[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Elundus Core

twitchquotes: The Elundus Core was a 6.2-kilogram (14 lb) subcritical mass of a previously undiscovered isotope of plutonium measuring 89 millimeters and was previously held in Felix "xQc" Lengyel's basement. It now lives in the depths of yellowstone waiting to explode
twitch chat
May 2019
xQcOW

Dr DisRespect

⣿⠄⡇⢸⣟⠄⠁⢸⡽⠖⠛⠈⡉⣉⠉⠋⣁⢘⠉⢉⠛⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣷⣤⠄⣠⠖⠁⠄⠂⠁⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠎⠄⠠⠎⢐⠄⢑⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠓⠨⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠐⠅⠄⠉⠄⠗⠆⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡣⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣤⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠔⠿⡿⠿⠒⠄⠠⢤⡀⡀⠄⠁⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡖⠄⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⠟⡖⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣧⠄⠂⠸⣈⡏⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡿⢻⡿⣻⣶⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡷⡂⠄⠄⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⡿⠁⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⢈⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣥⣬⣿⣿⣟⣿⠃⠄⠨⠺⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠱⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣸⡝⠿⢿⣿⡿⣿⠻⠟⠻⢫⡁⠄⠄⠄⡐⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⡜⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⡐⡇⢿⣽⣻⣷⣦⣧⡀⡀⠄⠄⣴⣺⡇⠄⠁⠄⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠡⠱⠄⠄⠡⠄⢠⣷⠆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠠⠁⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⣲⣧⣷⣿⢂⣄⡉⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣻⣯⠿⠟⠋⠉⢰⢦⠄⠊⢾⣷⣮⣽⣛
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

Fuck you all, I’m never listening to this sub again.

Yesterday I said we’d see a rally like we’ve never seen before I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts. My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully I’ll make something. Somehow oil also tanked. Fuck you all. I’m only listening to myself now. You’re all retarded and so am I for listening to you. Edit: not sure why some of you degens think I’m blaming you. Of course it’s my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards See you tomorrow
March 2022

WallStreetBets

If you watch good anime, you're a real anime fan

twitchquotes: Imagine thinking as long as you watch anime, you're a anime fan, lol what a joke. There are levels to this, if you watch bad anime and have bad taste, you're not a real anime fan. If you watch good anime and have good taste like me, you're a real anime fan. Truth hurts. #anime
twitch chat
October 2020

Weebs

Imagine using a mid tier character

twitchquotes: Imagine using a mid tier character that needs tons of practice and dedication as you need to memorize every gimp and gimmick and you lose to some smash 4 downsmash down B up B shit
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing