Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good βol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies π
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wifeβs Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out πππ
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wifeβs boyfriend.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
I awoke from my coma and muted the stream
twitchquotes:
I owe my life to [insert streamer]. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse walked in and changed the Twitch channel to [insert streamer]'s stream. I awoke from my coma and muted [insert streamer].
twitch chat
Classic
You have been permanently banned from this channel
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
You have been permanently banned from this channel ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
You have been permanently banned from this channel ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
twitch chat
MODS
Classic
YUGIOH KEEPS INTERRUPTING MY AD MARATHON
twitchquotes:
π π 
HELLO TWITCH? π THIS YUGIOH THINGY π KEEPS INTERRUPTING π MY AD MARATHON π
HELLO TWITCH? π THIS YUGIOH THINGY π KEEPS INTERRUPTING π MY AD MARATHON π
twitch chat
TwitchPresents
Classic
YuGiOh Ad Marathon
Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE
twitchquotes:
Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE ππΆ πππΆπππΆ CONGA LINE πππΆπππΆπππΆπππΆ πππΆπππΆ CONGA LINE πππΆπππΆπππΆπππΆ πππΆπππΆ CONGA LINE πππΆπππΆπππΆπππΆ πππΆπππΆ CONGA LINE πππΆπππΆπππΆ
twitch chat
Classic
A severe lack of cute emotes in chat
twitchquotes:
Konichiwa Kripp-kun 
. This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
. This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
Kripp