I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
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More Copypastas
Kripp, this is Lucky Sanders!
twitchquotes:
Oh my god, Kripp, I've finally found you! This is Lucky Sanders! We served together in 'Nam, remember? I was the field medic in your squad! Man, I remember how you used to always volunteer to take out those Charlie sharpshooters even though I said I could handle them with my M60. "Never, Lucky," you would say. "You're too valuable to the squad." I saw you swim through stream after stream, leaving a trail of dead snipers behind you. Thank you, Kripp. You fought that war perfectly.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
This guy's vape is CRAZY VapeNation
twitchquotes:
“This guy's vape is CRAZY!” 
“My vape can't win against a rip like that” "He NEEDED precisely those two clouds to win" “He ripped the only vape that could beat me” "He ripped the perfect vapes" “There was nothing I could do” “I vaped that perfectly”
“My vape can't win against a rip like that” "He NEEDED precisely those two clouds to win" “He ripped the only vape that could beat me” "He ripped the perfect vapes" “There was nothing I could do” “I vaped that perfectly”
twitch chat
Kripp
VapeNation
Repeating yourselves like parrots
twitchquotes:
Wow, you imbeciles are especially stupid tonight. Repeating yourselves like parrots, spouting puerile taunts at each other, using crude 'emoticons'... Can you even form SENTENCES? One day you'll all be too dumb to even type your 'dongers,' and then twitch chat can finally have some merit. Until then, I'll stick to the moderated streams..
twitch chat
Kripp
I hate Twitch Chat
LACKS CRITICAL INFORMATION
twitchquotes:
HE LACKS CRITICAL INFORMATION
HE LACKS CRITICAL INFORMATION
twitch chat
Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena
twitchquotes:
Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena and i'm 29 cards in. Should I pick backstab (like you got backstabbed by your fellow brothers), betrayal (like how they betrayed you) or shiv (like how you got shived multiple times).
twitch chat