[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AITA for punching my own son and husband in the face for being NFTphobic?

So I (M 23, black), was walking around my house(2 story) and decided to check how my son (M 14) is doing. I walked into his room(Non binary, Bedroom, 89) and saw him(M 14) screenshotting an nft(red skin, ushanka, lasers from eyes)!!! I (M 24) Immediately (1 year) punched him (m 15) in the face(chipped 2 tooths, minor bruises, broken nose, bleeding from mouth). Unfortunately, my spouse(M 35) came into the room(Bedroom, 90) and called the police(racist)! I punched him(m 35) until his body (White, racist) cracked(i was satisfied, i am bonebreakigender) with an unpleasant sound. Then, two policeman(Racist policeman, M 21, and a policetranswoman F 31) came into my house(2 story) without hesitation(1 year) and locked me(M, 24, black) in a police(racist) car(Ferrari limited edition). Now i(M 24, black) have no one to talk to(prisoners). So, Reddit. AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

NFTs

Your Social Credit score increased

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⡃⡛⠈⣹⣋⣲⡐⠂⢸⡇⡘⢣⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠈⠹⢿⣠⠄⢸⣿⠄⠶⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⠰⠸⠤⢿⣡⣓⡒⡂⣒⡇⢃⢶⠄⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⣰⣾⣿⠄⢸⣟⠛⠿⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣷⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣃⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣈⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠷⣤⡼⠋⡉⠻⡿⢉⡉⢻⠉⢹⠋⣉⠛⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⣍⣴⣴⢴⣾⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⠙⠷⠄⠄⠘⠟⠄⣇⠸⠟⢻⠄⢸⠄⠶⠄⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠚⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⣿⣿⣿⠃⠐⠒⠠⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⠟⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠙⠃⠄⢻⣿⡇⠄⠄⡔⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⡀⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣶⣦⣼⠉⢉⡝⠉⡉⠙⡏⢉⡁⢸⠁⣏⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡆⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⢱⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠛⠋⢹⠄⢸⣇⠄⠖⠲⡇⠻⠃⢸⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣷⡄⠸⡀⠄⢡⠰⠄⠄⡎⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣶⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣵⣀⢸⢀⢀⣨⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2021

SPAM THIS BANANA TO HELP MICHAEL SANTANA

twitchquotes: SPAM 🍌 THIS 🍌 BANANA 🍌 TO 🍌 HELP 🍌 MICHAEL 🍌 SANTANA
twitch chat
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imaqtpie

TSM and TL waiting for Fly at the airport

twitchquotes: HELLO FLY? 📞 4Head TSM HERE 📞 4Head WE FOUND TL AT THE AIRPORT MC DONALDS 📞 4Head WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU 📞 4Head WIFI PASSWORD 0-6
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League of Legends

WIN LOSE STREAM EAT GIMME GIMME

twitchquotes: I WIN BabyRage I LOSE BabyRage I STREAM BabyRage I EAT BabyRage GIMME GIMME BabyRage
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Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing