So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said “dirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said “dirtier!” So I said “I’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.”
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Stock space rocket
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☀️
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✦
, [stock ticker]🚀 ,
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WallStreetBets
Daily WSB trader routine
1. Wake up
2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls
3. Shit while looking at charts, don’t wipe
4. Fomo and buy the top
5. Watch stock Plummet
6. Sell, watch stock go up
7. Go to WSB and downvote everything
8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are
9. Stare at futures for 3 hours
10. Sleep & repeat
WallStreetBets
NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.
🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌
NOT. FUCKING. SELLING.
🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀
NOT PRESSING “SELL” ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE.
💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚
I’LL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US.
🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀
CAN’T STOP. WON’T STOP. GAMESTOP.
💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚
TOMORROW, I THINK I’LL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO.
🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀
I’LL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND IT’S GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND.
💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚
I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND I’M NOT SELLING, AND I’M NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!!
🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀
WallStreetBets
Solar energy stocks at night time
It’s nighttime so of course solar energy stocks would be weak as fuck. Wait til morning when the sun rises & pumps them
WallStreetBets
The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen.
When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week.
As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds.
This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.