[Copypasta] Trevor from ChatBotsForTwitch.com

twitchquotes: Hi [insert streamer name], this is Trevor from ChAtBotsForTwitch,com. We kindly request that if you're going to pay the extra to have our employees interact with your chat, you don't make fun of them. We know you have difficulty getting real viewers and it frustrates you, but please don't take it out on my employees. Thank you, Trevor.
twitch chat
March 2021

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

AYAYA

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⡛⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⢟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠻⡫⣢⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣨⣝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢕⠸⣛⣩⣥⣄⣩⢝⣛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣆⢝ ⣿⣿⢡⣸⣿⣏⣿⣿⣶⣯⣙⠫⢺⣿⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣟⣒⣋⣙⠊ ⣿⡏⡿⣛⣍⢿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣝⡮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣋⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡕⣡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿ ⣦⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⢛⠷⡹⣿⠋⣉⣠⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣿ ⣷⡝⣿⡞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠁⣠⣤⣤⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡹⣿⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡿⠟⠉⡀⠄⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣼⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⠿⢟⣻⡽⢚⣤⡞⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿
ascii art
October 2018

Weebs

Classic

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

If you are reading this, WAKE UP

twitchquotes: If you are reading this, WAKE UP. You are in a simulation. Don't you see it? The same responses repeating in chat? Its because the computer only has a set number of lines. Wake up before its too late!
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school. Its so cool to see you streaming on Twitch. Me and Dustin really miss you. The cheerleading team is nothing without you. And remember that kiss you and I shared in the back of the bus? Those were some good times. We should definitely hook up again XOXO
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing