[Copypasta] MSFT Infinite Money Glitch πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good β€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies πŸš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

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I used to be a real ad
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Forgive English, I am Russia

forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
July 2014

KappaPride

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NaM octopus

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ£΅β Ÿβ β „β „β „β „β’€β‘€β „β „β ™β’Ύβ’½β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿Ⓒ⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣢⣿⣿⣇⑀⠄⠄⠩⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠭⣿⣿⣿⣯⠭⣄⠄⠄⠄Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘…β „β „β „β „β „β£β£€β‘˜β Ήβ£Ώβ£β£€β£Όβ‘„β ˆβ „β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⑀⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⠃⒨⣏⣻⣿⣿⑇⠄⠄Ⓓ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣢⣦⠄⑄⣿⠛⠄⠠β’₯⠛Ⓙ⣿⑇Ⓖ⣣⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ££β‘Άβ ¬β‘›β ›β ƒβ ™β ‰β „β‘€β£€β£³β£Άβ’˜β‘‘β ΄β£Ύβ£Άβ‘¦β ¬β‘»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⠄⠄⣠⑄⠄⠄⣀⣀③⠢⣢⣦⒀⣿⣿Ⓑ⠃⑀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣄⣀⠄⠄ β „β „β ˆβ ™β »β’Ύβ’Ώβ£¬β£€β£€β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Ώβ£―β£·β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ ›β ‰β ‰β β „β ˆβ ™β’·β‘„ β „β „β „β „β ˆβ „β „β β ˆβ’‰β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£«β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£·β£Άβ£„β’‚β „β „β „β£Όβ ‡ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£€β£΄β‘Ώβ Ÿβ’«β£Ώβ‘Ÿβ žβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β „β ‰β »β£·β£β ›β ›β ‰β „ β „β „β£€β£€β£ β£ β£Ύβ£Ÿβ£‰β£€β£Άβ‘Ώβ ‹β „β „β ˜β’Ώβ£·β£„β£€β£€β£€β‘€β „β ˜β’Ώβ£†β „β „β „ ⒀⣾⠛⒛⑋⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻Ⓑ⣾⑉⠄⠄⠄ β ˜β’Ώβ£€β‘Ÿβ β „β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘΄β „β β’»β£·β „β „β „ β’β’€β Ÿβ ’β ˜β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’³β£„β£ β‘Ύβ ƒβ „β „β „ β ˆβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β „β „β „β „β „
July 2019

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Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

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Kappa

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Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly

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