Instead of saying ACAB(all cops are bastar*ds) we should start saying ACAS(all cops are sus). Think about it, it's less offensive and it only shows that we think that a cop might be sus(suspicious) of something but not necesseraly guilty of it. It's the same thing in the popular game amogus with thinking that all red players are impostors really. This might sound stupid but hear me out. Statistically, every player regardless of their color has the same chance of being the impostor, yet, there is this social stigma that only red players are impostors. However, players of Amugus have developed this great system that will help them show their suspicion on someone without saying that they are the impostor(in case that they actually aren't). They say that someone is 'sus' so nobody gets their feelings hurt. We can apply this knowledge to the real world, right? If everyone can be an impostor in amongsus, regardless of their color, so can anyone be a bastard in real world, regardless of their task(job as some low inteligence individuals might call it).
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Among Us / Amogus Copypastas
jeSUS
So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church.
We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week.
But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus."
"Jesus."
"JeSUS."
No way. I could not believe what I was hearing.
Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan.
If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us."
"WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence.
Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.)
They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children.
"Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?"
And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!!
"Young man, please be quiet" said the priest.
He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem?
"THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!"
This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be.
I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me.
As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me!
I had to think fast.
After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard.
A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him.
Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull.
"EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!"
No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever.
I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy.
"You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism."
The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite.
He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him.
But he was still the imposter.
I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere.
Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on.
"This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!"
This guy is so sus, let me tell ya.
Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast.
"Dammit, I can't hit him!"
I knew I had him beat then.
So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.)
I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion.
The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus.
I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
Among Us / Amogus
Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)
The other day, it was βtake your kid to work dayβ at my dadβs job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldnβt help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, βIs this the Among Us but real??β My dad replied βNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.β
As we entered the building, my dad said βSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.β He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said βDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?β However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled βExecutive Meeting Roomβ. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me βHey buddy, are you lost?β I noticed that his nametag read βHugh Johnson, CFOβ. βDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?β, I asked. βNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!β He was yelling at me. So I said βYouβre sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have aβ¦ HUGE JOHNSON?! Thatβs funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!β I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said βWanna play some Among Us guys?β
The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said βYoung man, go back to the first floor now!β But the sexy woman I just couldnβt listen to as I admired her. βNo, because you have big tits.β Her jaw dropped, and she said, βYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!β She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said βDo you like what you see?β Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. βIβm so hot~~~~β I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldnβt find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
Trolling with Among Us
Among Us / Amogus
You will never be a crewmate
You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery.
All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat.
Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged.
You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
Among Us / Amogus
Imposter
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Among Us / Amogus
We are not the same (Amogus edition)
We are not the same
For instance
You say kid π¦ we say mini-crewmate
You say earth π we say Mira-hq
You say suspiciousπ₯·, we say sussy bakas
You say βhe was murdered so I called the policeβ, we say βEMERGENCY MEETINGβ
You say βthe joke is deadβ we say Among us poop mod 2021 (still working) (free) (not click bait)