I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone
twitchquotes:
Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. 
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney
Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney. Kiyoon can be heard screaming "its a third??” after losing the last hand. Only Raydiz and K3soju are left. Mort deals their cards. Soju smirks and says “alright, bet”. Ray, feeling confident, slides all his chips into the middle of the table “fuck it, we’re all in this round”. Soju confidently throws down his cards “3 aces, KEWK”. Ray laughs and reveals his winning hand “I have a straight flush, diamond 1 to diamond 5”
Teamfight Tactics
Feminist deck
twitchquotes:
Kripp you should make a feminist deck with double equality and faceless manipulator (because all are equal), double stonetusk boar (because all men are swines) and a lot of beast synergy (because all men are animals). Thanks Kripp
twitch chat
Kripp
I sexually Identify as tyler1
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as tyler1. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of running it down mid and typing "hehe xd" to boosted animals. People say to me that a beta becoming an alpha god is impossible and that I’m fucking retarded, but I don’t care, I’m an alpha. I’m having an engineer install a McChicken dispenser and an Oreo McFlury maker in my room. From now on I want you guys to call me “tyler1” and respect my right to catch axes and flame needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re an dravenphobe and need to check your alpha privilege. hehe xd.
twitch chat
Tyler1
I sexually Identify as
League of Legends
The LGBTQ future
twitchquotes:
The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
twitch chat