Give it up folks, einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B... Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 257 IQ Brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my grattitude, Actually, What's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife. Also, my Paypal username and password is: Ilikesmartazzes4 and 968386329. Go have fun. Thank you for your work.
I used to be a real ad
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Bears after a green day
It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan ‘97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word “VOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
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President's Day Emoji Pasta
ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! 🚨🚨🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸time to hop onto that founding father dick🍆🍆🍆👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻or should i say founding DADDIES!!!😩😩😩🙌🙌👅👅💦💦 out here tryna get rammed from behind 🍑🍑🍑🍑harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMORE☄️☄️⛰🏔🏔george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh ❄️❄️🌬winters🌬❄️❄️ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets🌪💑❓❓❓be the monica Lewinsky 🙋🏻to my bill clinton🙋♂️ baby and i wont deny i had 🍆🍆♋️sexual relations♋️🍆🍆 with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs💸💸🤷🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️✍🏻send this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES👸🏼🇺🇸🇺🇸👸🏼who will throw the nastiest neck🍆🍆😩😩🙌🙌🌬💦 on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY😊😊💙🚨❤️ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight🐱🐱💦💦🙌😩😩😩😩😩🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
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President's Day
They weren't sus
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Among Us / Amogus
Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front
twitchquotes:
Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, I'd be like, "No way, bro. I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks." Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and I'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! I want his butt!" But I wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them and letting them know how much I'm enjoying myself. So, even though I'd have a bunch of ripped guys all taking turns on my butt, I'd still be enjoying it. But only because I forced myself to. It's not like I could fight these guys off. There are too many of them and they want me too much. What am I, Chuck Norris?" I'm not against homosexuality, though. I say to each his own. You're free to do whatever you want.
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