[Copypasta] MSFT Infinite Money Glitch ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good โ€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies ๐Ÿš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wifeโ€™s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wifeโ€™s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Classic Copypastas

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

That's the wrong VoHiYo

twitchquotes: VoHiYo THATS VoHiYo THE VoHiYo WRONG VoHiYo HOLE VoHiYo ONII-CHAN VoHiYo KYAAAAH VoHiYo
twitch chat
March 2016

Weebs

Classic

Wagner Opera Topdeckhoffen

twitchquotes: Gแดœแด›แด‡ษด Tแด€ษข, Hแด‡ส€ส€ Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜! Mแด‡ษชษด Nแด€แดแด‡ ษชsแด› Pแด‡แด›แด‡ส€ แด แดษด Pแด€sแด›แด‡ษดสœแดา“า“แด‡ษด. Hแด‡ส€แด‡ ษชษด Dแด‡แดœแด›sแด„สœสŸแด€ษดแด… แดกแด‡ แด€ส€แด‡ แดแด€แด‹ษชษดษข ษดแด‡แดก Wแด€ษขษดแด‡ส€ แดแด˜แด‡ส€แด€ Tแดแด˜แด…แด‡แด„แด‹สœแดา“า“แด‡ษด. Rแด€ษดษชแด€ ษชs Vแด€สŸแด‹สส€ษชษดแด, แด€ษดแด… แด‹ษชสŸสŸs สแดแดœ ษชษด ส€แด‡แด แด‡ษดษขแด‡ า“แดส€ แด…แด€s Pแดส€ษดสœแดœส™. Tส€แดœแดแด˜ แด˜แดแดœส€s Oส€แด€ษดษขแด‡ษดsแด€า“แด› แดษด สแดแดœส€ ษขส€แด€แด แด‡, แด€ษดแด… สแดแดœ แด€แด˜แด˜แด‡แด€ส€ ษชษด sแด‹ส แด€s แด„แด€sแดœแด€สŸ ษขสœแดsแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแด. PสŸแดข ษดแด แด„แดแด˜แด˜แด‡ษด แด˜แด€sแด›แด‡ษด แด…แดแดษขแด‡ษด แด…แด€แด€ษขแด‡ษด.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

Spooky skeleton

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–Œโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Classic

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing