[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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I've been depressed and suicidal because of my mom's onlyfans

I'm 13 and and my mom is 33. Things at the school were never great. I'm sorta short so i get picked on some but it was manageable. That was, until one of my classmates showed me a picture of my mom naked. I almost had a panic attack and had to be excused from the classroom. I ended up not showing up to school for a few days (faking sick). I was hoping that things would cool off but they didn't. As soon as I got to school almost everyone was staring and laughing at me. This has been going on for about a week now. I was wondering how my classmates even got the pictures and apparently my mom advertises her onlyfans on her personal Twitter account. Some students from the school follow her and were able to see the nudes and they have been spread everywhere. I don't even have a Twitter so I didn't know about any of this. The worst part is when I confronted my mom about this she told me that I was overreacting and that sex work is basically the same as working at a bank or a grocery store. She also said it makes her feel good about herself and that I should be happy that she's more confident now. I told the principal but they can't suspend thousands of students or take anyone's phones. I've been crying in my room everyday for the past week. I don't think I can take it anymore.
July 2021

Among us crewmate running ass

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠟⠛⠿⠻⠿⠿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢙⣨⣥⣶⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣅⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⢀⡴⠟⠋⢉⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⠉⠻⣿⣧⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢻⣿⣇⠝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⣼⡿⠟⠀⠙⣛⣬⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⠄⠁⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣀⠙⣛⣛⣻⠛⠋⣉⣢⣤⣾⠃⣰⡄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⢹⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠸⣷⠀⢻⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠻⠇⢈⠁⠀⠀⠲⠠⠞⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⢤⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡉⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠐⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡇⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢃⡿⠿⠛⡋⣀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢁⣠⣿⡦⠐⠀⢈⡙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢃⣤⣤⡀⠻⣿⣇⣠⣴⡿⠄⠹⣧⡸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⢿⡿⠋⣠⣤⣀⠈⣡⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠅⣀⣈⠁⣰⣿⣿⡿⠋⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣂⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣬⣅⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Kripp whines some more...

twitchquotes: ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴏʀ, Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀᴇᴅ, "Hᴇ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇᴀᴛ... ᴍᴇ...
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

What is inside that taco? Oh no it's Kripp's arena run

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBTacoRight WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull 0-3 TBCheesePull TBTacoRight OH NO IT'S KRIPP'S ARENA RUN LUL
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hello this is Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you be quiet for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that video game tournament. Peace out!
twitch chat
June 2019

Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing