[Copypasta] It can never be opposite day

It can never be opposite day. When ever you say "HEY IT'S OPPOSITE DAY!" the opposite would apply therefor it would not be opposite day. Also if you say "IT'S NOT OPPOSITE DAY!" the affect is not applied.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
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AYAYA pyramid

twitchquotes: ______ AYAYA only real Ayaa can build the perfect pyramid AYAYA AYAYA . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me !! AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA And my pyramid still higher!!!! AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA yes I am very good look!! AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA one more u say ? AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA for fun ok !!
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May 2019

Weebs

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
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June 2019

That's the power of cargo pants

twitchquotes: Excuse me? Cargo pants, motherfucker. My pockets have pockets. You can't stop the storage. And when it gets too hot, just unzip and remove the lower half of the legs. Utility, motherfuckers. Want me to hold your phone for a second? how about I hold one of every phone on the market, each with their own individual pocket. Want me to hold your souvenir from your vacation to Europe? How about I put Europe in my pocket. That's the power of cargo pants, motherfuckers
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Ben Shapiro's naughty girl

Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl. Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew

twitchquotes: Let me tell you a story. I was once a young pistachio like you. But then I saw the light. I saw the kripp and let the kripp into my life. Now I am a grand old cashew with a pepperoni plantation to boot. Don't make the mistake I once did and deny the kripp. Kripp is love. Kripp is life. Praise the Kripp. Amen.
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May 2014
Kripp
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