[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

fire fox is sus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣠⠴⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣎⠁⡀⠀⣀⡀⣩⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣏⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢔⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣬⣿⣿⣷⣿⠿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⣤⣶⢾⣤⢤⠀⢀⡈⠛⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣷⣿⣿⣧⡤⠄⠀⠀⢀⣳⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣟⣃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⡾⣟⣋⣲⠁⠘⣿⣿⣴⡆⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣟⣀⣎⣁⣠⣼⣶⣿⠃⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡁⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣟⣛⣿⣿⣿⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣽⣻⣿⣟⠶⢶⣒⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⢿⢟⣛⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣾⡫⠿⣯⣿⠿⣿⡿⡿⣊⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣝⡿⣿⣿⡿⡟⢈⢰⡽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣏⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣾⣷⣯⣿⣴⣶⡞⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣦⡤⠶⠛⡳⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡗⠀⢸⠓⠢⠘⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣇⣤⣄⣿⣷⣤⣨⣢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣏⠛⠛⠛⢻⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣟⣶⡿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡄⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⣀⡀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠛⠋⠙⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⠟⣫⣽⣿⡿⠷⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡟⠉⣀⣀⣉⣻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠁⢀⣾⣟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣿⠀⢸⣿⡉⠉⠉⠉⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠸⣿⣿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⣼⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣩⣿⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣶⣦⣶⣠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣶⣾⡿⠁⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢟⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⠤⠄⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⢿⣿⡽⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Hello Chat! I like attention

twitchquotes: Hello Chat! My name is Attention Whore. I only speak in large paragraphs or spam in short messages all in caps. I will consistently spam profanity almost in an attempt to find the boundaries of what is a bannable offense. Please yell at me and give me all your attention. Thank you for understanding and don't copy and paste this :) :)
twitch chat
May 2020

Police clearing out a homeless encampment

On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Nothing is complex for me

twitchquotes: Nothing is complex for me. I figured out flat earth when everyone on the planet was either bought into the lie or supporting it. I am a borderline genius as tested at 10 years old I am sure the number would be much higher now since I have increased my intelligence over the years. I am right you are wrong, it really is as simple as that. The DEVIL is in the details.
twitch chat
July 2017

Minion Joker

───────────▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ────────▄▀▀═════════════▀▀▄ ───────█═══════════════════█ ──────█═════════════════════█ ─────█══════▄▄███████▄▄══════█ ────█═════▄█████████████▄═════█ ────█════▄████▀─────▀████▄════█ ───███████████──█▀█──███████████ ───███████████──▀▀▀──███████████ ────█════▀█████▄▄▄▄▄█████▀════█ ────█══════▀███████████▀══════█ ────█═█▄═══════════════════▄█═█ ────█══██▄═══════════════▄██══█ ────█═══██▄═════════════▄██═══█ ────█════▀███▄═══════▄███▀════█ ────█═════▀▀███████████▀▀═════█ ────█═════════▀▀▀▀▀▀▀═════════█ ───▐▓▓▌═════════════════════▐▓▓▌ ───▐▐▓▓▌▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▐▓▓▌▌ ───█══▐▓▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▓▌══█ ──█══▌═▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌═▐══█ ──█══█═▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▌═█══█ ──█══█═▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▐██▀██▌▓▓▓▓▓▓▌═█══█ ──█══█═▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀▀▀▀▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌═█══█ ──█══█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█══█ ─▄█══█▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌█══█▄ ─█████▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌─█████ ─██████▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌─██████ ──▀█▀█──▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌───█▀█▀ ─────────▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▌ ──────────▐▓▓▓▓▌──▐▓▓▓▓▌ ─────────▄████▀────▀████▄ ─────────▀▀▀▀────────▀▀▀▀
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing