I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay
Recently, I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It’s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out “Oscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkins” each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it’s completely normal, but he’s gay, so I can’t trust him.
DansGame
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░▄█████████████▄░░
▄████████▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄█
███████▀▄█▀▀▀░░░░░▀▄
█████▀▄█▀░░░░░░░░░░▀
███▀▄█▀▒▒▒▒▒░░░░▄▄▀░▓
██▀▄█▓▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒░░▒▄▄░░
██▓█▀▓▀▄▄▄▒▒██▒░▀▀░░░
███▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▒░░░░░░
░███▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒█▄▄▒░░░░░░░
░░███▓▓▓▓▓▒▒█▀▀▀▒░░░░░░
░░░▀█▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒██░░██▒░░░
░░░░░▀▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▀▀▒▒▒░░░
░░░░░░▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██░░░░░
░░░░░░░░▀▓▓▓▓▓███▓▒░
Jerma is a character loosely inspired by Peter Griffin
Jerma985, or also known as Jeremy Elbertson, is a character loosely inspired by a character named Peter Griffin from Family Guy, an American animated sitcom created by Seth MacFarlane. Both characters are from Boston and shares the same characteristics through the show.[8] Jerma's dog, Otto, is also a reference to Brian Griffin as both characters have a pet dog. Throughout the airings of the show, this homage to Family Guy has become a running gag as the character Chat often says a memorable quote, "That's a Family Guy joke.".[9][10]
Jerma985
Arrogant globaphopic
twitchquotes:
This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist who vapes and crossfits 4 times a week and im also a male feminist as I identify myself as a pastafarian apache helicopter dog mega multi combo god of hyper death and if you dont agree with me. You're an ignorant arrogant globaphobic sexist lesbian
twitch chat
Police clearing out a homeless encampment
On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.