[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

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Classic

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Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro

I was driving with a friend I grab his leg instead of the gearstick We both laugh and I unzip his pants I park the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends I start sucking his dick and was about to choke on it because I'm laughing so hard My friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO" He then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke. Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.
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📞 4Head HEY DALLAS

twitchquotes: 📞 4Head HEY DALLAS 📞 4Head JUST HIT BRONZE 📞 4Head CAN I JOIN?
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