[Copypasta] We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp 🐟 Elon TechnoCuckLord πŸ€–+🀴 Jeff Divorcedzos πŸ’” Salmonella πŸ” Nutella 🍫 Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🀑 Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈 Ryan Cocken your butthole πŸ₯’πŸ’¦ πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜³ πŸ₯’ Z πŸ₯’ U πŸ₯’ C πŸ₯’ C πŸ₯’ Tim 🍎 Bottom πŸ…±οΈENIS Jack Ma MIA πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods πŸ™βœοΈ
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant. 3 years later, NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
January 2022

WallStreetBets

Mitch is the type of dude who...

Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal. Mitch the kinda guy to leave β€œsmile more” on the tip section of a receipt Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

bears are always fucked

Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a 🌈🐻 this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
April 2021

WallStreetBets

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