I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Middle finger
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A physicist called Octavian
twitchquotes:
The year is 2027. A physicist called Octavian has created the first inter-dimensional portal capable of exploring alternate galaxies. "Finally, I have done it..." he says as he steps into the portal. He enters a room where he sees himself giving a "Brofist" to his computer. His only reaction: " 
".
".
twitch chat
Kripp
In west Philadelphia born and raised
twitchquotes:
In west philadelphia born and raised in the twitch is where i spent most my days, Spamin copy pasta and acting like tool, just watching Kripp mess up like hes a fool. When a couple of Trumps who werent any good. Started copy pastin in my neighborhood. They got one little warning but that aint fair. They said show us some skill or im just gonna spam.
twitch chat
Kripp
A severe lack of cute emotes in chat
twitchquotes:
Konichiwa Kripp-kun 
. This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
. This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
Kripp
Weebs
Classic
LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica
twitchquotes:
LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica, having been lost at sea due to his lack of geographical knowledge as well as his lack of map awareness and ending up in the region known for their excellent ARAM skills and elderly pro players. He is specifically known for his knowledge about "freezing" and one-tricking Volibear in level 25 draft pick. He states: "I had to shove the wave and ended up in NA. If we hadn't anchored I wouldn't be hardstuck in the fucking atlantic sea" and "No, my pathing wasn't bad, if the captain had listened to me we could've denied 3 waves". He can be found sailing the bottom of solo-queue just like he almost sailed the bottom of the sea.
twitch chat
imls