[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Minecraft creeper

█████████████████ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░████░░░████░░█ █░░████░░░████░░█ █░░░░░░███░░░░░░█ █░░░░███████░░░░█ █░░░░███████░░░░█ █░░░░██░░░██░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █████████████████ ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── █████████████████ █░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░█ █████████████████ █████████████████
December 2020

HELLO DALLAS FUEL? IT'S THE POINT

twitchquotes: 📞 4Head HELLO DALLAS FUEL? 📞 4Head IT'S THE POINT 📞 4Head IM RUNNING OUT OF TIME
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I fucking hate the word poggers

I fucking hate the word poggers. It's not funny, it's not quirky, it's stupid. It's just an Asian man going gasp!. It is not funny and I do not enjoy looking at it. Whenever someone says poggers out loud I'm just like "I get it you use fucking twitch.
December 2020

I (M9) would like to know if downdooting is morally correct

Hi, memers of Reddit!! I (M9) would like to know if downdooting is morally correct. I know, I know, downdooting is okay if someone roasts King Elon (A fellow redditor!) or Lord Keanu. It is not wholesome, and deserves to be downvoted to H-E-Double hockey sticks. However, if I see a post that I simply do not agree with or do not like, is downdooting morally right? Thank you memers of reddit, have a breathtaking day!
August 2021

Reddit

Just got told i was gay becouse i smell nice???

Bruh? Like sorry i don't smell like a mix of piss sweat and axe body spray Troy. I will gladly shower every night AND morning and use fruit and coconut smelled soap and deodorant. My good hygeine doesn't have anything to do with my professional competitive cock sucking
February 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing