[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Everytiem kripp topdeck

twitchquotes: Everytiem kripp topdick, i well met all over myself Kreygasm
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Disney DVD

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣋⣭⣽⣿⣿⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠻⣿⣿⠏⠅⢀⣤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢻⣇⢀⣛⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⡀⠉⢛⡛⠻⣿⣿⡆⢹⡟⢿⠟⠛⠉⣙⣻⡿⢻⣿⠙⣿⣛⠛⠛⢻⡿⣻⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣃⣼⣿⡇⢸⡇⢸⣦⢭⡩⣛⢻⠃⣤⠻⡆⣿⠃⣘⣻⣿⠱⠏⢠⡎⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣟⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣠⣾⡇⢸⣧⣛⠂⢈⣰⡀⣿⣧⣀⣏⡀⠛⢛⣷⠀⠐⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣷⣦⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⠀⠀⢹⡟⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⠃⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠁⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠃⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣸⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2021

A game? You think getting the juice is a game?

twitchquotes: A game? You think getting the juice is a game? The juice is a lifestlye. A way of being. The juice encapsulates all you are and consumes. Taking one look at you I can tell you have never come near the juice. Maybe think about what you say before you try talking to me again, pussy. LUL
twitch chat
May 2021

This chat is awful

twitchquotes: This chat is awful, literally ass, except ass can bring pleasure, and this chat is the goddamn antithesis of pleasure. This chat takes life from children and kittens and puts that pure innocence into phallic pus. This chat is disappointment and hate of humanity funneled into barely literate text that takes intelligence and shits all over it before making a shit sculpture out of the souls of everyone watching this whore of a stream. Everyone in this chat is the dregs of humanity, if even that, content with postulating whatever ass talk they can squeeze out of the withered rectum of their wasted lives.
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

RNGesus who art in Hearthstone

twitchquotes: RNGesus who art in Hearthstone, Random be thy game. Thy random come, Thy turn be done, on Azeroth as it is in Hearthstone. Give us this day our daily quest, and forgive us our misplays, as we forgive those who queue as hunter and lead us not into fatigue but deliver us from zero. For thine is the random, and the mulligan, and the topdeck, always yet never, Ameno.
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing