[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Forsen was drinking on the job

twitchquotes: Forskin used to work at the sperm bank but was fired for drinking on the job
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: 𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙? 𝕀'𝕞 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕥𝕣𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕒𝕪 𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕖. 𝕀𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕠𝕣 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕡𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕡𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘. 𝔾𝕠𝕕, 𝕀 𝕤𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙. ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕𝕟'𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕖?
twitch chat
February 2018
MOONMOON

Story about the Romanian Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Here's the story about the Romanian Kripparrian. Born to a Momarrian and Paparrian. Lived in Canadarrian for some timerrian but is engaged to a womanarrian in Greecerrian. Rainarrian has absorbed Kripparrian and will one day make many babyarrians. Kripparrian and the familyarrian lived happy ever afterarrian. Please no copy pasterrian.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Middle finger v3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠏⠁⠀⠙⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠶⣶⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠇⠀⠀⠉⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⢿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠸⡷⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠋⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠇⠀⠀⠀⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2022

3% off of everything except my forehead

twitchquotes: Reynad ran crying out of the house. Knowing something was wrong, Frodan ran out after him. "What's wrong?" Frodan asked Reynad. Reynad replied with tears in his eyes, "Everyone was making fun of me." "Why?" Frodan said. Reynad barely eked out the words, "I can use promo code TEMPO to get 3% off of everything, except my forehead."
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing