[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Padoru 2

PADORU PADORU ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠚⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠀⢸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠑⣌⡉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⡆⠀ ⠀⢀⠇⠀⢸⡭⡷⡶⢤⡤⣤⣀⣀⣀⢠⡤⢤⡶⣾⢡⠀⠀⢠⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⢳⣦⣷⣇⣱⠁⢧⠟⡜⣈⣆⣦⣧⣯⢾⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⡄⠰⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡀⠀⢸⠇ ⣿⣇⠀⠀⡃⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⠀⠇⢀⣿⣦ ⢉⣿⣤⡄⣱⣄⡀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⡌⠀⣼⣿⠋ ⠈⠁⠠⢤⢗⡨⠽⠉⠐⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣌⣿⣿⣤⡼⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠅⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2018

I sexually identify as a priest player

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a priest player. Everyday I dream about flying into ranked games and conceding to rank 25 players. Call me retarded. I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm getting plastic surgery to get my minions silenced for 2 mana. You can now refer to me as Anduinn and respect my right to concede on turn 1. If you can't accept me you're a holy-phobe and need to check your concede privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

So you start reading a copy pasta...

twitchquotes: So you start reading a copy pasta... wondering when it will get good. It's a large wall of text, there must be something of substance somewhere in here, right? You scroll up to stop the chat elevator so you can finish reading it. But then you realize... It's just a waste of your time. It's just a large wall of text that is completely useless. It's a waste of everyone's time... Regardless, you highlight the text, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V and hit Enter...
twitch chat
November 2016

as a person who has lots of sex all the time

as a person who has lots of sex all the time, i can say that this game is 100% accurate to having sex with sexy women. like i do. everyday. this game did not make me horny however. i am not gay. i just have too much sex with real women to spend more than 15 minutes in this game. on the other hand i would recommend this game to people who do not have sex (unlike me because i have lots of sex with women a lot) as there is a naked woman in it and she is naked. she kinda looks like one of my many girlfriends who i have sex with a lot. i have lots of sex. i also an very handsome and women ALWAYS want to have sex with me because i am very muscular and handsome and very good at video games. all my girlfriends say im very good at sex and playing video games and being handsome. one of my girlfriends asked me to have sex with her but i told her i was playing a sex game instead so she started crying and became a lesbian and killed herself because i did not have sex with her. i have sex with women. not men. i am not gay. i am very cool and handsome so girls always have sex with me because i am very cool and sexy. my penis is very big. all my girlfriends like my penis because it is very big and i am very good at sex with my women. every woman ive had sex with is very sexy and so am i. i have lots of sex. i am also very handsome and sexy and i have lots of sex.
September 2021

Among Us crewmate

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⡿⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠈⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣯⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣷⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀ ⠀⢰⣿⡟⠋⠉⣹⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀ ⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⡆⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠸⣿⣧⡀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⠶⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⣽⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢹⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠁⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

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