[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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March 2021

Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love

twitchquotes: (◕‿X✿) Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love. Y'arr be beautiful inside and out, and ye best know that ye matter so much and everythin' ya do plunders my booty in an amazin' way YARHARHAR. (◕‿X✿)
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May 2019

Trollge face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠛⠛⠛⠟⠻⠛⡻⠿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⢀⠠⠖⠚⠒⠒⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣫⡴⠞⠛⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠙⠛⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣐⣤⣴⡤⠤⠤⠤⢤⡐⠬⣿⢷⠀⠐⢹⡿⠛⠛⣛⣛⣓⣛⡓⣶⣄⠀⣦⠈⠂⠎⢻⣧⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠿⠵⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣳⡵⠀⠂⢴⣿⣿⣷⡿⠿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣄⣀⣼⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡿⠻⢻⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣰⣿⣷⡌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⡈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣷⣄⠀⠀ ⡇⢀⣶⠋⣥⢶⣿⣈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣦⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⢃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣦⡙⣷⡀ ⣷⣾⠁⡼⢡⣿⠛⣡⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣄⠛⣷⠀⢳⢘⣷ ⣿⣿⠀⠇⢸⣏⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⡀⢸⢰⣿ ⣿⢿⣧⠘⣾⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠈⠿⣷⣾⣷⣶⣤⣭⣂⣼⠿⣷⣬⡟⣁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⣰⠂⣾⣾⡿ ⡇⠀⠿⣷⡈⠻⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⡷⠈⢻⠛⠿⣿⣶⣦⣬⣄⣈⣉⣠⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⡟⠻⠙⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⠁⣼⠃⣼⣿⠟⠁ ⠃⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⠹⠏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣧⣰⠀⡀⠛⠃⠊⠹⡟⠋⠛⣿⠿⠛⠛⡏⠉⠋⡇⠀⣀⠇⢰⣇⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠎⣸⡿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣤⣸⠀⡇⢠⠀⣼⣠⣀⠀⡇⠀⡀⣄⣰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⡞⣰⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⢿⡙⠻⣿⡇⢀⠇⣥⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣆⠙⣿⣿⣆⣉⠁⠀⢋⠋⠀⡋⢹⡟⠉⢻⠋⠉⡏⠏⠀⢨⡀⠀⠀⡐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⡇⠙⠳⣌⠻⣿⣿⣆⠐⣼⣆⢠⠀⢻⣄⠀⢸⡂⠀⠂⡄⠀⢸⣷⣼⣶⣿⣿⠟⣻⣯⠁⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⡦⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠙⣷⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣿⣄⡂⣸⣇⣀⢰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⠿⢋⣱⣾⣿⣇⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠘⢨⣿⠀⣀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣙⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠟⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⠋⠅⠀⠀⣇⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⣠⡟⣣⣠⣍⣳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣂⠀⠀⢙⣧⡐⠀⠀⠀
March 2021

Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
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June 2019

PepePls

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⢄⣀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣉⣒⣄⠉⠉⠉⢉⣀⣂⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⡄⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⣐⠭⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⣒⣳⠈⠛⠂⠀⠀⣒⣛⡢⠈⢿ ⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠠⣤⣶⠖⠙⠀⡉⢻⡿⣶⣿⣿⠁⡂⠠⠈⢿⠗⢸ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠂⠭⠤⠤⠤⣤⠄⠊⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠂⠈⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣟⣛⣛⣻⡶⠶⠶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡶⠾⢃⣼⣿ ⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⡀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠓⠛⠻⠿⠿⠷⠿⠟⢃⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⢠⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠀⢠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

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