I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.๏ปฟ
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Classic Copypastas
Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!
twitchquotes:
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ 
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
twitch chat
Classic
You have been permanently banned from this channel
twitchquotes:
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ You have been permanently banned from this channel โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
You have been permanently banned from this channel โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
twitch chat
MODS
Classic
My Grandfather smoked his whole life
My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
Classic
TSM aka "Tribe of Silver Monkeys"
twitchquotes:
TSM, aka "Tribe of Silver Monkeys," is a team in Riot Games' Minor League that is often ridiculed for being washed-up and having an owner that looks like Wukong. It is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
twitch chat
Riot Games