Give it up folks, einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B... Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 257 IQ Brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my grattitude, Actually, What's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife. Also, my Paypal username and password is: Ilikesmartazzes4 and 968386329. Go have fun. Thank you for your work.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Kripparrian... this Bro Fist is for you
twitchquotes:
As he raises his "Bro Fist" gently against his cam, I raise my donger against my cam. I feel how for that moment, Kripparrian and I become one. My donger starts to shake, and I close my eyes, letting out a small moan as our "Bro Fists" e-touches. "Kripparrian.. this Bro Fist is for you" I whisper to myself. 
twitch chat
Kripp
ESAM's tag actually has a secret meaning
twitchquotes:
fun fact: ESAM's tag actually has a secret meaning. the SAM is for his name, Samuel. the E stands for "electronic" since he plays electronic games
twitch chat
pgESAM
Super Smash Bros
You've been visited by the Feels Bad Man
twitchquotes:
You've been visited by the Feels Bad Man Misery, Hatred and Self Deprecation will be all yours but only if you DON'T copy and paste this message
You've been visited by the Feels Bad Man Misery, Hatred and Self Deprecation will be all yours but only if you DON'T copy and paste this message
twitch chat
Kripp
Start with something small like your intelligence
twitchquotes:
I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego
twitch chat
Classic
I hate, hate, hate coffee culture
I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen.
When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place.
There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise.
And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work.
Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable.
And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts.
And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.