[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
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Who is TUCK and why does everyone want to FRUMP him?

twitchquotes: Hello Twitch chat, i am new to Twitch and wanted to know who this "T U C K" guy is and why everyone wants to "F R U M P" him? I thank you for your answers and pls no copy pasta this spam Greyface Kappa Kappa
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You do not deserve to have Raymond

twitchquotes: Hello! I have been following your tweets for the past two days, and have come to the conclusion you do not deserve to have Raymond on your island. He is my comfort character and seeing him in an environment not meant for him brings me anxiety, so I will be expecting a reply to this DM when you have him in boxes and ready to relinquish him to someone who will treasure him like he deserves.
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Kripp commits sudoku over spilled OJ

twitchquotes: The Kripp goes to grocery store. He sees the OJ and yells : Well met ! An old lady next to him get so startled she drops her OJ. Kripp commits sudoku, overcome by grief. RIP in piece Kripp.
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Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
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SHOW YOUR KNEECAPS TO THE WORLD QTPIE

twitchquotes: All my life has led to this one moment. It could happen. But it could also dissipate before my very eyes. This is it. This is MY DREAM. Show them to me Qtpie, fuck dude, SHOW THEM TO THE WORLD! KNEECAPS. We all know you have them. NOW GIVE THEM TO ME. Plz no copy pasterino....
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imaqtpie
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