⢿⣿⡿⠟⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡙⢷⣯⣭⣭⣭⣭⣽⣿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⠛⠛⠟⠛⢛⣡⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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March 2019
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